


Hisoka x Reader: Bloodstained Love

by Actual_Angel



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Blow Jobs, Buckle the fuckle up, Bungee Gum Bondage, Choking, Clown man can still crush me, Cunnilingus, Dominant Hisoka (Hunter X Hunter), Edging, F/M, Fighting Kink, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Angst, Forced Orgasm, Friends to Enemies, He could break my heart and i would apologize, Hisoka's Bungee Gum Nen Ability (Hunter X Hunter), Im a filthy sinner thanks, Like very sadistic Hisoka, Loss of Virginity, Man im really outting my fucked up thoughts huh, Nen (Hunter X Hunter), Rough Sex, Sadism, Sadistic hisoka, Smut, Spanking, Top Hisoka (Hunter X Hunter), Vaginal Fingering, reader has ptsd
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:28:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 53,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23597599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Actual_Angel/pseuds/Actual_Angel
Summary: He was your best friend when the world seemed so small, when the two of you were chubby-cheeked, naive kids. You thought he'd never leave, but Hisoka had always been a liar. After all these years, divergent paths cross once again.(On hiatus until further notice)
Relationships: Hisoka (Hunter x Hunter)/Reader
Comments: 225
Kudos: 740





	1. A Rocky Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> I'll warn you now. This is going to get really fucked up. Please don't read this if you're easily disturbed by graphic violence and rape. I really don't want anyone getting triggered. Take care of yourselves.
> 
> For the rest of you, buckle up. This is gonna be a time.

You leaned against the wall of a rusted-out amusement park ride, taking in the silence of the cool, fall night. The light pollution blocked out the stars and the moonlight shining on the rides cast jagged shadows all over the park. Places absent of people were far and few in between. Sometimes you'd come here just for some peace and quiet and other times you'd come to reminisce. Tonight was one of those sappy nights. The uncanny resemblance this place bore to the circus back home was comforting in a way, like greeting an old friend after years of not seeing each other. Life was much simpler as a child. No cares or worries to bring you down; you could live purely in the moment. You wondered where your childhood friends were now.

With your eyes closed, your aura surged as you fell deep into the pit of your memories.

Your thoughts drifted to the friend you held closest. That boy with the red hair and prettiest yellow eyes you've ever seen. Hisoka. Back then, he was a scrawny little thing whose baggy clothes seemed to swallow him up. Attire aside, he had always been incredibly fascinating. It was almost like he had a magnetic pull that drew you in closer and closer. You were never bored with him. Hell, you told him some things that you had never told anyone else before. Maybe that's why it hurt so much when he left.

"What do we have here?" 

What in the seven shades of shit?! Your eyes shot open and you jumped so hard that you thought your soul left your body. The pale face of a man loomed above you with a smile that looked anything but kind. Where the fuck did he come from? You didn't even sense him until he was upon you.

Shit. What should you do now? There was the distinct feeling that whatever his next move was, it wouldn't end well for you. Should you fight? If you pulled your knife on him, he'd have no choice but to defend himself. Combat would be unavoidable. However, remaining passive could give him the perfect opportunity to attack you.

Your body made the decision for you. In an instant you were on your feet and your knife was pointed right at him. You could see now that the stranger had spiked up red hair and a rather devious look on his angular face. As his tall and muscular frame stalked towards you, you struggled to keep yourself from trembling. Even though muscles didn't necessarily mean someone was that strong, there was an air of danger to him that no one else you'd ever come across had, like he would kill you without hesitation. Run. Your brain told you to run as fast as possible, but your legs wouldn't allow it. Not yet.

Shrouds of aura clung to the knife without your control, unrefined and unstable. You threw it at him as hard as you could. He dodged it like it was the easiest thing in the world, but you didn't stick around to watch. You bolted. In the midst of your mad dash to whatever safety you hoped to find, you managed to conceal your presence from him. You weren't even sure how you did it, but somehow it happened.

You ducked behind one of the buildings there, pressing your back against the metal and listening for his footsteps. Wait a minute. Now that you were paying attention, you noticed that you couldn't sense him either. Did that mean he was gone? Maybe he wouldn't find you, maybe he gave up.

"Found you," in an instant, he was so close that you could feel his breath on your ear.

By the time your brain processed that he was even there, you were jerked up by your arms and forced between the wall and his body. He captured your wrists and pinned them above your head. How the fuck did he move so fast? You had absolutely no time to react. And not only was he fast, he was strong too. No matter how hard you squirmed, you couldn't make him budge.

The way his toned body pressed against you and his leg suggestively sank in between yours invoked a new sense of dread. His intentions were clear. He was going to rape and probably murder you in a place that had once been your solace. It was a real shame it had to be like this too. In another circumstance, you might have considered this stranger pretty.

"You seem so...familiar," he leaned in, his lips dangerously close to yours, "have we met?"

Do you _know_ him? You didn't think so. With an appearance and aura like that, you'd definitely remember someone like him. Then again...now that you weren't scrambling to hide, the wheels in your mind began to turn. There was this feeling that you were missing something here, something important. Unfortunately, your mouth spoke before the answer could come to your mind.

"Do I look like someone that would associate with a perverted bastard like you?" You snapped back with a snarl.

Wow, nice one, (Y/N). Talking back to your potential murderer was such a _wonderful_ idea.

"My my, you've got quite the mouth on you," he smiled, seemingly encouraged by your attitude. Great. That was totally the effect you were going for. "I'd love to preoccupy it with something more fun."

Oh, you _hated_ that. You had a pretty good idea of exactly what he meant too.

God, there had to be _something_ you could do. Anything. Maybe you could talk him out of it? No, that's a stupid idea. Men like him couldn't be stopped with reason. You had to try to make him lose interest somehow, show him that you weren't worth the trouble.

"Why are you doing this?" You asked, trying to buy time to come up with a plan. "Can't you just leave me alone?"

" _You_ attacked _me,_ remember?" He shifted his grip so that one hand was wrapped around your wrists. The other was free to trail down your sides and grip at your waist. You tried to move away from his touch, but he wouldn't allow it. "I was only trying to say hello."

He was so full of shit. With a face and a sinister presence like that, good nature was out of the question for a man like him. His lies hidden behind an innocent tone did remind you of something...or rather someone? That's it! That's who you were thinking of before...but it couldn't be...could it? He wasn't exactly the type to come looking for someone from his past.

Now that you had the person in mind, the pieces started to fall together. The star and tear drop face paint, the red hair and yellow eyes, the way he spoke, and the strange clothes...it had to be him. It wouldn't hurt to ask either, would it?

You smiled at him and he raised a brow. You just hoped you were right.

"I guess I'm not surprised you don't remember me... _Hisoka_ ," you shook your head, slackening in his grip. "It's (Y/N), your old friend."

His eyes widened and he stepped back, releasing you from his hold. Much to your surprise, he seemed to remember you as well. Now that you weren't afraid of being assaulted by him, questions began racing through your mind. Why the hell was he here? He didn't recognize you, so it's not like he was out hunting for you. He could be lying, but the shock followed by realization seemed to genuine. And the most important question was, of course, how the fuck did he go from this stick thin boy to an absolutely jacked man? Totally not fair.

"You're an asshole, you know that?" You tested the waters, curious how he'd respond to this. Would he leave and pretend he never saw you? Or would things be just like they were when you were kids?

"Maybe so," he smiled, "but you started it."

"Oh bullshit," you rolled your eyes, "why are you here anyway?" 

It was a bit strange that both of you ended up in the same place at the same time. Was it fate? The separate paths of old friends converging once more? Probably not, but it was fun to think that way.

"I could ask you the same question."

You rolled your eyes. Typical clown, always avoiding or deflecting your questions. He usually didn't even have a reason to do so. Hisoka just enjoyed how much it irritated you.

"I asked you first, clown."

For someone whose old friend almost just killed them, you sure were getting comfortable with him pretty quickly. However, you did recognize that there was something distinctly different about him this time.

"Very well," he chuckled, "I was looking for an escape. The city is rather noisy, don't you think?"

"I suppose it is. I'm out here for the same reason." You glanced up at the moon, a little smile slipping onto your face. "It's funny. I was just thinking about you before you jumped me."

"Even after all this time, I'm still on your mind?" He taunted. "How adorable."

"Oh shut up," you scoffed, folding your arms across your chest. Just when you thought you might have a sweet moment between the two of you, he always ruined it with that mouth of his. Perhaps it was your fault for expecting any different. "It's not like that."

"Oh, is that so?" His arm wrapped around your waist while the other met your hip, pulling your body flush against his. "I seem to remember you being quite infatuated with me. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to take you back then."

You shuddered from the contact, looking up into those yellow eyes as your hands met his chest. For a moment, your emotions were on display. He was still a charming yet creepy bastard, you'd give him that. Even more alarming was the abrupt resurgence of feelings you thought you had buried years ago. Turns out repression didn't actually work. What a surprise. You tried to steel your nerves, but it was too late. He already saw and that smug grin of his only grew wider.

"How easy do you think I am?" You gave him a rather unimpressed look. Instead of acknowledging that yes, maybe you _still_ had a crush on him, you decided you were just shocked by the sudden contact. You mistakenly let your guard down. That's all. "You _at least_ have to take me to dinner first."

Him pointing out your past attraction to him had the unfortunate effect of unearthing memories you thought were lost as well. Your other friends would make fun of you for liking him and at the time, you were certain Hisoka knew. However, you didn't want to jeopardize the friendship, so you never made a move. You thought for sure that your infatuation was unrequited, but he clearly contradicted that with his words. As embarrassing as it was, you had dreamt about being with him, even after he left. It got so bad that you hadn't been with anyone else. Ever. It's not that you were saving yourself, you just hadn't found anyone you were interested in, not like him.

"Dinner? Alright. I know a place."

____________________

Reuniting with Hisoka was just as strange as you expected it to be. He really _hadn't_ changed since the two of you were kids. He was still just as eccentric and observant as he had always been—and annoying too. At times, he could tell you how you were feeling before you even realized it, yet you usually couldn't read him. He was so closed off. Not once had he ever let his guard down.

"So, what have you been up to lately?" You asked, sitting across from him in the corner of the restaurant he suggested. It was a quaint place with little activity. "You still in the circus?"

"It certainly feels like it at times," he smiled, resting his chin in one hand, "but no, I'm not. However, I'm far more interested in you."

Interested in you? Did he really mean that?

"Oh, I forgot to mention. Your Zetsu back there was perfect. I take it you've found a teacher?"

Zetsu? Teacher? Just what the hell was he talking about?

"My Zetsu? I don't know what that is."

"Oh, you learned it all on your own?" his eyes glanced down at your lips, "wonderful."

"Hisoka, what the fuck are you talking about?" You had to ignore him staring at your lips. Otherwise, your thoughts might wander to places they shouldn't right now.

"Hm?" He met your eyes once more and you could tell he was done with the topic. You knew by now that trying to make him talk about anything was pointless.

"Forget it."

You tried to think of what you wanted to say to him, but nothing came up. Your mind was blank. One would think that the two of you would have a lot of catching up to do, but Hisoka didn't seem particularly open to it. You honestly wondered why he even brought you here in the first place.

"It's weird, you know," you were the one to break the silence first.

"What's that?"

"That we ended up in the same place. You never said why you were even in Yorknew."

"Is it really so strange? We're birds of a feather, you and I," he said, "and neither did you."

Would it kill him to give you a straightforward answer for once? You rolled your eyes.

"It's just where I settled down I guess. It's as good a place as any to start preparing for the hunter exam."

"The hunter exam, eh? I suppose being a hunter would suit you. And how have you been preparing?"

"Wow you're actually listening to me? That's a first," you teased, "just testing my limits basically."

"Is that so?" He leaned forward, clearly amused with your answer. "That's something I could assist you with."

"Pass," you deflected. Although the blush settling on your cheeks was telling enough for someone like him. "Besides, you're way too strong to help me with something like that. You'd probably kill me."

"There's only one way to find out," his eyes glinted with mischief. Was he challenging you?

"Are you seriously suggesting that you test me?" You raised a brow at him. "Yeah, no. I'm not giving you an excuse to hit me."

"Do you really think I would need an excuse?" His eyes shifted down to your chest and back up to your eyes. "No, it's far too soon. I wouldn't want to break you just yet."

Did his bitch ass seriously think you were that weak?! Well now you _had_ to fight him out of pure spite. Fuck caring about whether or not he beats your ass—as well as your complete lack of experience. You have a point to prove.

"You know what? Fuck you," while your words were provocative, there was no real malice behind them. Okay maybe a little bit. "We're fighting whether you like it or not."

"Well, I suppose I can't stop you. I know how _determined_ you can be." Oh he was playing you, wasn't he? He knew just how to rile you up. Too late to take it back now. "After dinner, then?"

"After dinner."

____________________

Now that you were actually outside, challenging him didn't seem like such a good idea anymore. You weren't a martial artist and that man radiated power, significantly more so than ever before. His reflexes had always been excellent too. It's just...someone so badly needs to knock him off his pedestal. You weren't so deluded that you thought you could do it at this point—especially after watching him fight years ago—but your damn pride wouldn't let you back down. 

"Where are we going?" You asked, glancing up at him as he walked beside you. You couldn't think of a good place for sparring that was nearby. Everything was too closed in.

You noticed as the two of you traveled together that there were people from all different walks of life passing you along the street and cars rushing by. The city was bursting with life, yet everything seemed dull compared to him. Your thoughts wandered as you stared at Hisoka, memories of the past resurfacing, ranging from his card tricks that he refused to explain, to his performances at the circus, to the last time you ever saw him. You tried to ignore those last ones. If you focused on them too much, your emotions might get away from you.

"Hm? Oh, I thought I was following you." The genuine confusion on his face made you stop dead in your tracks. You were supposed to be leading him?! Since when had you ever done that?

"Just kidding," he gave you a coy smile, "there's a nice little hotel nearby." 

His last statement was enough to stop the snarky comment from leaving your lips. Was he being serious? He looked like he was being serious.

"You're going to fight me...in a hotel?" You looked at him like he was the dumbest person you had ever met. Sometimes, he was. Why would he want to do it there? A room would be too small, wouldn't it? You were _not_ about to pay for the damage his dumbass would inevitably leave.

"Who said we're just going to fight?" He looked like he knew something you didn't. "I took you to dinner, didn't I?"

Wait what did—oh. _Oh._ You looked away from him, unsure of how you were supposed to respond to that. Was he really going to do that with you? It just seemed so impossible that a man like him would be interested in someone like you. Then again, you weren't sure if you really want to complicate your relationship with him even further by adding sex into the mix of it. Did you want him to be your first? Shit. This reunion was turning out to be a lot more complicated than you anticipated.

As the hotel drew closer, that annoying memory was back like a fly buzzing by your ear. The more you thought about it, the more you realized that you were still angry. You never had the chance to ever ask him _why_ he suddenly disappeared one day. Hell, for all you knew, this might be your only chance to ever ask him. Who's to say he won’t leave you all over again?

"Hisoka?" You broke the silence.

"Hm?"

"Why?"

"Why what? You'll have to be more specific."

You hesitated for a second. Saying the words, acknowledging what felt like a betrayal was more difficult than you thought it would be.

"Why did you leave me?"

For the first time, he seemed a bit caught off guard. His smile slipped into a more neutral expression and his eyes shifted forward. You didn't think he was going to answer, but after a minute or so, he finally spoke.

"I was tired of being trapped in the same place. It's as simple as that.

As you watched his visage, you thought that for once he might be telling the truth. While you suspected that there was more to it than that, Hisoka had never been very deep, even as a child. Always looking forward. 

"You couldn't have at least told me where you were going?" There was a tone of bitterness in your voice, accompanied by a scowl. Anger that had festered over the years was taking over, clouding your judgement. You had spent so much time and energy pining and worrying about him and suddenly he just shows up out of nowhere? Yes, you were happy to see him. However, you couldn't let go of the past, especially when he seemed so similar to the kid you knew.

"I'm so sorry," his words may have been an apology, but his tone was far from genuine. He didn't care. Maybe he never cared. It hurt more than it should've. 

"No, you're not!" You stopped in your spot and he turned to face you. "If you were sorry, you would have at least tried to contact me before now!"

You weren't sure where this was coming from. You had been just fine moments ago at the restaurant, enjoying that this was just like old times. And now everything just felt sour. Ruined. You thought you accepted that he would never come back for you, that he'd never care for you like you cared for him. He should have just stayed away. 

"Let me make it up to you. I promise you'll enjoy it."

There really wasn't a point in holding a grudge, was there? You knew how he was. It was done. He was here now, and you were curious about how he intended to make it up to you anyway.

You let him close the distance between the two of you and when he reached out, you didn't move away. He took your chin in his hand and tilted your head up to meet his gaze.

The two of you stood there for a moment and his hand moved to cup your cheek. Without even realizing it, you were leaning in and so was he. His other arm wrapped around your waist while you draped your arms over his neck. All of it felt perfectly natural. As soon as his lips connected with yours, an explosion of butterflies fluttered in your stomach. Your movements were sloppy and inexperienced while his were precise and controlled, but Hisoka didn't seem to mind. It was so tempting to lose yourself in the bliss of it. For years, you had dreamt about how you would kiss him and now it was finally happening. 

His nails digging into your skin only made you want more from him, made you crave his touch, but your anger wasn't quite gone just yet. He implied that he'd fuck you after he fought you didn't he? Well, you wouldn't want to let him down.

You kneed his groin and jumped back, readying yourself to fight him. He let out an "oof," briefly doubling over before standing back up again as if nothing happened at all. What the fuck? Either he didn't have balls, he didn't feel pain, or you were just really weak. You weren't sure which you wanted to be true.

"I still mad," you said, tensing your body in preparation to strike, "and I said I was going to fight you, didn't I?"

"You don't disappoint, do you?" Hisoka just stood there with his hand on his hip. For someone who just got kicked in the dick, he sure was amused by your bullshit. Was there still nothing that angered him? "Well done. You caught me off guard."

"The more you talk, the more I want to kick your ass."

He held up his hand and curled his fingers towards himself, inviting your attack. Cocky bastard. Well, if he wasn't going to make the first move, you had no choice. There was no time to devise a strategy and so you rushed forward as fast as you could, aiming a punch directly for his face.

You missed by a mile. Hisoka dodged as if it was the easiest thing in the world and you were left flying forward. His hand grabbing the back of your collar was the only thing that stopped you from face planting on the ground.

"You'll have to try a bit harder than that."

He threw you back, sending you to the ground on your ass. You scrambled to get to your feet, keeping your distance from him. Okay, so he was faster than you expected. Going in head on wouldn't work. You should've known that with how easily he cornered you at the park.

This time, you rushed at him again, aiming for his stomach, but you faked him out with a kick for his head instead. He used his arm to block your foot with ease and his leg swept yours out from under you. Within seconds of beginning this battle, you were on the ground for the second time.

You saw his foot aimed directly for you head. You rolled to the side, flinching at the force of the stomp that just barely missed you. The cement splintered and cracked beneath his foot like it was as brittle as glass. Holy fuck. Not only was he stronger than you realized, but it also seemed like he was trying to kill you. Even so, he appeared as calm as ever.

As you sprung to your feet for the second time, Hisoka was upon you in a flash. His hand wrapped around your throat and your feet left the ground. You clawed at his hand, desperately trying to escape. Fuck fuck fuck! He was taking this way too far. Fuck, he might actually murder you right here and now if you didn't do something to stop him.

The pressure was building in your head and your vision was starting to blur. You had to act fast. In a panic, you used both his wrist and his grip on your neck as a brace, swinging your leg up and connecting your foot beneath his jaw. His fingers unfurled and your body came crashing to the pavement. You landed flat on your back, coughing and gasping for air. 

The ginger terror was looming over you with a rather excited look on his face—was he actually starting to get hard right now?! You didn't even know someone could get turned on by fighting alone. Then again, with all the other kinks out there, it didn't seem that unrealistic.

"Hisoka, stop!" Your raspy voice cried out, "you win, okay!"

That seemed to shock him out of whatever had just taken over him. The darkness in his eyes drained away and he assumed a more relaxed pose. Okay, no more fighting Hisoka. That is, if you could avoid it. There's a good chance that he might be the one to challenge you someday.

"Throwing in the towel already?" He asked, raising an arched brow. "And just when I was beginning to get excited too. You're such a tease."

"And you're insane, holy shit." You laid your head back, doing your best to recover. Now that you thought of it, he hadn't even really hit you. All he did was choke you, yet he managed to do so much damage already. "I knew you'd be strong, but I didn't think you'd be this strong."

"You really do have no idea," he chuckled as he extended his hand to you. You accepted it hesitantly, half expecting him to try some other bullshit. Thankfully, he actually took mercy on you and you allowed him to pull you back on your shaking legs, still weak from oxygen deprivation. His arm wrapping around your waist was the only thing that kept your body from crashing back to the ground. "Well, are you satisfied?"

"With the result of the fight? Not at all." It was the truth. You hated losing—most people did. However, with the incredible gap of strength between the two of you, you didn't think you'd be ready to fight him again anytime soon. At least now you had something to strive for. 

"God, now my neck's gonna be all bruised from your big, stupid hand." You tried to swallow, but found it a bit difficult with the ache that had settled in your throat. You rubbed at the skin, glancing at him with a concerned look. "You could've killed me."

Now that you weren't worried about trying not to die, you could revel in his touch. His hand gripping your waist, you leaning into the side of his toned form, it almost made a smile come to your lips. You shook your head. The clown just choked you out, yet you were already making heart eyes at him...yeah, maybe you had your issues too.

"That's not the only thing that'll be bruised, dear," his fingers dug into your side, pulling you closer than you thought you could be. Dammit, why did he have to say things like that? "Oh, don't look so concerned. I'd _never_ kill my favorite toy."

Excuse you, his favorite _what?_ You should be alarmed by him being so possessive, but his words alone only managed to make knots twist in your lower half. There was no clever retort to that one. Just pure silence.

"Now then, are you ready to get a room? I'm not sure how much longer I can wait."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Hisoka might be a bit OOC since I imagine he'd probably want to kill anyone from his past/avoid them completely. They'd have too much information, y'know? Or he'd forget about them as well. However, this story's been rattling around in my noggin for far too long to just let it slip away.


	2. First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow-burn? Never heard of her. I only know rushing straight to the porn.

You followed behind Hisoka to the room he had booked for the night. It was the longest walk of your entire life. Not only did you know exactly what he was intending to do to you, but you were also about to lose your virginity. Would he be too rough and actually hurt you? He seemed pretty worked up and he had demonstrated that he struggles to restrain himself.

As soon as you entered the room, you shut the door behind you. You lingered there while Hisoka walked towards the bed, removing the pink wraps around his arms and wrists. As he slipped off his heels, he glanced over at you, realizing that you hadn't followed him to the bed.

"What is it?"

"Uh, well you see, it's just..." of course this was going to be awkward as hell. There was no doubt in your mind that he had plenty of experience by now. What if you were bad? What if he lost interest? He always knew when you were lying, so there was no point in doing so about something like this. "I've never, well, you know."

He was silent for a moment while your eyes were locked with the ground.

"You've never had sex? I must admit, I'm surprised," he finally said. "Were you saving yourself for someone special?"

"No," you glanced up at him briefly to see that stupid grin on his face, "if I was, I certainly wouldn't be willing to let you take it."

"Oh how you wound me," he held his hand to his chest and feigned offence. As he walked towards you, your eyes left him again.

An amused chuckle left his lips as his hand met your chin, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. Those yellow eyes of his always held an intensity to them like no other person you had ever met. Sometimes, you thought you could stare at them forever and never get tired of his face.

"Don't worry, dear, I'll be gentle. I promise."

You had the sneaking suspicion that he was lying. However, he _had_ said that he wouldn't break you.

"There isn't a gentle bone in your body," you immediately retorted.

His smirking face drew in closer and closer to yours. His lips met yours again and you leaned into the kiss, your hands resting on his chest. This time, the anger had truly melted away and you allowed yourself to relax in his hold. His other hand rested on your lower back, sliding down and squeezing the curve of your ass. He pulled you flush against his form and you could feel his cock hardening once more against your belly. Something about this felt completely right, like he was the only one who was supposed to do this to you, despite what you had just said.

The movements of his lips were gentle, just like he said he would be. Still dominant, but not overwhelmingly so. His tongue pressed against your lips and you let him in, gripping at his shirt and following his lead. Arousal coiled inside you, twisting tighter and tighter, making you crave more.

Hisoka's other hand left your face and instead found its place on the back of your lower thigh. Without warning, you were hoisted into the air. You wrapped your legs around his torso in response and your arms around his neck, intentionally grinding on his dick as you did so. The moan that left his lips made you want to tease him even more. He pulled back and looked at you with half lidded eyes clouded with arousal.

"I can't wait to fuck you," he stepped away from the door and carried you to the bed, dropping you onto it. You kicked off your shoes as well as your socks. In an instant, he was between your legs again. "You're _mine_."

The way his voice dropped and rumbled in his chest was enough to send shivers through your body. Hisoka had never struck you as the possessive type, but with the way he was looking at you now, you really were his—whether you wanted to be or not. That predatory look in his eye made you feel like he was the hunter that had finally captured his prey. He was ready to devour you.

His hands slipped below the hem of your shirt, sliding upwards towards your chest. You leaned into his warm touch, savoring the feeling of his sharp nails dragging across your skin. As his hand dipped beneath your bra and settled on your breast, squeezing at the soft flesh, his lips met yours once more. He was more passionate this time and moved at a quicker, more forceful pace. With his erection pushing against you, you wondered how much longer he could hold out. Hisoka could be stubborn and persistent, but he was still a man. How long could he deny himself?

You draped your arms over his neck, wanting to pull him as close to you as he could possibly be. Years. You had spent years pining over this bastard. As he broke the kiss, you just admired him above you. The intensity of his eyes focused only on you, the overwhelming feeling of power he emitted, a tantalizingly attractive voice that fell and rose like a classical symphony, all of it was enough to keep you his captive for all this time. He wasn't perfect. In fact, he could be a fucking idiot at times...and an asshole. But he was your first love. Your only love. You weren't so deluded to think that he loved you back, but you could pretend he did, just for the night.

While you were making heart eyes at him, Hisoka had already gotten your shirt off and unclasped your bra. As it fell away and the cool air hit your skin, you immediately brought your arms to cover your chest.

"Why are you trying to hide?" his hands wrapped around your arms and pinned them beside your head. "You look perfect."

You looked away from him with a blush. Despite getting this far with him, it was hard to believe that this was real. With your neck exposed to him, his head ducked down and his lips met your sensitive skin, pressing open mouth kisses all the way down to your collar bone. You let out little whimpers as he did so, drunk on his kisses alone. You couldn't help but grind against him, forcing a low moan out of him as well. He flicked his tongue out, swiping it over the area before sucking hard. That was going to leave quite the bruise. Well, you were probably already going to have a hand shaped one on your neck because of him. Why not add more to the collection?

When he pulled back, the left-over saliva on your skin cooled rapidly, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. His hands finally let go of your arms. You watched as he pulled his own shirt off, marveling at the sight before you. You imagined, judging by his arms, that he was in pretty good shape, but this? He was fucking ripped. Each of his abdominal muscles was clearly sculpted with what looked like no body fat getting in the way. His pecks were just as built and you could see the muscle lining his ribs. And down by his hips, he had a clearly defined V trailing down to beneath the waist band of his pants.

"Oh my god," you reached your hand out and placed it on his bare chest, "you used to be a little twig. What happened?"

"I take it you're impressed." He chuckled, placing his hand over yours as it trailed over his abs too. "You're like a child exploring another's body for the first time."

"Shut up," you tried to pull your hand away, but he wouldn't let you.

"You can touch me wherever you like," he guided it further down, past his waist and over his pelvis. He pressed your palm over his length, wrapping your fingers around it. Your flushed cheeks only seemed to grow ever hotter. You averted your gaze. "but I'd much prefer if you did so here."

"Do you know what you're doing to me?" He moaned, closing his eyes and leaning back as he stroked himself with your hand through his pants. "Oh but not yet. It's too soon."

He withdrew your hand and looked back at you. Cupping your chin, he turned your head to face him.

"Eyes on me, dear. You wouldn't want to miss the show, would you?"

The show? Just what did he—he moved back, hooking his fingers underneath the waistband of your pants. Your breath hitched and you grabbed his wrists almost immediately. What if he didn't like what he saw? Maybe you weren't ready for this after all.

"What's wrong?" He asked in a genuinely confused tone.

"Do the lights have to be on?"

It took a second for what you said to register, but he seemed to understand what you meant. He tilted his head down and let out a little chuckle.

"I want to see you," he said, yellow eyes meeting yours once more, " _all_ of you."

His voice left no room for debate and you let go of his wrists. You knew better than anyone that you couldn't stop him from getting what he wanted. Plus, you really didn't want him to tear them off of you instead. The fabric slipped down your legs, exposing your bare skin to him. The only protection you had left was your panties and by the way he was eyeing them, you doubted they'd be on for much longer.

His hands met your knees and he pushed your legs further apart, dipping his face in between them. He squeezed gently at your inner thighs. Each touch sent a twinge of pleasure straight to your clit, leaving you aching for more. You wanted him so badly now that your inhibitions were slipping away.

His fingers gripped at your panties, dragging them off of your hips and downwards slowly. As they slipped further and further down, you watched the way he seemed to sink further into his arousal. Almost as soon as they were off, he was spreading you apart and leaning in. The warmth of his tongue against your clit was enough to make you whimper, all while his yellow eyes didn't move from yours for a second. You could see the desire brimming in them, the intent to turn you into a desperate, drooling mess, aching and begging for him to finish you off.

The way his tongue swirled around your clit at just the right pressure pushed you towards the edge, your arousal climbing ever higher. Never, in all your life, had something felt _this_ good. Not those nights spent alone, thinking about what he could do to you, or the times when you'd touch yourself and imagine it was him. Nothing compared to the real deal. Each movement of his tongue jolted your body like electricity running through your veins. Your nerves were set ablaze and your legs were trembling from the intensity. You threaded your fingers through his hair, holding on for dear life.

You were close, so painfully close to the greatest orgasm of your entire life when he cruelly moved away.

"Hisoka," your voice came out as a pathetic whine, "please don't stop."

"Mm, I love the sounds you make when you're desperate," he said, sliding his finger down towards your entrance. "I haven't had enough of them just yet."

His index finger sunk inside of you, curling upwards. The length of it allowed him to reach farther than yours ever could. The contact was better than nothing, but you still wished he'd just shut the fuck up and go back to eating you out. Of course, if you voiced these thoughts, he might stop completely.

"But you said—"

"That I'd be gentle. I didn't say that I'd be kind."

What did that mean? Was he going to edge you until you begged him to give you your release? The thought did frighten you a bit. How long was he willing to do this for? Hisoka could be incredibly patient sometimes. Before you could even protest, his finger picked up speed and his tongue was back where he started, teasing you and edging you further. With the combination of his tongue and finger, you were brought back to the brink of pure bliss. This time, the need was almost painful. Just as you were about to come, he stopped once more as if he could sense it approaching.

"I can't take anymore! _Please—_ " It was the truth. You were in overstimulation hell and you just wanted it to be done.

"Tell me exactly what you want me to do to you."

"You already know what it is! It's obvious," you snapped.

"I'm not a mind reader. How can I continue when I don't know what you want?"

Asshole.

"God, I fucking hate you."

"Ah ah ah," he wiggled a finger at you, "bad girls get nothing. I could just stop right now."

"No!" While you didn't think he would stop, you wouldn't put it past him. He mentioned that he stopped himself from fucking you when he was younger. He could probably hold back now.

"Then tell me how I should proceed."

"I want," you paused, hating that you were giving into him, "I want you to eat me out again, like before."

"Oh, is that all?"

Of course he would make this harder than it has to be.

"No! I want you to let me cum this time. Please. I need you."

"Good girl," he purred, "see, was that so hard?"

 _Yes_ , it was. You held your tongue this time in fear that he would tease you even more.

He took mercy on you and resumed, his movements faster and more forceful this time. You could barely keep yourself still, your legs shaking once more and your hips pressing towards him. The pressure climbed and climbed until finally it burst in one climatic release. Your body was wracked with shudders and needy moans left your lips. Never in your life had you ever orgasmed so intensely.

As you finished and laid still on the bed, you heard the stirring of fabric and looked back up at him. Oh. You had almost forgot about what he intended to do from the very beginning. You couldn't help but stare at his freed cock dripping with precum. That looks like it's gonna hurt. Your slight fear was back.

"Hisoka, wait, I'm—" You looked back up at him, your body tense and your heart rate rising, "will it hurt?"

You knew it was a stupid question. Of course it was going to hurt, but you didn't know if Hisoka had ever taken someone's virginity before. It was almost like a test, to see if he really knew what he was doing. You still had a hard time believing that he could be gentle.

"Only for a moment," he assured you. He was confident in his answer, that much you could see, but you were still afraid. He seemed to sense your hesitation. "Don't you trust me?"

"Not even a little bit," your breath hitched as soon as he climbed between your legs. Oh god, okay it's happening. Stay calm. You had to get it over with at some point. Why not him? Even though you literally just denied it, you did have _some_ trust in him.

"A wise decision." The tip of his cock pressed against your entrance. You tried to move away, but one hand planted on your hip wouldn't allow it. "You don't expect me to stop now, do you? It wouldn't be very fair of you to leave me aching for more when you've already orgasmed."

You realized then that no matter what you said, he wasn't going to stop. Not now. If you refused, he might rescind his offer to be gentle. Really, it was just your nerves getting the better of you. You wanted him.

"I know," you said, taking a deep breath, "it's like ripping off a band-aid. You just gotta get it over with."

A very long, strong, and painful band-aid. Hisoka's hand met your cheek. His touch was gentle, tender even, so much so that it took you by complete surprise. It was moments like these that made you fall deeper in love with him, only for him to rip them away and remind you why it would never work. But this time, he didn't. He leaned towards your face with a smile and pressed the most saccharine kiss to your lips. Your hands laid on his shoulders and you melted into it, living purely in the moment. You weren't afraid.

He was pushing in slowly, yet bit by bit, it still felt like way too much. Even though you were still slick from your previous orgasm, the stretching burned and made you cry out. You jerked your head away from him.

"Stop stop stop!" You cried, your nails digging into his flesh hard enough to pierce his skin. He was only halfway in. Surprisingly enough, he did stop. "Just, wait a second please. Let me adjust."

"You have no pain tolerance, do you?" He chuckled, "you're only prolonging it, you know."

Despite the mocking, he didn't push in any further. You didn't actually think he'd go at your pace. Then again, how long was he willing to wait? He was right anyway. You were only prolonging the pain. You took in a deep breath.

"Keep going," you finally said.

"You sure about that?"

"Yes."

Hisoka started pressing in again and the pain only got worse. You squirmed beneath him, arching your back and gritting your teeth. You couldn't suppress the little whimpers that kept slipping out either. Your eyes were squeezed shut too as you tried to endure. Hisoka suppressed a shudder as lust rolled off of him. Of course he was enjoying your pain. Not only that, but the trash clown probably enjoyed the fact that _he_ was the cause of it.

Once he was up to the hilt he stopped, giving you a moment to adjust. It was strange seeing him be so considerate, but you supposed he would probably want to have sex with you again and didn't want to scare you off just yet.

He pulled back out a bit faster than he entered, giving you seconds of relief. And just like that, his cock was back inside of you, thrusting in and out at a slow pace. Your whimpers were turning into moans as you got used to the feeling of him inside of you. You imagined you'd probably be sore for a while after, but at least it was bearable now.

"I've waited so long for this," he whispered into your ear as he picked up the pace, a particularly deep thrust driving you into the bed. "I thought about taking you as soon as I saw you in the park."

You wanted to remind him that he almost _did_ take you and that it was you recognizing him that stopped him. But now wasn't the time for back talk.

With the perfect combination of his cock hitting your g-spot and his sultry words, the pleasure began to build once more. You dragged your nails down the muscles of his back, leaving red lines that colored his pale skin. He let out a soft moan, right in your ear. You dug your nails in harder this time and did it again, just to hear him make those pretty noises. He shuddered again, goosebumps rising on his skin. He was fucking you faster now, almost too fast. You should probably stop doing that.

"My name will be the only thing coming out of those pretty little lips by the time we're finished here." He was fucking into you harder now too. Pain mixed with pleasure as the pressure curled inside of you, your next orgasm approaching quickly.

Hisoka's lips smashed against yours, your teeth clacking against each other from the abrupt nature of it. His tongue pressed against your lips and you let him in, daring to fight back against him this time. The bed was rocking from the force of him and you felt as if you were be torn in two. With the kissing and the fucking, your senses were consumed by him and him alone. It was just the two of you now. You belonged to him.

You arched your back and your hips jerked upwards, your legs wrapped around him as he pulled back. You clung to him for dear life as your walls clenched around his cock. With an explosive release, you cried out his name, riding out the shockwaves of your orgasm for a second time. He wasn't there just yet, but he was close. His thrusts became more shallow and erratic and his cock twitched inside of you. A low moan left his lips. His release filled you to the brim, spilling out when he was finally finished and pulled out.

He stayed over top of you for a second, just observing you coming down from your high. You expected him to be a little out of breath, but he appeared to be perfectly fine. Though, you supposed you shouldn't be surprised. With a body like that, he had to have the endurance of the gods. He flopped down on the bed beside you.

From the sweat that had built up, coupled with his cum trickling down your inner thighs, you were in desperate need of a shower. You didn't have clean clothes, but that was a problem for morning you.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," you said after a bit, sitting up from your spot. Your body was sore from all that he had done to you today, from the fighting to the fucking. You'd love nothing more than to drift off into dreamland, but you couldn't sleep while feeling this dirty.

"I suppose I should do the same," He said, standing up as well. "Mind if I join you?" 

The smirk on his lips suggested that he was likely thinking about something less innocent than just a regular shower. Already? Shouldn't he need more of a cool down period? Maybe you were misreading him. You had a habit of doing that.

"What, do you wanna go another round or something?" You placed your hand on your hip. Had this not been your first time, you wouldn't mind being fucked by him again. At this point, though, you needed some time to heal.

"I imagine you're probably too sore. Otherwise, I'd be more than happy to."

"Wow, are you actually being _considerate_ for once? Who are you and what have you done with Hisoka?"

He chuckled at that, following behind you into the bathroom. You grabbed the towels and turned on the water, waiting for it to heat up.

"I told you, didn't I? Can't have you breaking just yet."

Your face heated up once more. Why did he have to say things like that? His voice could make something that should be creepy and a bit scary and turn it into something sexy. Okay, it was probably still creepy to literally anyone else, except for you. It wasn't fair.

"You always manage to take this piss out of me, don't you?" You hid behind sarcasm instead, ignoring his teasing. Wouldn't want him taking your bratty attitude as a challenge.

"Of course."

He stepped into the shower first, standing closest to the shower head. Upon closing the curtains behind you, you realized that his dumb, tall body was taking up all the water.

"Trade me spots."

"Why?"

"Because you're a million feet tall and you're stealing all the water."

"It's not _my_ fault you're tiny," despite his quips, he moved around you, purposefully brushing his chest against yours.

As he leaned closer to the shower head and your face to get his hair wet, you watched as it fell to his shoulders, his bangs hanging in his eyes. Seeing his hair like that instantly made him go from man to boy and you couldn't help the ghost of a smile appearing on your lips. It reminded you of him when he was younger.

"What is it?" He asked as he lathered up his hair. You did the same.

"It's nothing," you shook your head, looking up at him with nostalgia in your eyes. You missed those days at times. "It's just...with your hair like that, you look just like you did when we were younger."

For once, he wasn't sure how to respond to you. You savored those rare instances in which you made him speechless. It was quite the accomplishment. 

The two of you finished your shared shower without incident, surprisingly. You expected him to make some sort of pass at you, but he refrained from doing so. That is, until brushed passed him stepping out. His hand squeezed your ass as he reached past you for one of the towels.

"You just can't help yourself, can you?" Although your words were dismissive of him, you enjoyed him grabbing at you like that. However, you would prefer that he didn't do that in public. "Just because I let you fuck me, doesn't mean you get a free pass to grope me whenever you feel like it."

"Oh? And what will you do to stop me?" He challenged. As much as you hated to admit it, the clown did have a point. You weren't strong enough to stop him from doing anything. 

The thought did strike a bit of anxiety in you. Knowing that he could hurt you but most likely won't unprovoked should have calmed that fear, but he clearly had no problem in doing so. However, you were pretty confident that he _probably_ wouldn't kill you. The bar is in hell at this point.

"I hate you."

He just chuckled.

Now that you were in front of a mirror, you could see the hickies he had left on your skin, along with the bruising from him choking you earlier. Your towel covered up any other marks he had left elsewhere.

"You sure did a number on me." You extended your neck to get a better look at the damage. 

He approached you from behind with a towel clinging to his hips. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you against him. Judging by that smile and the way his eyes lingered on your neck in the mirror, he was proud of his work.

"I meant it when I said you belong to me," his lips pressed against the skin of your throat, leaving a trail of soft kisses before he stepped away. 

After drying yourself off, you laid back down on in the bed, curling up underneath the sheets. You were almost asleep when he returned to bed with you, turning off the all lights before slipping in behind you. His arm curled around your waist. He pressed his dick against your ass and it was at that point that you realized he probably wasn't going to let you go to sleep so easily. Still, you tried your best to ignore him. Responding would only serve to make his teasing worse.

You managed to keep it together, even when his hand reached up to cup your breast. However, as soon as his leg slipped in between yours and pressed up against you, you snapped.

"Hisoka, how am I supposed to sleep with you teasing me?" You tried to wiggle away from him, but just his arms and legs were like iron bars keeping you caged in. Dammit. Well, escaping wasn't an option.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm just trying to get comfortable."

You could practically hear him smiling.

"One of these days, I'll kick your ass."

"Sounds good to me." His hand that had been on your breast trailed back down to your waist and kept dipping lower and lower until it was nearly at your pelvis. You grabbed his wrist.

"You can fuck me in the morning, alright?" You tried to compromise with him, hoping that would make him stop. You were far too tired to deal with his shit right now.

"Very well."

You didn't like the way he agreed so easily, but nothing could be done about it now. Fortunately enough for you, he did stop his teasing and left his arm back on your waist. At this point, you were too tired to think much on it and without any other incident, you fell asleep.


	3. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parts of this were inspired by Sui Ishida's one shot about Hisoka's past. I know it's not technically canon, but I still think it's very interesting and well done. You guys should read it if you can!

All the kids in town knew him. Hisoka The Magician. He seemed like he could do anything, but his specialty was card tricks. You weren't sure when he picked you out of the bunch, but his eye always seemed to drift to you when he was performing.

You were curious about him too, but it went deeper than that of the other kids. You could see more white wisps flowing out of him than anyone else, even you. It reminded you of steam. No one ever believed you when you told them what you could see, so you just kept your mouth shut. For whatever reason, you had a feeling Hisoka might be able to see them too.

You were all out on the street one day, gathered around Hisoka like flies to a strip of honey. The sun shined in the clear, blue sky and people were walking down the sidewalks. Summer always went by too fast for your liking. That's when you saw him the most. He was still around as far as you were aware, but he liked to wander.

"The ace of spades," he said to you, "that was the one you picked."

"How did you do that?!" You exclaimed, staring at him in wonder. He was so damn cool.

"A great magician never reveals his tricks...but that's enough for today."

And after only a little whining, the other kids left to play as if nothing had ever happened here. Hisoka tucked the rest of his cards into his pocket, gathering up his supplies and intending to leave. Once he noticed that you hadn't left, he glanced up at you curiously.

"(Y/N), are you coming?" A friend asked from behind. You were supposed to go hang out with her at the park, but you wanted to stick with Hisoka for now. For a while, you had been wanting to be friends with him. You just weren't sure how to go about it.

"Maybe later." You didn't bother to turn around to look at her.

"Do you need something, (Y/N)?" He asked, pushing his red bangs out of his face.

His clothes were loose fitting like they had belonged to someone else and they often times had holes and grime built up on them. He was stick thin too, even gaunt at times. Back then, you either hadn't noticed or you just didn't care.

"Yeah, uh," you didn't really think about what you were going to even say to him. You twiddled your thumbs and looked down at the ground, trying to form words in your head. You didn't want to sound dumb in front of him. "I just...I wanted to know where you go after you're done with your tricks...and if maybe I could come with you."

You peeked up at him with a blush settling on your cheeks. He seemed confused at first and you were about to correct yourself, but he spoke before you could.

"I see. You want to hang out with me, yes?"

"Maybe."

"Why?"

The question caught you off guard. Why? What did he mean why?

"What?"

"Why do you want to hang out with me?"

You weren't really sure how to answer that. Why _did_ you want to hang out with him? None of the other kids did, not that you knew of anyway. Maybe they were just too shy to approach him. He _was_ five years older than you and even at age ten, you were still a bit nervous to approach him.

"Dunno," this was much weirder than you thought it was going to be. "I guess you're just kinda...cool or something."

You can't believe you actually admitted that to him. Was he gonna think that you're the weird one? Even worse, would he think you had a crush on him or something? No, you'd never ever have a crush on _him_. The others might make fun of you. His chuckling drew your attention back to him.

"You think I'm cool, huh?" He was pretty amused by that fact, that much was clear. "Alright. Come on."

You weren't sure where you expected him to take you, but a beat-up apartment building certainly wasn't it. The windows were stained and the fire escape was rusted, the sides of the building covered in graffiti. At first, you thought it might be abandoned.

"Still want to come?" He turned back to face you, raising a brow.

"I said I wanted to hang out with you, didn't I?" You sassed. At this point you were determined to see this through.

The magician smirked with intrigue. His eyes seemed to light up in a way that you had never noticed before. You didn't know what that look was or what it meant.

"Alright then."

Entering the lobby, you saw that the elevator looked like it hadn't been used in years. There was the distinct smell of mildew that refused to leave your nose. Clouded yellow lights lit up the hallway, the paint on the walls cracked and peeling. Man, this place was a dump.

You weren't sure where he was taking you, but the number of stairs you stepped up seemed to be endless. You didn't really want to be here, but you knew he probably wouldn't go anywhere else right now. Plus, you were too curious about why he brought you here in the first place.

"Here we are," he said, opening the door for you. Sunlight shined through the door and a breeze met your skin. This must be the roof.

"Are we allowed to be up here?" You asked.

Hisoka simply nudged you through the doorway. Well if he was doing it, then it was probably okay.

"Don't worry too much about the rules. They can always be changed to suit you."

That couldn't be farther from your truth. You parents had always taught you to be good and respect the people around you, so long as they respected you. The golden rule. Treat people the way you wanted to be treated, right? Breaking the rules didn't seem like it'd work with that.

Silence fell over the two of you, but it wasn't an uncomfortable one. You followed him as he sat by the edge, peering down at the street below. The people looked like ants from all the way up here.

You glanced over at the magician who was currently making a circle with his thumb and index finger. He closed one of his eyes and looked down at something on the ground.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting a better look at what's going on," he stated, not bothering to glance at you. He seemed to be pretty focused. "You can see a lot of things from up here, you know."

You mimicked what he was doing and made a circle with your own fingers, trying to see if it'd work for you. It didn't. No matter how hard you squinted, nothing seemed to change. When you heard him laughing, you dropped your hand and looked over at him. Was he just making that up to mess with you?

"It won't work for you."

"Why not?"

"Because your eyes aren't good enough."

" _Your_ eyes aren't good enough," you immediately mocked, crossing your arms over your chest. While it may have been true, it was still rude of him to say it like that.

"Not many people can do it," he said, shifting his focus back to the people on the street.

At least it wasn't just you. You looked over at him curiously, watching as the wind blew his bangs away from his face and his hand drop into his lap. Now that you were this close to him, you could really see the way the white wisps flowed from his body. It was calm, but steady and strong.

"Can you see them too?" You finally asked the question that's been on your mind.

"Them?"

"The white wisps that everyone has. It looks like steam."

His expression didn't change. He didn't look surprised by what you said at all.

"What makes you think I'd be able to?"

Wait, did he believe you then? He wasn't immediately telling you it was just your imagination or waving it off like everyone else used to.

"You have more than anyone else."

"How interesting," his lips curled into a smirk and there was a glint of amusement in his eye. "Yes, I've noticed that you have a bigger aura than most people as well. Not as big as mine, but you're still young."

Aura? So that's what it's called! And he could see it too, just like you! You were so glad you finally decided to approach him. Now you'd actually be able to talk about it without someone dismissing you.

"It's called...aura? How do you know?"

"Just an assumption, I suppose. Aura is the natural life force that every person has. So that's probably what this is." He gestured to his own aura.

"That makes sense."

The two of you sat together in silence for a moment. Even though you weren't really doing anything with him at the moment other than people watching, you still found yourself wanting to spend more time with him after this.

"No one's ever asked to hang out with me before. You're the first." He finally said. You were surprised to say the least. Well, kinda. He _was_ always alone, but you figured someone had at least _tried_ to be friends with him.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

He didn't seem sad over the fact that he didn't really have any friends. You imagined that Hisoka probably just hadn't met anyone cool enough yet.

"I hope you don't disappoint me, (Y/N)."

Was that a challenge? That sounded like a challenge.

"I won't! I'll be the best-friend you've ever had!" you asserted with the utmost confidence. Hisoka just laughed. From then on, it felt like you had to do everything you could to prove to him that you were a good friend.

Even after that, you didn't see him all that much. He'd come and go as he pleased, always looking for something new. When he did come around, you would be at his beck and call as much as your parents allowed. You didn't have the chance to spend time with your other friends when you were with him. He wasn't interested in them and he always wanted your full attention.

During your time with him—spread across only a few years—your crush developed rather quickly, no matter how hard you tried to ignore it. Towards the end, he would always rest his hand on your shoulder or hip and occasionally grab you by the waist, only serving to make thing so much worse. Hisoka knew exactly what he was doing. He had to. With how perceptive he was, you had no doubt he could tell you had a crush on him. Even so, he was probably doing it just to mess with you. You had seen him go after other guys and gals he was interested in and he was far more aggressive. And then, afterwards, he'd leave them as if they meant nothing to him. 

You didn't want that to happen to you. And that's why you'd swat at his hand or move away from him whenever he did those things. You'd tell him to stop or that he was being stupid, but that only seemed to encourage him. 

Despite all of his...less than savory traits, the way your heart fluttered whenever he touched you never seemed to stop. Was it really your fault though? Even as a teenager, Hisoka seemed so confident in himself. That confidence was what got him into the circus.

The circus. The beginning of the end. You were excited when he asked if you wanted to come to the circus with him to observe the performances. You said sure. Why wouldn't you? It's not like you had anything better to do and it'd be interesting enough to watch. He helped you sneak in so you wouldn't have to bother with tickets or needing an adult with you.

The lights all shined down on the center stage where everything was happening. Lions jumped through flaming hoops, trapeze artists flipped through the air, there was a lady swallowing swords. So much was going on all at once. As the opening performance continued, Hisoka pointed at the guy juggling torches.

"I could do that," he said. You thought he might be joking with you at first, but the sincerity of his voice told you otherwise.

"What, do you already juggle or something?" You dismissed him. If that show-off could already juggle, he would've done so for you by now. Hisoka could do a lot of impressive things, but you doubted he could replicate a trick by just watching how it's done.

"No."

You rolled your eyes.

"You're such a liar. There's no way unless you've already been practicing."

The corner of his lips quirked up and his eyes narrowed. Oh no. You knew that look all too well. That was the look he always had when someone challenged him. It was his equivalent of saying "just you wait."

"Hey," you tried to snap him out of it by pushing on his shoulder, "Hisoka, whatever you're planning, stop right now."

Pointless. Even if his expression fell back into a more neutral state, you knew this wasn't over. It was only a matter of time before something happened. Ugh, you hated when he got like this. He could be so goddamn persistent and driven. At times, that was great! Hell, it was even admirable. But most of the time it usually got him into unnecessary trouble, trouble that he would often talk or fight his way out of. Still. You would prefer if he'd stop making so many enemies.

You focused back on the show. If you ignored him, maybe he'd decide not to do whatever was going on inside that head of his. You doubted it, but maybe you'd be lucky this time.

"Now, I need a volunteer from the audience!"

Fuck. 

His hand on your thigh, squeezing at the inside of it distracted you only for a moment. As much as you wanted to welcome the touch, you couldn't. You shoved his hand off of you. You couldn't afford to forget about what the ringmaster had just asked for.

Hisoka stood with the smuggest smile on his face. You grabbed his arm to try to make him stop, holding on as firmly as you possibly could. You knew it was futile, but you had to try something.

"Sit down!" You hissed, trying desperately to avoid the ringmaster's gaze. Unfortunately, your flailing had the opposite effect. "I believe you, okay?!"

"You there!" He called, pointing directly at the two of you. Of course he would. "The boy with the red hair! Come on down."

"Goddammit, Hisoka. I really hate you sometimes." You released him begrudgingly. No stopping him now. "I hope you get burned. It'd serve you right."

That was a lie and he knew it. The last thing you wanted was for him to get hurt.

"No you don't." With a confident smile, he strolled down to the stage. He was going to get himself killed one of these days, you just knew it.

"What's your name kid," the ringmaster tried to ask, but Hisoka went straight to the juggler.

You couldn't hear what he was saying from down there, but you watched the way the juggler recoiled from him. He was shaking his head, but Hisoka must have said something that made him stop. As the older man squared his shoulders, you thought for sure he was about to deck Hisoka right then and there in front of everyone. The magician did tend to bring that out in people. Fortunately or unfortunately—depending on how you looked at it—the juggler shoved the lit torches towards Hisoka, despite the ringmaster shaking his head.

Your eyes widened as he faced the audience and began to replicate exactly what the juggler had done. He even seemed to add his own pizzazz to the act. How the fuck was he even doing this?! Not only was he doing the same act perfectly, he even seemed to be improvising some moves as well. As he moved with mesmerizing fluidity and grace, he looked straight at you.

He tossed the torches back to the juggler and the crowd clapped at his little display. Without another look backwards, he left the performers stunned and returned to his seat next to you, though this time he sat closer to you.

"Well, are you impressed? The look on your face seems to say so."

"What did you say to him?" While you were absolutely stunned by his performance, you weren't about to praise his risky behavior.

"Oh nothing really," he shrugged, his eyes following the juggler who was walking off stage, "just that, with his complete lack of skill, I knew I could do better than him. I may have also threatened him a bit."

"You're an asshole," you crossed your arms over your chest. "You've really never juggled before?"

"Would I ever lie to you?"

"Yes! You do so frequently!"

The rest of the show seemed dull in comparison to what he had pulled off. It was like he was made for this, made to perform. You almost wanted to see just what else he could do, but you were worried about him taking it too far. As far as you were aware, the guy had no limits.

"You there!" A male voice called behind the two of you as you were walking out of the tent. The performance came to a close and you had been planning to go back home. You turned around to see that it was the ringmaster. Oh shit, what now? "What you did out there was impressive, so impressive that my juggler just quit!"

"My apologies," Hisoka placed a hand on his chest with feigned sincerity.

Wow, he made a man quit? You felt a little bad for challenging him now. However, you were more curious why the ringmaster even approached the two of you. Shouldn't he be angry? Wait, if he was impressed, maybe he was about to offer Hisoka a position! They did have a vacancy now.

"How long have you been juggling?"

"About a month or so."

You looked over at him curiously. What point was there to lying about something like this? Well, you supposed that the man would think he was full of shit just like you did.

"You managed to do all that after only a month?" He was shocked, that much was clear. "My, you're quite talented indeed...oh, I never did catch your name."

"Hisoka the magician," he took a bow, "nice to meet you."

"A magician too? You'll have to show me some of your tricks," the man smirked. "What would you say if I offered you a spot in my show?"

"It sounds interesting."

He meant it, that much was obvious. From what it sounded like, Hisoka might very well just end up in the circus after all.

"Meet me here next Friday if you decide to join. I hope that you will."

And just like that, Hisoka was now a performer. Seeing him go from those worn out clothes to costumes in just a few months nearly gave you whiplash. He had started painting a star and tear drop on his face that corresponded with whatever outfit he was wearing. The tight shirt, followed by the loose-fitting, but clean pants suited him perfectly. It was like his clothes finally matched his eccentric personality. You'd be lying if you said you didn't find the change attractive. However, Hisoka himself hadn't changed one bit.

The only thing that really shifted was how little you saw him. It was even less than before. You'd get an invitation in the mail from time to time that would only tell you a location and that's it. You went every single time. Even to this day, you still remember the last show he ever did. He was perfect, as always, and that night's show seemed to be particularly big. Thousands of people filled every inch of the building, as far as you could see.

The two of you met up on the balcony of the building they performed in. Parts of it were torn up like a huge fight took place and left it in shambles. Hisoka was near the edge, peering out at the city down below. He seemed almost...agitated, unstable. You had never seen him like this before. Maybe you should just leave him alone. No. No, you had to make sure he was alright. Besides, if he didn't want to see you, he would have left already.

"Hisoka, what happened here?" You ran up to him, grabbing him by the shoulders to turn him towards you. Your eyes glanced over his form. He appeared to be just fine, minus a few scratches. Had he...had he gotten into a fight or something?

There was something dark stirring in his eyes, like he was just barely keeping his composure. You stepped back. 

"Why don't you go see for yourself," he pointed towards the edge of the balcony.

You eyed him curiously. Just what was he up to? What was important enough for him to point out? You wandered toward the back of the balcony where it connected with the wall, feeling Hisoka's eyes locked on your form. At first glance, you didn't see anything there, but when you looked closer, you saw the face of a man peeking out beneath the rubble. Actually, it looked more like a mask, but that wasn't the important part. You noticed that there was a pool of blood surrounding him, likely resulting from the rocks crushing him. This man was clearly dead.

"Oh my god," you covered your mouth, stepping away from the scene. You ran into something solid. Familiar hands landed on your shoulders, spinning you around to face him. You looked up at Hisoka.

"Who—who is that?" You pointed to man in the corner, surrounded by the rubble. "Is he—I mean, did you—"

"I did," the young magician smiled, running his hands down your shoulders to your arms. They slipped onto your waist, pulling you flush against his form. "What's wrong? Are you scared of me now?"

You struggled to come up with words. His touches still wound you up like nothing else could, but his actions and his words struck fear into you for the first time. Sure, he could be an asshole and yes, when his mouth got him in trouble with others, he could fight them easily, but you had never been worried about him hurting you. You were more worried about him leaving you than anything.

"I'm sure you had a good reason," although you tried to justify it, your hands on his chest still tried to push him away. "Hisoka, please let me go."

"What if I killed him out of cold blood? What would you do then?" He smirked down at you, knowing damn well that you both couldn't and wouldn't do a damn thing. 

Wind rushed past you and suddenly you were shoved against the wall, your arms pinned by your head. He leaned in so close that your lips were almost touching. Some messed up part of you wished they would connect.

Just what the hell had gotten into him? You didn't bother to struggle. He was significantly stronger than you physically and his aura was more powerful now as well, more refined. Something must've happened since the last time you saw him.

You took in a deep breath and stilled yourself, a confident look in your eye. He was testing you or something, testing to see what you would put up with. You refused to believe he did it just because he felt like it. You couldn't accept that your best friend would do something like that.

"I don't think it was premeditated. You wouldn't have made this big of a mess if it was," your tone was relaxed, and your gaze was focused solely on him. "Was it self-defense? Did he attack you?"

He raised a brow, his smile growing wider. He released your arms from his grip and instead planted his hands on the wall by the side of your head, caging you in.

"Well, you're more astute than I thought. Yes, I suppose you could say that's what happened. Besides, I was doing everyone a favor. He _was_ a serial killer after all."

"A serial killer?" There's no way. Why would Hisoka be targeted by a serial killer? Wrong place, wrong time?

Now that he wasn't trying to threaten you, you wondered why he was still standing so close to you...and why weren't you telling him to back off?

"He was the leader of this show too. He tried to kill me when he thought I might steal his spot."

"You could've just told me that in the beginning, you know?" You glared at him, crossing your arms over your chest. "You can step back now."

"That takes the fun out of it," he smiled, "do you really want that, (Y/N)? Your body is saying otherwise."

His hands cupping your cheeks took you by surprise. What was he doing? His lips drew closer and closer and he stared down at you with half-lidded, yellow eyes. If you leaned closer, you could've kissed him. No, this wasn't right. This wasn't how this was supposed to happen. You looked down and pushed his hands away.

"I'm not gonna kiss you in front of a dead guy," you asserted. "Shouldn't we call the cops? To tell them about the body?"

"I don't have the time or patience to deal with the police." He finally stepped away from you, giving you some room to breathe. "You can do as you please."

Something told you that Hisoka very well might do to you what he did to that man if you said a word about him to the cops. Maybe you were just freaked out from seeing a mangled corpse and over analyzing Hisoka.

"I won't mention you," you told him. You wouldn't want to get him in trouble. It's not like the man didn't deserve it—if Hisoka wasn't lying.

"Good. Then we're done here." He turned his back on you, walking over towards the edge. "So long."

In one fluid motion, Hisoka jumped over the edge. You ran after him, peering over it at the ground down below. You didn't see him anywhere, not even running off in the distance. His presence was hidden as well. He just...disappeared.

You didn't know it in that moment, but that would be the last time you'd see him for another five years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's probably not as much of a shithead in this chapter as canon Hisoka would've been at this age, but oh well. It be like that sometimes.


	4. Massacre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl, the spanking was purely self indulgent. Oops exposing my kinks. Ahem anyway.

_What's wrong? Are you scared of me now?"_

A soft whimper escaped your lips.

_"What if I killed him out of cold blood? What would you do then?"_

Your body tensed.

_"Good. Then we're done here."_

Your fingers gripped at the white sheets beneath you.

_"So long."_

You awoke from your dreams with a jolt, the dead face of that man resurfacing. You didn't know how you managed to forget that Hisoka actually killed someone albeit out of self-defense. However, he was just a kid then. He wasn't like that now...hopefully.

You were about to ask him about it when you felt him behind you, his fingers already toying with your clit. What the fuck? What did he do to you while you were sleeping?

"Finally awake, are we?" He asked in the most nonchalant way, as if he wasn't fingering you at this very moment. He didn't even stop while he was talking either. "You make the prettiest sounds when you're asleep."

"Hisoka, what are you doing?" You struggled to form words, both from the morning grogginess and the arousal from his touch.

"Isn't it obvious? You gave me permission to fuck you in the morning, but you didn't specify when."

Now that you were starting to wake up, you noticed how warm your skin was and the way your heart rate was rapidly increasing. How had he managed to get you so close without waking you? And of course, he stopped as soon as you were awake in favor of climbing on top of you.

"Why don't we go to my apartment instead?" You offered, not particularly fond of this sleazy hotel. You hadn't been sure about whether or not you should tell him where you lived. Hell, you still weren't, but at least you could be as loud as you wanted to in the comfort of your own home.

"You sure you want to keep me waiting?" He raised a brow. "My restraint might waver."

You knew full well that he would use this as an excuse to be rougher. In all honesty, you weren't sure whether or not you could handle it. But it's f i n e. Hopefully.

"It's good to have some patience sometimes," you patted his cheek like he was just a little kid. "Now get off. I'll go bug the secretary or something for some toothbrushes and toothpaste before we go. I don't want to kiss you with my morning breath."

"Fine."

After getting dressed and getting the toothbrushes, you came back to see that Hisoka had already slicked back his hair and applied his makeup. Where did he even get hair gel to do so? Actually, where did he get makeup? Whatever. It didn't matter.

"You ready?" You finally asked once you were finished getting around.

"I've been waiting on you."

"Whatever," you rolled your eyes, "let's go."

____________________

When Hisoka said he'd probably lack restraint this time around, he really meant it. As soon as the two of you stepped inside and he closed the door behind him, he was upon you. You were bent over the nearest table before you could even process what was happening. Your pants and panties were tugged down so fast that you were shocked they didn't rip.

"Wait, I'm not ready yet," you knew that if you weren't warmed up, this would hurt a lot more than it needed to. And Hisoka seemed like he wanted to be rough today.

"Don't worry, (Y/N), I'm more than aware of your limits" he purred. "I intend to take my time. You don't have anywhere to be, do you?"

Take his time? Did he mean he was gonna edge the shit out of you again? You really hoped not. Knowing him, that sounds exactly like what he is planning to do. He probably got some sort of enjoyment out of making you beg and moan. You would never admit it, but you did cum a lot harder after he made you wait for it. And something carnal in you craved him taking control like this. You would sooner rip out your tongue than admit that to him though. Not like he needed the ego boost.

Even though you didn't have any other plans for today, you knew he wouldn't let you get to them if you did. No, when he wanted your attention, there was no time for anyone or anything else.

"No, but I doubt you'd let me go anywhere if I did."

He responded with a chuckle and a small grin. You may not be able to read his emotions at times, but you certainly recognized his habits by now.

Hisoka didn't waste any time before his fingers slipped inside you, picking up just where he had left off when you awoke this morning. With movements that were controlled and precise, it didn't take long for you to get all worked up again. Soft moans were leaving your lips and you leaned into his touch. God, he was good at this. Unsurprisingly, he didn't let you orgasm so easily. 

"Hisoka, please don't do this to me again," you whined, looking back at him with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster. A tactic like that would never work on him, but hey, a girl's gotta try.

"I love it when you beg," he cooed, pressing his hips against you. He was enjoying himself as well. "Very well. I'll make you a deal. I'll let you cum right now if you blow me after." 

He wanted you to suck his dick? It wasn't that shocking, it's just...you had never done it before. You imagined that it wouldn't be the best head he's ever gotten, so why did he want it from you?

"Wow what a deal," you hid behind sarcasm. It's not that you didn't want to. You just didn't want to disappoint him.

"I can keep you like this for hours, you know. On the brink of release without ever receiving it. Who knows, maybe I won't let you cum at all."

"No!" Oops, that came out a little more desperate than you intended. "It's just...I've never done that either. It won't be very good."

"I'd be happy to be the one to teach you."

"That doesn't sound like you," When you felt him start to pull away, you corrected yourself, "I mean thank you."

"I take it we have a deal then?"

"Yes."

True to his word, he continued. With the speed and just the right amount of pressure, Hisoka's fingers alone were enough to bring you to an abrupt, but intense release. You were thankful that he didn't tease you anymore, but now you had to return the favor. He stepped back from you, allowing you to readjust yourself. As you were about to pull your pants back up, he stopped you.

"No need for that. I plan to take you again after this. Why don't you take off the rest of your clothes as well? I'd much prefer to see you without them."

You stubbornly redressed your lower half anyway and crossed your arms over your chest.

"Make me," came out before you could stop it.

You didn't know what it was that gave you this strong desire to challenge him at every turn, but you just couldn't help yourself. Doing such a thing might be a bit reckless, especially knowing that you'd probably have to stop him from taking it too far.

"Challenging me after I asked so nicely?" The grin on his face stretched wider. "You're making it very difficult to control myself."

As he neared you, a fun little idea popped into your head. He liked it when you fought back, so what if you ramped up the fighting a bit? As long as you disguised it as playful, it shouldn't get him riled up enough to make him lose his composure. Yeah, you may have sworn off fighting him after he choked you out, but goddamit something about him made you want to try again.

Once he was in reach, you stepped away from him. Hisoka seemed to immediately realize what you were doing and tensed his body. You watched him carefully, waiting for his next move. If you had to guess, you'd say he would probably try to come directly after you, so you'd have to keep your distance or ward him off. Once his hands were upon you, it'd be game over.

As you expected, he stomped forward, lunging at you directly. What you hadn't anticipated was him disappearing completely. Where the fuck—behind you! You whipped around, finding him standing there with the smuggest smile on his face. You tried to kick him in the stomach, but he dodged your attack with ease. His hands latched onto your ankle. Fuck!

With a bit of upward force, he made you lose your balance, sending you flying to the ground. Before you could even think of a counterattack, he straddled you, his hands ripping your shirt, as well as your bra straight off your body, purposefully scratching your skin in the process. Following that, your pants and panties were the next to go.

"Now that your clothes are out of the way," he stood up again, his fingers grabbing the waistband of his own pants, "it's your turn to fulfill your end of the bargain."

You sat up, still wanting to fight back against him.

"What if I went back on our deal?"

Although you had no intention of doing so, you wanted to test the waters and see how he'd react.

He leaned down, taking you by the chin and pulling you onto your knees. His fingernails dug into your cheeks without breaking the skin. While there was still a smile on his face, you knew that he wouldn't let you avoid sucking his cock, whether it be by force or persuasion.

"Do you want to see how rough I can be? After you've only been fucked once?"

Staring at him with wide eyes, you shook your head as much as you possibly could while he was holding your chin like that. No, you knew you couldn't take that yet. You may have started to like the pain of being fucked the last time, but you'd prefer not to let an injury stop you from fucking him again while he was still available. There were still other things you wanted to try with him.

"Thought not."

He released his hold on you and instead tugged the waistband of his pants down so that his cock finally sprung free. You stared at it, not sure what to do. Should you just put your mouth on it and go for it? Or should you stroke it first? You looked up at him for direction.

"Give me your hand."

With his hand over top of yours, he wrapped your fingers around it, sliding your hand up and down at the base of it. His other hand met the back of your head, pulling you closer.

"Tease the tip of it with your tongue."

You opened your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip of it just like he said. Following that, you slid your tongue along the bottom of his cock, continuing to stroke what you couldn't take in your mouth as his hand left yours. Your free hand grasped his hip, digging your nails into it.

You weren't sure how it would taste, but it really was just skin. His cum, on the other hand, would be a different story. You had heard that it generally was bitter and salty, even though every man's apparently tasted a bit different.

Finally, you wrapped your mouth around it, continuing to use your tongue as your head bobbed back and forth, taking as much of him in as you could. The way his hand tangled in your hair, pulling at it hard enough to cause pleasurable pain that made you wish he'd pull harder, as well how he closed his eyes and little moans left his lips, you assumed you were doing a decent enough job. He seemed to particularly like it when you gagged.

"See, look at that," his yellow eyes met yours once more, "you're a natural."

His approval only made you more eager to keep going. You picked up your speed with both your mouth and your hand, eliciting a shudder from him. He was moving his hips now, starting to fuck your mouth as his hand urged you to go deeper. It wasn't long before you felt his dick twitch in your mouth.

"Yes, just like that. Don't stop."

You had the brattiest idea in your head right about now. How many times had he edged you? Too goddamn many. And he seemed to enjoy doing so. It was only fair to return the favor, right? You stopped completely, taking his cock out of your mouth.

"(Y/N)," his voice dropped as he stared down at you with half lidded eyes, "you're playing a dangerous game."

It was clear enough that he was warning you. With his hand on the back of your head still, he could easily fuck your mouth. You definitely didn't want that at this point. The two of you stared each other down, daring the other to make a move. Ultimately, it was you who acquiesced. You took his cock back into your mouth and this time, his grip on your hair was firmer.

"Good choice."

Picking up right where you left off, it wasn't long until you had him on the brink once more. His hips jerked and he leaned his head back, moaning your name and closing his eyes. Before you knew it his cum spilled down your throat, making you gag. The taste of it was salty, just as you thought it would he, but not enough so to make you nauseous. As soon as he finished, he pulled his rapidly softening cock out, his hand moving to your cheek.

"Well done, dear."

You blushed. You weren't sure why, but you enjoyed being able to make him feel good too. It almost made you feel like you had control over him, tempting you to edge him even more just like he did to you. Maybe you would actually do so if you ever ended up on top of him.

Now that you had a bit of reprieve, you knew that he would need a few minutes to recover. He pulled up his pants and you stood up, thinking about what you should do in the meantime. Now that you had experienced regular sex, you wondered what would come after this. Hisoka wouldn't want to fuck forever. He'd get bored and move on like he always did when he was with someone. It's the biggest reason you never gave in to him, so he would keep coming back to you, keep trying. But now it was too late. You were afraid that he would leave you too after this. Maybe that's why you should try something new, to try to keep his attention for as long as possible and to show him that you were open to experimenting.

It's not like there weren't certain things you had always wanted to try. He'd probably be into them. You didn't know yet whether or not you might be a masochist—seeing how you struggled managing the pain of being fucked for the first time—but you did enjoy him pulling your hair just now. And you thought you might have liked him choking you if you weren't afraid of him killing you accidentally. The idea of him dominating you further was too tempting to resist.

Asking him to hurt you more could lead to an unpleasant result if he couldn't hold back. Being unable to fend him off made the growing need swelling inside of you even worse. You had always imagined him taking control when you fantasized about what he could do to you. Something like this was one of the ultimate forms of giving up your power and instead giving him your trust.

"Hisoka," you finally mustered up the courage to ask him. Standing naked in front of him only made it worse. "There's something I've always wanted to try. You're probably into this kind of thing."

"Hm, what is it?"

"It's a little embarrassing," you looked anywhere but at him. God, this was harder to say than you thought. It would be easier if you just said it all at once, right? After a moment's hesitation, you finally blurted it out. "Willyouspankme?"

"Come again?"

He probably heard you, but he was playing coy just to make this harder on you. You asked him again, but slower this time.

"Will you spank me?"

He seemed taken back by the question, his eyes widening before a low chuckle left his lips. He covered his face with one hand while the other remained on his hip, his shoulders shaking as his laugh grew louder. You weren't really sure how to respond. The embarrassment only grew the longer he laughed. You were regretting asking.

"What's so funny," you snapped at him.

"You're so adorable." He peeked at you through his fingers before dropping his hand. "This is certainly unexpected. A virgin already wanting to move to something like this after only being fucked once. And here I was, concerned with scaring you off."

"Just forget it," you crossed your arms over your chest while you pouted. He really was an asshole.

"Yes, I'll spank you. How would you like me to do it?"

"What?"

"How would you like me to spank you?"

"With your hand?" 

You weren't really sure what he was asking.

"Would you prefer being bent over my knee or over a surface like a table?"

You'd definitely prefer over his knee. It was far more intimate than just being bent over a desk or something like that. However, he would have more control over you that way. Well it's too late now. You refused to back out.

"Over your knee, please," when had you become such a bottom bitch to him? Well a brat was probably more accurate, but still. Oh, you should probably have a safe word. "What's my safe word?"

"Aren't you polite right before you're about to be punished? Are you hoping I'll go easy on you?" He teased, pulling up a chair from the dining room. "You know about safe words already? My, you're more informed than I thought. We'll have to talk about other things you're interested in trying after this. And I suppose I'll share some of my own interests too."

His interests? You were curious what a sadist like him would want to do. Hopefully, he wouldn't want to do anything that violates your limits, but you imagined he might ask just to see how far you'd go.

"Your safe word is Bungee Gum."

You couldn't help but smile. Of course he would pick something like the name of his favorite chewing gum as a kid. It wasn't that surprising. It looked like he based a lot of his physical appearance on the wrapper of it.

He took a seat in the chair, curling his fingers towards himself, "now then, come here."

You walked over to him with a confident facade masking your anxiety—a facade that he could probably see right through—stopping when you were withing arm's reach. It was no surprise to you that he appeared to be a brat tamer, especially with the way he always encouraged you to fight him.

He pointed at his lap and you eased yourself onto it. His arm on your waist trapped you there.

"Why should I spank you, (Y/N)?" His hand squeezed at your ass, gentle touches making goosebumps rise.

"Because you're a sadistic asshole who—" an abrupt slap to your ass forced a gasp out of your mouth. With the force he used, you imagined there was already a handprint blooming on your skin. God, his hand felt like a fucking paddle or something.

"I'd watch my mouth if I were you, especially while you're in such a _vulnerable_ position."

It was incredibly hard not to be mouthy, but he was right. You're at his mercy. He doesn't have to let you up or even stop if you tell him to. You could only hope that he would. It might be stupid, but you trusted him enough to do so.

"Sorry," you begrudgingly apologized.

"Don't make me repeat myself."

"You should spank me because," why _should_ he spank you? You hadn't necessarily done anything worthy of punishment that you could think of, "because I asked you really nicely to?"

"Not good enough. Try again."

So, he was looking for something specific then. But what could it be? Sassing him at every possible opportunity? No, he liked that. Fighting him? He liked that too. What could it be? When had he actually seemed a little "mad?" Oh. Oh of course. Trying to edge him without being willing to accept the consequences.

"I edged you without your permission?"

"Very good. That's correct," he dragged his nails across the spot that hadn't stopped stinging yet. "And how many times do you deserve to be spanked?"

Hm. Another good question. Going too low would probably mean that he would give you more and hit you harder and you weren't sure where your limit is at.

"Fifteen?"

"Twenty."

Dammit. At least it was only five more.

"Okay fine. Twenty then."

"Count them aloud. If you miss one, I'll have to start all over."

Oh, so that's how this is going to be? Of course he would be as much of a dick as he could possibly be. You didn't really expect anything less. With his mocking tone, it took almost all of your will power not to sass him, but now wasn't the time for that.

With his hand gripping and squeezing at your skin, his fingers trailed dangerously close to your pussy. You weren't sure when he was going to start. He was teasing you, making the anticipation even worse than it already was. 

The first hit finally came. You grunted, being pushed forward from the impact. You thought he'd at least hold back a little bit, but it sure didn't feel like he was.

"One."

He repeated the same process of teasing you, almost enough so that you'd start to relax under his touch and then it came. The brutal hit of his hand. Fortunately for him and unfortunately for you, the size of his hands ensured that he covered plenty of ground with just one strike. You cried out each time he did so.

"Five."

The pain, submitting to him, his growing erection against your hip, all of it made you ache for more. Your whimpers turned into moans and you were pressing your hips into his lap.

"Enjoying yourself, are we?" Hisoka purred, curling his fingers inside of you. With slow movements, he toyed with you, making it difficult to focus, let alone speak. You were close again already. "I'll have to pick up the pace then. This _is_ supposed to be a punishment after all."

The hand that had been pleasuring you left, only to strike you once more. Drunk on the bliss, you failed to count this one out before the next hit came, right in the same spot. You arched your back, gripping onto his thigh for dear life. God, that one hurt.

"Oh dear, it looks like we'll have to start all over now."

"What?!"

You snapped out of it, whipping your head around to glare back at him only to be met with that shit eating grin of his. He _was_ doing it on purpose. That asshole was trying to distract you and make you lose composure so that he could start all over again. Now that you were looking at him, you could really see that he was enjoying this just as much as you, if not more. 

"You failed to count. It's only fair that I follow the rule you agreed to."

Yeah okay Mr. "I only follow the rules when it benefits me." Luckily with your head back down, he couldn't see you rolling your eyes. 

"Fine."

He was right in a way, even if he used some pretty cheap methods to make you break it in the first place. You wouldn't want him to break his agreement to stop if the safe word was called.

"Shall we resume?"

This time you would be stronger. You wouldn't lose focus like that, no matter how much he challenged you. It was about winning at this point.

The next hit came even harder than the last.

"One."

Even with his teasing this time, you managed to count out each hit before the next landed.

"Eight."

With his strength, you thought for sure that he very well might be bruising your ass the longer you allowed him to continue. There was no amount of skin untouched, from the curve of your ass, all the way down to your upper thighs. For someone who could be so impulsive at times, he was very thorough. 

"Thirteen."

The pain was really catching up to you now, overwhelmingly so. Your words were interrupted by your gasps and your eyes brimmed with tears. The sound of flesh against flesh was deafeningly loud, filling the otherwise silent apartment. God, you didn't dare to imagine what the other people in the building thought.

"Sixteen."

It was at this point that your resolve wavered. You wanted to win, even if he liked hitting you far more than he should—he would probably be more inclined to do so after this. You may not be able to physically defeat him, but you had to show him that you were strong somehow, show him that he wasn't unbeatable. The relentless teasing became easier to handle the longer he did so. It was the unbearable burning that you couldn't take much more of. It never seemed to _stop_. 

"Hisoka," you whined, clearly at the very edge of your limit "please."

"I'm not hearing your safe word."

Naturally, he wouldn't stop if you didn't say it. Hell, he might not stop even if you did. You were almost near the end of it anyway. Just have to power through the remaining four. He only waited for a few seconds just in case you did decide to call it out before he continued.

The next two strikes landed consecutively, only adding to the tears already streaming down your face.

"Eighteen." Your voice was strangled, but it still came out clear enough for him to hear.

"What a shame. We're almost done."

You knew he'd draw these last two out without letting you get relief from the pain. Even his gentle touches to already abused skin were too much.

Finally, much to your relief, the final two hits came.

"Twenty!" You cried out, falling limp in his lap. You were acutely aware of him rubbing circles on your back, such gentleness from him taking you by complete surprise.

"I'm surprised you were able to take that much."

"You didn't make it easy."

Your quip didn't have the same bite it normally had, but he seemed amused by it, nonetheless. You didn't bother protesting when he took you into his arms like a groom carrying his bride. You directed him to your bedroom. He set you on the bed, your body briefly recoiling when the fabric touched your sore skin.

You glanced over at Hisoka who had already taken off his clothes. Damn, that was quick. Oh, you realized what he wanted to do now.

"Hisoka, I don't know if I can—"

"Try to. For me."

Why did he always have to go and say things like that? He knew you couldn't resist. You leaned your head back and sighed, nodding for him to continue.

Hisoka pushed your legs apart and wasted no time pressing into you, skipping the teasing and the foreplay. Wow. Spanking you must've got him more worked up than you realized. Well, you had been rubbing against him each time you jolted forward, and he was the biggest sadist you knew.

This time when he entered you, it didn't hurt nearly as bad as the first time. You were still sore from yesterday, but it was almost like he was already aware of that. Hisoka? Being considerate? It's less likely than you think. Of course, it never lasted long. He went further in much faster than he did yesterday, all the way up to the hilt. In fact, you thought that your whimpers of pain might be encouraging him.

His thrusts were slow and deep at first, sending you rocking forward. You loved his little grunts and moans that would slip out occasionally. When he said your name as he fucked into you, that's when you couldn't get enough. Your body may be worn out, but you weren't done just yet. With his cock rubbing at just the right angle, another climax was steadily approaching. Hisoka didn't show any signs of slowing down. 

His breath fanned out onto the skin of your ear as he ducked his head down.

"You always feel so good. I don't know if I'll ever get enough."

His praise pushed you over the edge. The pure ecstasy of orgasm brought on by him intoxicated you, leaving you with an addiction for more. Hisoka wasn't far behind you in his own orgasm. You were thankful he didn't draw this one out after everything that had happened so far. As you came down from your high, you found that you were pretty beat. 

As soon as he laid down beside you, you curled up next to him, draping your arm over his chest.

"You're being so affectionate," he wrapped his own arm around you in response, glancing down at you. "If I'd known that placating you was as simple as spanking you, I would have done so years ago."

"I never would have let you."

He just chuckled.

You traced the outline of his abs with your finger, laying your head on his chest and listening to the slow beat of his heart. You couldn't help wanting to draw him closer to you. Whether it be with his sweet nothings whispered into your ear, or the way his skin felt against yours, he always left you needing more from him. You were thankful that something had brought that two of you together again. Fate or coincidence, you didn't really care. He was here. You were going to make the most of it.

____________________

Initially, you hadn't been sure when Hisoka would want to hang out again, if at all. He said he'd text you whenever that was. And yes, maybe you ignored him sometimes, but that man wanted to fuck you all the time, no matter how inconvenient it was for you.

The things he wanted to do with you weren't as unpleasant as you thought they would be. You didn't mind when he tied you up. After he choked you a second time, you realized that you were kinda into it after all. However, you did tell him no to knife play, even if he did ask you really nicely. He got a lot rougher too. In fact, you couldn't believe how gentle he had been your first time compared to how he fucked you now. You did eventually need a break from being so sore. The fact that he listened to you was probably the most shocking thing about this to you.

In the meantime, he sent you literally whatever he was thinking about when he was bored. Sometimes he wanted to talk on the phone and he wouldn't let you go for hours. You had forgotten how intense of man he was and at times, you needed a bit of space to recharge. Plus, you actually had to work to support yourself. The world runs on money. Unless you could pass the hunter exam, you'd probably be working until you die.

During your time away from Hisoka, you had, unfortunately, forgotten what happens when you ignore him for too long. You only made the mistake once when you were kids. You had settled in for the night, all nestled in underneath your covers after a hard day's work. Just as you were drifting off into sleep, you swore you felt something watching you. Under normal circumstances, you would've ignored it, but this skin-crawling feeling wouldn't leave.

As you opened your eyes, you saw the black silhouette of a man standing over you. Before you could open your mouth to scream, a hand covered it.

"Keep it down, would you?" An unmistakable voice said. Hisoka.

The lamp by your bedside flicked on and you saw him, weird clothes and all. You relaxed slightly and he removed his hand from your mouth.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" You hissed, sitting up from your spot. Thank god you wore pajamas to bed tonight. Well, it's not like he hadn't seen you naked already, but you weren't in the mood right now.

"You were ignoring me," he frowned like the absolute man child he was.

He had done the exact same thing to you when you were younger. He just randomly showed up in your room at night while everyone else was sleeping. And then he was confused why you didn't want to hang out with him at that very moment.

"Oh my god, what are you, ten?" You rubbed your eyes. "I have to work tomorrow."

"I'll be leaving town shortly," he finally said. Your attention snapped to him and your heart dropped. It would probably be just like last time where you wouldn't see him for a few years.

"Thanks for saying bye this time," you spat, your bitterness getting the better of you. You were glad that he didn't just up and leave this time.

"Awe, you'll miss me, won't you?" Although he was mocking you, the smile on his face appeared to be almost kind. Perhaps soft was a better word for it. It was rare that he actually looked cute instead of either seductive or aloof.

"Yes. I will." You were honest with him, not wasting time with hiding behind sarcasm. You doubted he really cared whether you missed him or not.

His hand cupping your cheek only made the ache in your heart worse. You could live in these moments, pretending that he loved you, that the two of you could be together like a real couple and not just friends with benefits. Your hand covered his and you leaned into his touch, savoring every second of it. As annoying as he can be, you didn't want him to leave.

"Won't you come with me tonight? I want to show you something."

"Okay."

____________________

The crescent moon was high in the sky, stars blocked out by the city's light pollution. Cold wind nipped at your exposed skin as the two of you stood by the edge of the rooftop, traffic passing by down below, as well as a few people on the sidewalks. Even at this late hour, Yorknew never sleeps.

"What is it you wanted to show me?"

You weren't really sure why he brought you up here in the first place. There didn't appear to be anything special about it. Sure, the first time the two of you hung out one on one took place on a rooftop, but Hisoka wouldn't remember something sentimental. At least, you didn't think he would. That man had the memory of a bee.

"Be patient," he said, staring down at the street. "It's not time yet."

"Time?" You questioned, but he didn't answer.

Why was he being so elusive all the sudden? If he was planning something to scare you, you very well might end up pushing him off the roof.

Standing there in silence, a bittersweet atmosphere surrounded you. Nothing ever lasts, but even so, you were grateful. Your grudge had begun to melt away, you got to live out some of your deepest fantasies, and most importantly, Hisoka was alive and well.

"Hisoka?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," he smiled, "for what?"

"For coming back." You grabbed his wrist and turned to face him. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again, you know? And now you're leaving all over again."

His other hand met your chin and he leaned down, his lips meeting yours in a way that was almost sweet. You exhaled softly, leaning into him. If only he would kiss you like this all the time...it didn't matter. At least he was saying goodbye this time. If this was his way of doing it, you're okay with that.

He was the one to break the kiss, his pale yellow irises partially hidden under half-lidded eyes. His lips curled up into a smile and suddenly his aura changed. There was a deck of cards in his hands now. You stepped back from the surprise, about to question what the hell he was going.

"Here we go."

"Hisoka!" A male voice called out as a figure burst through the door leading to the roof. People dressed in black suddenly popped up from the edges and surrounded the two of you.

"What's going on?" You hissed, tempted to grab onto his arm. The sudden shift from neutral to sinister was enough to stop you.

Immediately, your body flung you away from him as bloodlust oozed from his form. Hisoka didn't bother answering. A few of the people surrounding him had swords and guns that were pointed straight at him already. Holy shit. These men were going to kill him—and likely you too if you got caught in the crossfire. This was bad, so unbelievably bad. What had he done to cause this?

"Do you remember me, Hisoka?" As he stepped away from the door, you could see that he was a black-haired man around Hisoka's age—maybe a bit older. Although, he was about the same size as Hisoka as well, he wasn't nearly as muscular or powerful. He seemed to be just an average person.

"Should I?" He responded flippantly, shuffling the cards in his hands without a care in the world.

He's lying. He had to be if _this_ is what he wanted to show you. There's no way this wasn't a coincidence.

The aura from the men dressed in black enveloped their body like some protective shield. In response, Hisoka's did as well. Huh. You had never really thought to control your aura like that. During your time away from Hisoka, you hadn't really done much with your aura, not on purpose anyway. In another scenario, you might be interested in trying to do so, but not now. Drawing attention to yourself could be deadly.

"You bastard," the man growled, clenching his hand into a fist. You swore you heard him sniffle. "My husband is dead because of you!"

The man glanced down at the ground, his shoulders shaking. You looked over at Hisoka who displayed no emotion whatsoever. Was that true? Had he killed someone again? It had to be...but maybe he had a good reason for doing so. Like he did last time.

"Do you even remember killing him?" His voice shook as he snapped his head back up to Hisoka, slowly but surely losing his composure. "Do you even care?"

"No," Hisoka pulled out one of his cards and held it between two fingers, glancing down at it without much regard for those surrounding him.

The man was so distraught that he could barely keep himself together. This seemed less and less like Hisoka was just defending himself. He didn't care to see this man in pain, didn't care how this death ruined him. Hell, he claimed he didn't even remember. _How many people has he murdered?_

"Kill him! Whatever it takes!"

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. All at once, the men rushed him. You noticed some of them suddenly had weapons that they hadn't before while others started to attack. One man punched directly into the ground, his fist disappearing in it and reappearing underneath Hisoka's jaw. How did he even?

Hisoka dodged it with ease, along with the other people slashing at him. A stray bullet came flying at you, to which you dodged just by a hair. As soon as you looked back, you saw it happen. With one quick swipe of his card, Hisoka sliced through a man's neck like it was nothing. There was no remorse, no hesitation, nothing. Only excitement. He was enjoying this, enjoying killing all these men.

His eyes glanced over at you and you immediately felt a shiver run through your body. For a moment, you thought he was going to kill you too. It was like the breath was forced out of you and your trembling knees could barely support your weight. You needed to leave right now. The man that orchestrated this had already chosen his fate. He didn't seem like he'd even be willing to leave with you if you bothered to try. The muscles in your legs tensed, sending you forward as fast as they possible could.

Out of nowhere, two cards came flying directly at you, snagging your clothes and embedding themselves into the walls. You barely made it two steps. Without even cutting your skin, your wrists and ankles were effectively pinned in an instant. No escape. You were forced to bear witness to the blood bath taking place.

The men dropped like flies, their limp bodies crashing to the ground in a puddle of their own blood. Hisoka was moving so fast that you could barely keep track of him. There was only one man left now. A young boy around your age who was shaking almost as bad as you. His blond hair fell in front of his terrified blue eyes.

"Please," the boy begged, trying to step away from Hisoka, "someone help me! I don't wanna die!"

You tried to tear through the cards and leave your clothes behind, but it was like there was something else preventing your limbs from even moving.

"Hisoka, stop it!" You cried, trying anything to reach him. It didn't work. Your plea fell on deaf ears.

The card flew from Hisoka's hand and embedded itself into the boy's skull. His body dropped to the ground just as the others had, lifeless and immobile. He was dead. You didn't even know this kid's name and he was already slain as if he were nothing more than a bug for Hisoka to squash. The magician grabbed his card from the boy's skull and turned to the man who started it all.

"No, this can't be happening. It wasn't supposed to go like this!" 

"What did you expect? That you could beat me with such useless people?"

The grief-stricken man stumbled back with tears in his eyes.

"What _are_ you?"

"Just a magician."

The card sliced open the man's throat. He scrambled to cover the wound, desperately trying to keep the blood in. The strangled gasps were the worst part of it, the sound of someone dying. He joined the rest of his slain men, his wide brown eyes staring up at the moon above.

Vomit crawled up your throat, threatening to spill out at any moment. Tears fell from your eyes as you looked on in abject horror. How could he have gone from your best friend to a cold-blooded killer? Those men...he didn't have to kill them. He could've let them go. That boy...that poor boy had so much life ahead of him and Hisoka robbed him of it. This has to be some kind of nightmare. Wake up. Come on, wake up!

His yellow eyes turning to you made your blood run cold. This was it. You were going to join these men at any second. As he approached you slowly, you closed your eyes, turning your head away from him.

"You're afraid that you're next, aren't you?" His hand on your chin jerked your head towards him and you opened your eyes. You felt him press that bloodied card against your neck, staining your skin with red. "Afraid that I'll end your life here and now?"

"How could you?" Your voice steadily rose in volume, your face contorted with rage and sorrow. "You could've spared them! That boy begged for his life and you slaughtered him."

"They attacked me. I was simply defending myself."

He dropped his hand from your face and let his card fall to the ground.

"Don't give me that bullshit. You can't tell me that boy was any threat to you whatsoever. You could have let him go."

"And you could have at least _tried_ to save him."

What? How in the world could you have saved him? You were trapped against the wall by Hisoka's doing. Now that you were thinking about it, you noticed that you could move your limbs again and you were able to tear through those cards. What the hell? Was it fear that paralyzed you? Could you really have done something?

Even if he intended on killing you tonight, even after everything you've seen, you wouldn't go down without a fight. You swung at him knowing that it would miss, knowing that he could easily catch it. It was better to have your wrist pinned to the wall than just giving in to his will.

"You make me _sick_ ," your words were laced with venom, but there was something else there too. Something that cut so much deeper. The bitter disappointment and heart break that was so much worse than when he left. To think, the first and only man that you loved was an absolute monster. 

He caught your other hand too when you tried to strike at him again, taking both of your wrists and pinning them above your head with one hand. You didn't know what was worse. That he wasn't saying anything or that he didn't have to. You both knew it. He won.

But you couldn't help yourself. There's no point in holding your tongue now. Things would never be the same. Everything was over.

"Hisoka, I thought that you—that I—" your eyes met the ground. You couldn't bear to look into those yellow eyes you once adored.

"That you loved me? Or that I loved you back?" He chuckled, looking down at you as if you were nothing but a naive child to him. "You poor thing. It was just sex. Nothing more, nothing less. And you were so eager too, so desperate for my praise and approval."

That just about shattered you into pieces. To think you gave yourself to someone like him first, someone who you meant absolutely _nothing_ to. All those years spent pining over him, _loving_ him were flushed down the drain, wasted completely. You didn't want to cry over him, but you couldn't help yourself.

"However," his hand hooked the waistband of your pants, "maybe I'll take you one last time before leaving."

You tried to pull away, but with his body so close to yours, it was fruitless. You shook your head, wishing you could just press into the wall and disappear.

"No, it's not the right time," and just like that, his hand settled on your throat, clawing at the sensitive skin there.

"What was the point in sparing my life at the park if this is what you planned to do to me?"

He stopped for a moment to contemplate the answer.

"It's really quite simple. I spared your life because you impressed me with your Zetsu and your reflexes, not because we were childhood friends or out of love. I could care less about something so trivial," his words cut through you once more, tearing open that wound further and further with each slash. "However, you _should_ be more developed in your Nen by now. There's nothing I hate more than wasted potential. I'm tempted to end your life right now."

You had no idea what Nen was, but even through your turmoil and wave of emotions, you locked it away in your mind. It might be the key to beating him someday.

"Then do it," you spat back, a sneer etched deep into your lips. Never had you ever been so devastated and furious in your life before. "Fucking kill me, you pussy. Kill me or I'll hunt you down and kill you myself."

"Oh? Still fighting, even after everything that's transpired?" He smirked, "good. That's what I like to hear."

He released your wrists in favor of placing both of his hands on your face, pulling you closer to him. The way he kissed you was like that of a lover leaving for war, sweet and passionate as if he'd never get another chance to do so. For you, it was one of the last things you wanted. He tainted more of your memories of kissing him the longer he was latched on, his darkness flooding whatever light there had been. He was mocking you, that much was obvious. You didn't kiss back.

"The next time we meet," he said after pulling back "I won't go so easy on you. See you around."

He disappeared like a shadow in the night, leaving you standing in the carnage.


	5. A New Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to thank you guys for all the nice comments you leave! It really does mean a lot to me that people enjoy my stuff. So big preesh to all of you!

_"The next time we meet, I won't go so easy on you."_

His words echoed in your mind. As you sat shrouded in darkness, your apartment had never felt lonelier. Empty. Just like you. Hisoka was so much stronger than you could've ever imagined and there was nothing you could do to stop him. When did the gap of power between the two of you become so wide? It's like you'd never be able to catch up...no. You didn't have the luxury of feeling sorry for yourself anymore. It's kill or be killed. If you don't meet his standards, if you don't catch up to him, Hisoka _will_ kill you.

But where should you even start? Who could train you in controlling your aura? Martial arts seemed like the most obvious place to go. Not here though. After what happened, you wanted nothing to do with Yorknew. Those men...those poor men. Guilt ate away at you. If you had been stronger, maybe you could've saved them. Even worse, you ended up just leaving them there for some other poor soul to find.

What would you have even told the police? "Hey, my childhood friend who I was kinda in love with turned out to be a sadistic murder clown. Oh, and he also killed these guys with nothing more than a playing card." Yeah, no. They wouldn't believe you. With Hisoka already gone and no other eyewitness or alibi, they'd probably pin it on you. And even if they caught Hisoka somehow, he'd just kill them too. No more death.

The road ahead wasn't an easy one. You'd have to move and change your number if you wanted to ensure that all contact Hisoka had to you was cut. Leaving your friends here would be the hardest part of all of this. He uprooted your whole life in the matter of a few weeks. You almost wanted to stay out of pure spite. No, that wouldn't be the smart thing to do. Avoid him at all costs. Hisoka would probably end up finding you no matter how hard you tried to escape, but you sure as shit weren't going to make it easy for him. For now, you'd just have to get back to a new normal and plan to get out of Yorknew asap.

____________________

Yellow eyes flashed in the darkness. A shadowy figure drew closer with precise and graceful movements, each step taken with confidence and care. As it came into view, it only grew taller. The sharp face of a man with a devilish smile that stretched ear to ear, jagged red hair, and a muscular physique came into view. He raised his hand, a white card trapped between his clawed fingers.

Your legs wouldn't move fast enough, no matter how hard your feet hit the ground. He was always right behind you. The hall seemed to go on forever with no end in sight. A card embedded itself into the back of your shoulder. You cried out from the stabbing pain, stumbling forward as blood stained your shirt. You reached back and pulled it out, trying to throw it back at the man with little success. Another card stabbed into your leg, sending you to the ground.

As soon as you tried to push up, a foot planted itself straight into your back, keeping you trapped on the ground.

"Always so helpless," he mocked from above, shifting more of his weight onto your body, "you can't save anyone, can you?"

Bodies fell in front of you, landing in a grotesque mountain of flesh and torn limbs. Each face seemed to stare at you, hauntingly familiar. You had seen each of them before somewhere. One of them-a young boy-started twitching. He crawled towards you, blood spilling from his mouth.

"Why didn't you help me?"

You wanted to move away, but his weight on you made it impossible. There was something else there too, some horrible aura that pressed you further into the ground.

"I'm sorry," was all you could think of saying.

A flash of white passed in front of you and before you realized what had happened, a card jabbed into his forehead. He dropped to the ground, dying a second time.

Your world flickered. It was like you were watching an old film reel or something that layered over your current scene.

"Do you have to be so annoying all the time?" A younger version of you grumbled, trying to push a red-headed boy off of you. "Get off of me, you jerk."

"You challenged me first. What was it that you said?" He teased, keeping you pinned on the couch with his body. For a tiny thing, he sure was strong. "I believe it was 'how could a toothpick like you ever hope to pin me down?'"

"Whatever." You looked away from him with a scowl, a faint blush tinting your cheeks. Struggling was futile at this point.

"Oh, is that a blush I see? What, do you _like_ me being on top of you?" There was a sly grin on his face that you just wanted to punch right off. To be even more of an asshole, he leaned in uncomfortably close.

"Get over yourself," oh when did he start looking at you like that? Those half-lidded eyes were almost too much. "You win, okay?"

"Hm? What was that?"

"God, I hate-you win, Hisoka!"

"That's what I thought." Only then did he finally release you. "Feel free to challenge me any time. I'd be happy to put you back in your place."

"Put me back in my place my ass," you grumbled. "Shut up."

You were forced back to the original scene by a hand jerking your head up by your hair. He was crouching over you now with a card pressed against the front of your neck.

"You've disappointed me, (Y/N)," he whispered in your ear. "I gave you time to get stronger, didn't I? And you're still useless. Such a pity."

He pulled your head back, forcing you to lift your torso to alleviate the searing pain on your scalp. With the way you were angled, you could finally look him in the eye. You knew who it was even before you saw his face. You just didn't want to admit it.

"Why are you doing this?" You meant to sound angrier, but with the tears burning in your eyes, it just came out as broken.

"You wasted your potential. And more importantly, you wasted my time," he smashed your face into the ground. Blood dripped out of your now broken nose as the world spun around you, a white flash consuming your vision for the second time.

"You were amazing out there, you know that?"

It was a rare occasion that you gave him a genuine compliment. With an ego of his size, it's not like you needed to, but you just couldn't help yourself. Seeing him perform in his costume with the grace of an experienced pro made your heart swell. You were happy for him.

"I do."

He leaned against the wall next to you. It was evening now and most of the audience had left. All that remained were the other performers and a few stragglers.

"I mean it, Hisoka."

You weren't really sure why you did it, but you grabbed his hand. He seemed confused by your sudden display of affection. Now that you were really looking at him, you noticed that he had gotten taller since he had been away, and his muscles were a bit more defined. He looked more handsome too.

"What's gotten into you? Did you really miss me that much?"

You didn't answer. It was getting late and you had to get back home soon. Leaving him was always the hardest part of this, knowing that you wouldn't see him again for months. Sometimes you wished you could stay with him in the circus, but you didn't have the talent for it.

"I should go. My parents are probably getting tired of me lingering here."

"Already?" If you weren't mistaken, you thought he might have wanted you to stay.

"And who missed who?"

Although he would never admit it, you knew he liked your company. There weren't a lot of people his age in the circus and he wasn't very good at making friends.

You did end up staying a bit longer, but when your mom started calling you, you knew it was time to go.

"I'll get in trouble if I don't leave now." You pushed off the wall. "Can I have a hug?"

It wasn't often that you asked him since Hisoka wasn't exactly what you would call cuddly-and he got way too handsy the one time you tried to spoon with him-but you knew you'd regret it if you didn't. Plus, you could get away with it after not seeing him for a while. You were just two friends saying goodbye. Definitely nothing more.

"Of course."

You buried your face in his chest, clinging onto him like it was the last time you'd see him. His hands rested on your lower back and for a second, you thought he might actually be sharing a soft moment with you. It was...nice. You felt all warm and fuzzy just standing there in his arms.

His hands slid further down and he squeezed your ass. You planted your hands on his chest and shoved him away from you. He always had a shit-eating grin when he pulled something like that.

"Hisoka! You always have to ruin it, don't you?"

As fast as it came on, the memory was gone. You were back in the bloody hallway filled with the potent stench of death. You were forced to stare at the pile of corpses that were too close for comfort.

"This was always going to happen, you dying by my hand. You could've prolonged it if you had put in a bit more effort. Oh well. I have no interest in the dead."

Your head was yanked up a second time and before you knew it, you felt something sharp carve deep into the skin of your neck.

Your eyes snapped open. You clutched at your chest, taking in shaky breaths. Even months later, you're still having nightmares. What was up with all those old memories of him anyway? It was like your life flashed before your eyes.

You shook it away. Today was the day you could finally leave Yorknew. Your lease had expired and you got your security deposit back. Leaving your friends was just as difficult as you anticipated. There wasn't any official goodbye party or anything. Just one last time hanging out. It pained you to admit that you left them just like Hisoka left you, but telling them where you were moving to was a no go. Really, the only one who realized you were leaving was your boss and even she didn't know where you'd end up. Being forced to start all over again fucking sucks.

Even with the move, you hadn't forgotten about Hisoka's threat—especially after that nightmare. It felt like he was watching your every move, judging your lack of progress thus far. As much as you hated that he still influenced you in some way, you had to do something to protect yourself.

Before moving, you had already been looking at martial arts places in your new area. A Karate place was closest to your apartment, so maybe you'd look into that first.

____________________

"You're a natural," master Ena said with a smile, "but you still have a long way to go."

And just like that you were on your back once more. For an old lady, she sure is pretty spry. Her silver hair was always up in a tight bun and her brown eyes seemed to hold a bit of a mischievous glint to them at times.

You laid there panting. After sparring against your classmates and then against her, you were pretty beat to say the least. You could already feel the new bruises forming and joining your collection of them. She was good. They were all good.

"That's enough for today." She said, glancing over at the clock.

"I see," you wanted to ask for more time, but you'd never want to come across as disrespectful to her. Still, disappointment slipped into your voice.

"You'll get there eventually. It just takes practice."

"No, it's not that," you climbed back to your feet, looking down at your hands with a frown. "I just...I feel like I could be doing more, you know? Like I'm not...living up to my potential."

Saying something like that made you think of him. Your frown shifted into a scowl, but only for a second. She gave you a funny look. Your eyes widened.

"Not that I'm blaming you or anything! I apologize if I came across as disrespectful."

You could feel the gaze of the other students surrounding you.

"Tell you what. Come see me after class, alright?"

"Sure."

Why did this feel like the times when a teacher would scold you after class? You really hoped you hadn't said anything to offend her. Fortunately, enough, it was towards the end of class already, so you wouldn't have to deal with the anticipation for too long.

She gestured for you to follow her into the backroom, away from prying eyes. She took a seat at her desk that was relatively bare, save for a few pictures here and there, particularly quite a few of her with a little blonde girl. Probably her granddaughter or something.

"You wanted to see me, master?"

"What made you decide to take lessons here?"

Well you weren't expecting a question like that. You probably shouldn't lie to your master, but you wouldn't want her to think you're doing this purely to get revenge on Hisoka. Okay maybe you were a little bit. However, you were in desperate need in some form of training to protect yourself.

"Needing to know self-defense."

"There's more to it than that." She saw right through your bullshit. "I can't teach you as well as I could be if I don't understand why you're here."

You paused for a second. She's right. At this point, it probably seemed like you were rushing progress out of impatience. That wasn't it. You had to ensure that she didn't take your motives the wrong way or you'd probably get kicked out.

"I'll spare you the details, but with the situation I'm in...it's like I'm being hunted. I don't know when he'll strike, but he will. It's inevitable. Right now, I may as well be a deer standing alone in an open field."

Oh. You talked a little more than you meant to. Turns out keeping things bottled up for months isn't so healthy after all. You met her gaze, trying to read her reaction, but she gave you nothing. She wasn't saying anything either...shit, did you say it wrong?

"I understand."

Oh, thank goodness.

"You do?"

"You're feeling cornered, trapped. Like no one can possibly help you."

"Yes."

"I won't pry, but I'll tell you this. Progress can be slow, but it will come with hard work. I'll teach you what I can."

You couldn't stop the smile that lit up your face.

"Osu!"

She was right. Progress can be slow, but you were stubborn enough to see it through.

"And if you're in any real danger, you should probably get in contact with the police," this time, she couldn't hide that worried glance. She almost seemed a bit motherly now.

"I'll be okay."

No police. You didn't need anyone putting their lives in danger to protect you. You had to travel this path alone.

After that, whenever she had the time, you'd train with her one on one, as well as coming to all the classes you were eligible for. You didn't understand why she was being so kind, but were thankful for it nonetheless.

However, your whole life couldn't be dedicated to training, not when you needed to make money and rest in between intense classes. Initially, you tried waitressing, but after being shouted at by one too many rude customers, you had your fill. Yet again, you made another change to your life by applying and landing a barista position. There was a nice little coffee shop not too far from your apartment that seemed like a perfect place to try next. Less customers, it was closer to your home, and the baristas there had been pretty nice to you when you were a customer.

On your first day, the manager himself was training you. He looked like he was in his late twenties _at least_ with his short black hair and clean-shaven face. You were forced to look up to meet his gaze that was slightly obscured by circle glasses on his nose. He looked like a hipster, especially with the uniform. Glancing down at his name tag, you saw that the man's name was Leorio.

"Come on, let's go. I don't have all day."

Wow he sounded ornery. The temptation to mouth off to him was almost too much, but you held back. Wouldn't want to make a bad first impression or anything like that. Maybe he'd warm up to you.

"Not a morning person huh? Fair enough. Waking up is hard."

His glare seemed to soften a bit, but not much. Well, that was progress at least.

"I guess I should probably start with how you make different drinks."

With that, your training officially begun. For a complete grumpus, he was actually a pretty good teacher. He was patient enough with you and explained things relatively well, even with the customers trickling in. You already knew that he was probably a softie at heart, especially with such a calming aura.

You worked hard from the beginning of your shifts to the end, hoping to get more hours. If you didn't, you'd probably have to get a second job and that meant less training time. Plus, you'd really like to get baking privileges here at some point. That seemed like more fun than making drinks and there was less customer involvement.

Although...there were some interesting faces to see. A suited man in his 40s came in at the same time every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday with his laptop. His posture was rigid and he always cut straight to the point, avoiding any small chat that the other baristas attempted. Not knowing his name, you referred to him as Stiff Suit. There was another man, stick thin and balding with bright green eyes that burned into your soul. He made everyone uncomfortable with the way he constantly stared and mumbled to himself. He was dubbed Crazy Eyes.

You had your favorites too. A talkative girl around your age with a blonde pixie cut and brown eyes. Sachiko, but she preferred to be called Iko. The two of you would always end up chatting for a bit if there weren't customers waiting in line. And then Leorio would butt in to scold you and immediately shift gears to talk to Iko instead.

Oh, and how could you forget _her._ The one everyone simply called Karen. You didn't know her real name and you didn't care either. She terrorized the baristas with her ridiculously difficult orders and scrutinized every single move they made. Leorio mentioned that she had made the other baristas cry before. You were lucky enough to avoid serving her for a few weeks, but your day eventually came.

"Hey, (Y/N)," Iko said as you were making her drink. You glanced up at her. "I was wondering if maybe you and Leorio would like to hang out sometime?"

You weren't expecting her to ask that. You thought that it was more of a friendly interaction while you were working, not something that would actually develop into something more. No way in hell you were gonna pass up an opportunity to make another friend.

"We'd love to," Leorio cut in before you could answer, a pink blush tinting his cheeks. "Our shifts end at four. So meet here at four thirty?"

"Sounds great!" With a smile on her face, she took her drink and left.

"You didn't even ask if I was busy," you poked him playfully in the chest. "Somebody has a crush."

"What?!" He said a bit louder than he should have. You were smiling at him with a shit-eating grin. "I do not."

"You're blushing like a high school boy."

"Whatever. I'm going in the back to bake. Watch the counter while I'm gone."

"Sure thing, lover boy," you teased as he stomped off. You were alone now, waiting for the next customer to show up.

A few minutes ticked by without much activity. You surveyed the customers, noting that the love birds were sitting off in the corner by the window. They were an old couple who always turned up at the start of the day who constantly gave each other shit. You enjoyed listening to their banter.

More time passed and as you were wiping the counter, you heard the door open.

"Hello, how can I-"

"Decaff iced caramel macchiato, barely any ice, heavy whip cream."

Wait a minute. You knew that voice. It was _her._ Your head snapped up and you met those beady little brown eyes. Fuck. Leorio was baking and the other barista who usually worked with you, Aiya, hadn't come in today. You were going to have to serve her.

You whipped out your notepad as fast as you could. Best to try to get this over with.

"Could you repeat that, ma'am?"

She repeated her order in an increasingly agitated voice. She seemed to be in a bad mood today too. Great.

Her eyes burned a hole into your head even worse than Crazy Eyes—a feat you originally thought to be impossible. Your hands were shaking and you damn near spilled the drink when bringing it back to her. She took a sip and you waited with bated breath, hoping that it was to her liking...unfortunately, you'd never get so lucky. She spat it out on the floor and immediately your jaw clenched. This bitch.

"I ordered decaff, not this garbage. And what's with all the ice? I said barely any ice."

It _was_ decaff, you made sure of that. She was just trying to get another drink out of the mess, wasn't she?

Crazy Eyes was staring right at the two of you at this point. Hell, even Stiff Suit looked up from his laptop to watch what was going on.

Might as well bite the bullet and just do it over again.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, if you'll—"

"That's the problem with you kids these days. Never able to do anything right and always making up excuses. Are you always this incompetent?"

You did everything in your power not to clench your fists at that and instead hid behind a smile. Leorio should be done any moment now.

"Since you're too stupid to get it the first time, I'll repeat myself. I asked for a decaff iced caramel macchiato, barely any ice, heavy whip cream. It's not that hard to make."

'Why don't you try to make it' was what you wanted to say, but instead you kept smiling. You glanced around, noting that some of the people looked pissed.

"I'll remake it."

"And waste more of my time?"

"Leave the kid alone," the old man in the corner gave Karen a pointed glare.

"Stay out of this, grandpa," she snapped back at him.

"What's going on here?" Your savior said. It seems Leorio had heard the commotion and came to your rescue.

"Your employee is useless. Why don't you get someone who can actually do their job?"

"Ma'am, if you can't speak to my employees respectfully, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"You're going to ask ME to leave? After waiting all this time?" She was only getting louder at this point. You swore she was turning red from the anger like the crab she was. It seemed a little much to be getting this upset over something so insignificant. "I want to speak to the manager."

Leorio turned around, took off his cap and put it back on, and spun back around with a smile.

"I'm the manager and I'm telling you to leave. Right now."

She was so appalled that her jaw dropped. With just a few words, Leorio seemed to stun her into silence. In an abrupt motion, she took off the lid and threw the drink at the two of you. You managed to swiftly step to the side, but Leorio was drenched. When you looked back, the woman had already stormed out of the shop, leaving all of you flabbergasted. She really just did that.

You were the first to come out of your stupor.

"Oh my god are you okay?" You asked as the other customers stared at Karen's retreating form in shock.

"I'm fine." He looked like he was trying to hold himself back from going after her ass. "I'll have to go home and wash my uniform. I'll call in the assistant manager to take my place."

You were thankful that he had been there to help out.

"Are _you_ okay," he asked, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Oh, that was nothing," you chuckled, "I've dealt with far more difficult people before."

A certain ginger cretin came to mind. As soon as those thoughts were in your head, you pushed them the fuck out. Didn't need to be distracted by that when you were trying to work.

"I'm glad to hear it. I'll see you later."

The rest of the day was a breeze compared to that. And the people who did come in seemed like damn angels. The ones who had been there were extra courteous to you too.

When you were finished, you had almost forgotten that you'd be meeting Iko at the end of your shift. After going home to change into something casual, you walked back to the shop to see the two of them standing there.

"I heard about what happened today. Leorio just told me."

She almost looked...angry. That was new.

"Are you doing alright?" She asked.

"Me? Oh, I'm fine," you chuckled. "Let's forget about her and enjoy the rest of the day."

And that you did. The three of you decided to grab a bite to eat at a nearby restaurant. The walls inside were made of brick and the entire front portion of it was glass. You decided to sit at a table near the window, watching the people that passed on by. The restaurant, called Brickyard, wasn't too busy.

"So, you have any plans on working elsewhere in the future?" You asked Leorio.

"I want to be a doctor," he admitted, swirling the straw in his drink.

"That's awesome, Leorio!" Iko chimed in, confusion settling on her face for a moment. "How come you didn't go to school for it when you were younger? Did you try another career that didn't work out?"

"Wait a minute, how old do you think I am?"

"Late twenties, early thirties?"

"I'm seventeen!"

Your jaw just about dropped to the floor. Seventeen? There's no way in hell.

"You're close to my age?" You were the one to cut in this time. "Man, you look old. You'll probably look fifty by the time you're thirty."

"Oh, shut up." He scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "How old are _you_ anyway?"

"Just turned nineteen," following Leorio's grumbling, you shifted your attention to Iko. "How old are you, Iko?"

She looked away for a moment, seeming a bit embarrassed.

"I'm twenty-four."

"What?!" Both you and Leorio exclaimed at the same time.

"No way, you totally look our age!" Leorio said. "Not that twenty-four is old or anything."

Smooth.

An unpleasant thought popped in your head. She's the same age as Hisoka. You were quick to avoid falling down that rabbit hole again. Twice in one day he had come to mind.

"It's alright," she smiled, "I get that a lot. People are even more surprised when I tell them I own my own business."

"Oooo, what is it?" You asked, curiosity piqued.

You didn't take Iko for a business owner honestly. She seemed waaaaaay too nice.

"Oh nothing really. Just a little antique shop a couple of blocks from your coffee shop."

Now that was something you could see her being into.

"We'll have to go see it sometime," Leorio suggested, leaning closer to her with his chin resting on his hand.

"Yeah, okay!"

After eating, the three of you wandered around town. You found out that Iko had inherited the shop from her grandmother whose health wasn't good enough to run it anymore. Apparently, her grandma had thought many of the items had magical properties or something. You were incredibly interested in it now, even if you weren't a big believer in magic. Well, you supposed some people may think aura was magic.

Once the sun began to set, Iko decided that it was time to head home.

"I had a lot of fun!" She said.

"Yeah, me too!" Leorio responded almost instantly. God, he was so obvious. It was almost laughable.

"Why don't we exchange numbers? That way, we can plan our next hang out and I don't have to bother you two at work."

"You're never a bother," he said too quickly again.

You wanted to put your face in your hands, but resisted for his sake. Leorio really didn't have any game, did he? Then again, he was still pretty young apparently.

The three of you gave each other your numbers and Iko created a groupchat to make sure everyone got it. After that, she left and it was just you and Leorio standing there.

You couldn't hold it in anymore.

"You were practically screaming that you like her back there, you know that?"

"I was?" He seemed worried for a moment before going back to his grumpy facade. "Shut up."

"You should ask her out sometime."

He grumbled something under his breath. The two of you walked in comfortable silence for a moment before a thought seemed to pop into Leorio's mind.

"You know, I never asked," Leorio said, "are you going to college or anything like that?"

"No. Not yet anyway. I might someday."

"Do you have any idea what career you might choose?"

This conversation brought you back. You remembered admitting to Hisoka that you wanted to be a hunter. It was funny. You had gotten so focused on the coffee shop and training to beat him, that you had almost forgotten about your little dream. It couldn't hurt to tell Leorio, right?

"I was thinking about being a hunter in the past. I was training. Still am."

Hisoka still seemed to be present in your mind, no matter how hard you tried to push him away.

"There are some awful fucking people out there, Leorio. Someone has to stop them. I won't sit idly by and watch people get hurt."

There were others like _him_ too that lived for tearing people down, destroying lives. Letting them go free isn't an option. It started as a desire to defend yourself from him, but now that you had people to protect, you couldn't afford not to care anymore.

You didn't even realize when you started scowling.

"Hey, snap out of it," Leorio's hand on your shoulder dragged you out of your musings. Oh. You had gotten more into your head than you realized.

"Oh sorry. I'm oversharing."

"You're passionate. There's nothing to apologize for. It'd be nice to have someone protecting those in need."

You smiled. Good thing you hadn't scared him off. It'd suck losing one of the first real friends you had made in a while.

"I was thinking of taking the hunter exam myself."

"That right?"

You tried to hide your surprise. He didn't really seem like the type to do something like that, especially with his lack of physical strength. However, just with the things he's mentioned, you could tell he had the drive for it.

"Sure am. Then I can make enough money to go to med school."

"Well, I'll be rooting for you. Who knows, maybe we can take it together."

The two of you shared a laugh.

____________________

"You seem happier lately," your master said to you as she threw a punch, her words catching you a bit off guard.

"Do I?" You hadn't really thought much about it, but yeah you had been doing better. You weren't having nightmares nearly as often and spending more time with Leorio and Iko did wonders for your mental health. "I guess I am. I made a few friends."

Unsurprisingly, she attacked while you were talking, but your reflexes managed to move you out of the way.

"Thought I'd get you with that one. Should've known better," she smiled. Sometimes, she liked to try to distract you to see how fast you could respond. "You've made a lot of progress, you know. So driven, just like my granddaughter."

Ah. So that's why she was so willing to train you one on one.

"Thank you, master."

She stepped back and paused for a moment.

"Are they good to you?"

You didn't even have to think about that question. The answer was immediate.

"They are, yeah. They're probably some of the nicest people I've met, even if one is a little grump sometimes."

"Hold onto them."

"Osu."

Time flew by after that. Days turned to weeks and weeks into months. These days, you hardly thought about what had happened with him. It came across your mind from time to time, but it didn't consume you like it used to. The anger and desire to defeat Hisoka hadn't vanished by any means. You were just more in control of it now.

Today was your day off and Iko decided it was finally time to show you around her shop. She had been surprisingly shy about it for whatever reason.

Leorio came with you and the two of you entered the shop. You could see the dark wood of the floor, some areas covered by old decorative rugs. The parts of the walls that weren't obscured by things hanging on it were wooden much like the floor. The shop itself was lit by overhanging lights that shone down on the plethora of objects stacked high on the shelves. Everything seemed cluttered, yet organized in some strange way. There were things ranging from old pieces of parchment to record players and pocket watches.

You noticed that some items weren't like the others. While Leorio went to greet Iko, you felt yourself being drawn to an old knife in particular. The handle was wooden and engraved, the edge of the handle in the shape of a dragon. The blade itself was worn and appeared to have words that you couldn't quite make out on it. The appearance itself wasn't what interested you though. No. It was the aura imbued in it, much like the other objects. This aura felt stronger than that of a normal person's. Why was it here though?

Just then, a word popped into your mind. A word you heard about a year and a half ago, but hadn't thought about until now. Nen. That's what those men had been using. Nen.

Images of their corpses came to mind and you tried to shake them away, but it wouldn't work. It was just like the times when you first broke down. That skin crawling feeling was back too, as well as the guilt. The families of those men...they'd never know exactly what happened, would never catch the culprit. And then there he was, his face in your mind, his threats.

_"I won't go so easy on you."_

The nightmares stuck on repeat.

" _This was always going to happen, you dying by my hand."_

You were spiraling and you couldn't stop.

"(Y/N)!" Leorio calling your name brought you out of it. He always managed to help you when things like this would happen, even if he didn't know why they did.

You noticed that you had clutched the knife in a vice grip. You set it down like you had been burned, deciding that you wouldn't touch it again. Whoever's aura that was...it was incredibly unpleasant.

"So, what do you think?" Iko asked. When did she get here?

"I like the atmosphere! And you have some interesting stuff too!"

Interesting was a nice word for it, but you doubted she even knew about Nen.

"Thanks! It was my grandma that designed it though. I miss working with her."

"It'd be cool to meet her some time," you said with a smile that Iko returned.

"Maybe. Why don't I give you a little tour? Today's a slow day."

With that, you explored the shop together. She told you and Leorio that seeing everything would take days, so she skipped to the more interesting stuff. You noticed she happened to be point out the Nen infused objects without even realizing it. Maybe normal people could sense it too?

"That was fun," Leorio said when the tour was finished.

"I wish I could've showed you more."

"Well I guess, we'll just have to come back some time so you can."

Ooh that was pretty good. His game seemed to be improving. You were both thankful and surprised that he invited you as well instead of just himself.

"Yeah that sounds great!"

And so the tours began. Instead of always meeting at the coffee shop, the three of you met at her store as well. Sometimes it was just the two of you for some girl time and other times Leorio went by himself which he then told you about later.

One day, she told you that she had a special someone for you and Leorio to meet.

"We're here!" Leorio called out.

As you wandered through the shelves, you saw her desk peeking out from the corner and next to Iko was an old woman with white hair. The two of them appeared to be about the same height. When the woman turned to you, you just about shit your pants.

"Hey guys, this is my grandma Ena!"

You were so goddamned shocked that you couldn't even speak. You could've sworn Iko said her grandmother was too old to work. How the hell did she teach Karate then? Did she not know? Master Ena responded before you could.

"Nice to meet you."

She was pretending not to recognize you. You'd play the part for now, but you'd certainly be prying later on.

Seeing master Ena act like a decrepit old lady was so bizarre. It nearly gave you whiplash and Iko really didn't have any idea what her dear old grandmother was up to in the meantime. You weren't able to pull her aside today in the shop without looking like a weirdo so you just waited until after your next class.

"Master, I don't mean to sound rude, but Iko is your granddaughter?"

"Yes, she is."

"And she doesn't know about _this_?" You gestured to the dojo.

"That's right," she said with a smile, "Iko would...worry about me if she knew I was back to training."

That was something you could understand. You'd worry too if you grandma was teaching martial arts at her age and straining her body. Still...

"I still can't believe that I accidentally befriended your granddaughter. Like, what are the odds?"

Oh, you were being a bit too casual, weren't you? Master Ena didn't seem to mind. In fact, she had a glint of mischief in her eye.

"I may have...recommended your workplace to her. She loves coffee."

What?! You had only mentioned work to her a few times and maybe dropped the name of the place _once_.

"Why?"

"I can tell you value your friends. And after I left our shop, she was in desperate need of a new friend."

You were about three seconds away from crying. She was too good to you. They both were. You were so thankful that you had met both her and Iko. Though, you weren't sure how Iko would respond if she knew what her grandmother was hiding from her.

"You know Iko will probably find out someday."

"Perhaps. But that's a problem for another day."

___________________

Before you knew it, the hunter exam was just around the corner. You and Leorio planned to take it together, but plans don't always work out.

Her hand struck out towards your face and you swiftly moved to the side, extending one leg while your hand latched around her wrist. With one abrupt motion, you sent her to the ground once again. It seemed to be getting easier and easier to predict and dodge her attacks. You tended to mop the floor with the other students too.

"You've grown so much, (Y/N)" master Ena said, "I think you're just about there."

"There? What do you mean, master?"

"I believe that it might be about time for you to find another master."

"What? I can't have learned everything already."

"Learning is never finished," she chuckled, "but I think someone else would be better suited to your needs. If I'm not overstepping, I would like to send you to someone."

You nodded, trusting her judgement. She had been working with you for long enough now to evaluate what you needed the most now. She wrote down a name and a phone number on a piece of paper.

"You've been ready for a while now," she admitted, "I was being a bit selfish by keeping you. It's been a while since I've had a student challenge me as you have. And you've been so good to Iko."

"I'm humbled by your words, master," you bowed before taking the paper she offered to you.

"Give him a call when you're ready. You'll have to leave the city to get to him, but I think he'll be perfect for you."

Leave the city? It felt like you just got here...could you really stand to leave Leorio and Iko? Well, Leorio had talked about going and doing some training of his own in preparation for the hunter exam. Maybe you could talk him into coming with you? No. You shouldn't push your own desires onto him. He had to do what was best for him.

"Thank you for everything. I'll see you later, master Ena."

____________________

"What's this?" Leorio asked as you handed him a slip of paper after your shift. The shop was closed and the other workers had already left for the day. You had called Iko to meet the two of you after your shift.

"My two-week notice."

"You're quitting?" They said in unison.

The way Leorio's shoulders slacked and disappointment bled into Iko's tone almost tempted you to retract your statement. No, you had to do this.

"I'm moving to another city to continue my training. There's someone there who's gonna help me reach the next level."

"Have you ever even met this person? What if they're not who they say they are? What if they try to hurt you? What if—"

"You're going into dad mode again," you patted his shoulder reassuringly, "I'll be okay. It's only for a month and then I'll be back."

He seemed to relax a bit.

"Are you sure you have to go?" Iko asked, looking nearly on the verge of tears. It felt like someone just punched you in the chest.

"Yes. Listen, I promise I won't lose contact with you guys. That's what the groupchat is for!"

"Yeah okay," she seemed to begrudgingly accept that, but she clearly wasn't happy about it.

"Tell you what. I'll meet up with you, Leorio, at the hunter exam, alright? And Iko, we'll come see you right afterwards."

The smile on their faces was just about enough to make your heart melt into absolute mush. The hug that followed was one that you never wanted to let go of. It was...nice to have friends who genuinely cared about you and would never intentionally do anything to hurt you. Her words echoed in your mind. _Hold onto them._

You would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did somebody say brief coffee shop au with Leorio? Leorio is the purest hxh character and you can't change my mind.


	6. Nen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question for you all. Do you think the hxh characters who use Nen can see bloodlust the way the viewers do? Or is it just something they feel?

Something you hadn't realized in your leave was that you'd miss the coffee shop itself too. All the regulars, the other baristas, it'd be weird not seeing them every day. Then again, if you became a hunter, who's to say you couldn't come back there afterwards? Leorio would be going to school once he had the money, so he probably wouldn't be back there regardless. At least Iko would be.

With just a little more than a month left before the hunter exam, every moment of training was precious. You had given the man Master Ena recommended a call. Wing—a soft spoken man over the phone and he appeared to be more than willing to take you on. Eager was probably a better word. Hopefully, he meant well and had good intentions. Then again, you doubted Master Ena would recommend someone that would impede your progress rather than assist and teach. 

Traveling through the big city was nerve wracking to say the least. Streets jam packed with people and cars, buildings that seemed to stretch high in the sky. The eye catcher was the tower at the center of it all. You weren't sure what it was, but it was probably the tallest building you had ever seen. Maybe you would ask Wing about it some time.

After getting turned around only a few times, you found yourself upon an average looking house. The GPS on your phone said this was the right place. Interesting. He was letting a stranger come straight to his house then. Either he was incredibly naive, or he really trusted Master Ena.

You took in a deep breath before finally knocking on the door. You had been wondering what Wing had in mind for your training. He had said that he would tell you more in person and was pretty vague about certain things. Definitely another red flag, but you believed in your master's judgement. She had yet to steer you wrong.

As the door creaked open, you kept your chin up. You were confused when you didn't see anyone standing there. Odd. You thought Wing would be the one to answer the door. The sound of someone clearing their throat prompted you to look down. In front of you was a kid in his white gi with a red karate belt tied around his waist. His aura was stronger than a normal persons' as well. He must be a student.

"Are you (Y/N)?" The kid asked.

"Sure am. Who are you?"

"My name is Zushi. Master has been waiting for you."

Right to the point then. Uncharacteristic for a kid his age, but hey you'd rather not lollygag anymore than you already have.

Zushi lead you further into the relatively bare and tidy house. Wing was clearly a minimalist judging from the major lack in decorations. Maybe it was because he brought his students here. Eh. No point in judging someone on their decorations alone.

In the living room a black-haired man sat in a blue armchair. He was positioned in front of the couch, the two pieces of furniture separated by a black coffee table. The man himself didn't look too interesting with his square framed glasses and thin stature. If you were less experienced, you may be wondering if this man was really supposed to be your teacher, but you knew better than to assumed things based on looks. His aura was different from most peoples'. Much stronger and more refined, kinda like the kid but obviously more intense.

"Hello, Master Wing," you bowed, "my name is (Y/N)."

"Yes, I know." He was just as soft spoken in person as he was over the phone. He gestured towards the couch. "Please, take a seat. And just Wing is fine."

You took a seat and Zushi followed, sitting at the opposite end. 

"We spoke on the phone about your progress with your training. I apologize for being so vague, I imagine that was a little frustrating."

Yeah, maybe just a little when you were venturing into a completely foreign city to meet a complete stranger.

"I'm sure you had a good reason."

"I did, yes. There are some things that can't be discussed over the phone. You never know who is listening."

Oh lord. You really hoped he wasn't the paranoid type. Then again, caution wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

"I wanted to talk to you about Nen."

You froze in your seat. Nen. That word you had first heard that dreadful night. It had something to do with aura, you knew that much. As for any other information about it, you weren't sure. Nothing popped up when you searched for it on the internet. 

"Do you know anything about it?"

"I...I'm not sure." You looked away from both of them, suppressing a shiver. You had never talked about that night before, not with anyone. You had implied to Leorio that something happened to you, but stubbornly refused to say what. "I think I've seen it used."

"Tell me about it."

Your eyes shifted between Wing and Zushi. You couldn't talk about it in front of the kid, but you weren't sure how to vocalize it. He was way too young to expose to this kind of shit. Thankfully, Wing took the hint.

"Zushi, would you please make us some tea?"

"Yes, Master."

The kid glanced between the two of you curiously before giving his teacher a nod and leaving. The two of you were silent for a moment, neither sure how to start this conversation. It wasn't one you wanted to have, but Wing was probably the only person in your world right now that would both believe and understand you.

"You had a negative experience with Nen user, didn't you?"

You nodded.

"Tell me what happened. I won't judge you if that's what you're worried about it."

You believed him, you really did, but this kinda thing wasn't really easy to get into. You adjusted your clothes and stared at your feet, trying to put the right words together. For so long you had tried to repress the whole even and pretend it never happened. Now you were calling back upon it. Your mind wanted to wander to literally anything else.

"I've never told anyone, you know. I was afraid of being blamed, as well as dragging other people into my stupid mess." You glanced up at him to get a read on what he was thinking, but he gave you nothing to work with. "Okay so there was this guy I was friends with a long time ago. We went our separate ways as kids, but he met up with me three years ago. Turns out, he could do the whole Nen thing or whatever."

Wing didn't interrupt your rambling. He kept his complete focus on you.

"As kids, the two of us have always been kinda weird, I guess. I've been able to see aura since I was a kid and I can expand my aura as well, but I usually get really tired when I do that. It looks like a big burst of steam."

Wing raised a brow at that and nodded for you to continue. You elected to leave out all the details of what you and Hisoka did in between your reunion and the getting to the rooftop. You weren't exactly proud of it now to say the least.

"Anyway, one night he takes me up to this rooftop and a bunch of guys come to ambush him. Apparently, he killed someone and they were hired to get revenge. I think all of those guys were Nen users."

"What makes you say that?" Wing finally asked.

Good question. There was so much going on at the time that you couldn't watch everything. There were a few distinct powers that stuck out in your mind.

"Well, some of them manifested weapons out of thin air, others were able to punch through the ground and teleport their fists. Things like that. And all of their bodies, including _his_ , were shrouded in like a ball of aura? That's the best way I can describe it."

"Yes, that was Nen that you saw then. Continue."

"Anyway, they attack him and—" your voice caught in your throat. That boy, that boy that pleaded for his life. You inhaled and exhaled deeply, pausing to focus your mind. You were almost done. Just a little more. "He killed every last one of them with ease. It's like he was a one-man army. And then he...he threatened to kill me too because my Nen wasn't where he wanted it to be."

Finally, everything was off your chest. Wing didn't blame you or even imply that it was your fault like you would expect someone to do.

"It sounds like this old friend of yours was not only a Nen user, but a Nen master. It's always unfortunate when such power falls into the wrong hands. What's his name by chance?"

Wow. You only just realized that you hadn't actually _said_ his name in years now.

"Hisoka." You grimaced.

"I see."

Thankfully, Wing didn't press you any further. Otherwise your barely contained breakdown might break loose. After a quiet moment of contemplation on Wing's side, Zushi returned with the tea and set it on the table. He looked over at his master almost as if he were asking permission for something. Wing nodded and Zushi went back to the couch next to you.

"Why do you want to learn Nen, (Y/N)?"

By the intensity of his gaze, you assumed he was testing you, testing to see if you were only out for revenge.

"For self-defense," was your automatic answer, but after Leorio and Iko gave you hope again, there was more, "and I want to be strong enough to protect those who need it, especially my friends."

With that Wing gave you a little smile.

"Very well. I will teach you."

His acceptance was enough to lift your spirits. Finally. One less obstacle in your journey to become stronger.

"Thank you, Master."

"When can you start?"

Oh. Well, that was quick and yet another good question. You still had some things that needed to be sorted out back at home.

"I probably won't be back for a little while. Moving out and all that. Then I'll have to get a job and a place here."

"Is that so? Then I propose that you live here with Zushi and I for the five weeks before the hunter exam. Granted, I would need some assistance with chores and living expenses."

Wow. Uh. That is probably the last thing you thought he would say. Wanting to move you in after one conversation? This man might be just a little too trusting or he was just generous. Maybe both.

"Oh no I couldn't impose on you like that."

Even after one meeting, you couldn't really be sure what kind of person Wing really was, but Master Ena did trust him. His aura held no malicious intent or bloodlust and he had listened and believed your story.

"It's not a bother. I'll be able to teach you more effectively this way."

Well, you could always keep your apartment back home for the time being until the hunter exam was finished. Then you could make the decision on whether or not to move here. Plus, it was less risky this way. If things didn't go well, you weren't locked into a lease.

"Alright. I'll have to bring some things from my apartment tomorrow." 

"Of course."

"Thank you, Mr. Wing."

____________________

You only brought the essentials with you to Wing's house, along with the clothes you frequently wore. He showed you to your room upstairs and let you unpack your things.

The room like the rest of the house was minimalist with only a bed, a dresser, and bedside table with a lamp on it. On the right of the bed, there was a large window where you could see the street down below. With the curtains shut and the lamp off, your drifted into a deep sleep.

Running. The running never seems to stop. It's always the same hall, the same motions, the same ending. You can never escape. Ducking into any room will only lead you right back to the start of that bloodstained hall. Each second you waste, he drew nearer—the shadow in the corner of your eye, the beast that never rests. He's always here.

Sometimes he taunts you, other times he's silent, but you can always feel his yellow eyes upon you. Tonight didn't start out any differently. He's right behind you, almost close enough to grab you. The doors at the end of the hall disappear and you're met with a solid wall. You bang on it fervently, trying to smash through it and get away. Too late.

A clawed hand grabs your shoulder and whips you around, shoving you painfully into the wall. His hand wraps around your throat and digs into your windpipe. No matter how hard you fight, you can never get away. He always counters every new move you try on him. Pain doesn't faze him.

"(Y/N)!" A new voice calls. One that you recognize but can't quite place. 

Behind him, a figure bathed in white light calls out to you. It's holding something in its hand that the darkness in front of you is blocking out. His grip on your neck loosens. He turns to look at what the figure is presenting you. If you can wiggle away, you may be able to grab it—

"(Y/N)!"

You peeled open your eyes to see Zushi standing next to your bed, ready for the day to begin. You glanced over at your phone to see that it was 7 a.m. Gross. You barely powered through your morning shifts back at the shop. You had no idea how you were going to do training right about now. Oh well.

"Come on, let's go!"

Sure was a bossy little thing. You tried to stop the glare that was forming on your face. Zushi wasn't fazed by it. Instead, he left you to get ready.

Your dream last night was...different to say the least. They usually ended with you dying or being victimized in some way by him. Sometimes Leorio was there to help you escape, but he was still always hunting you. But this time...this time it was like someone was offering you something. Something to help you fight back. No time to reflect on it now. It was only a dream.

After having breakfast with the two of them, you woke up a bit more. They really were quite pleasant in the morning too. By the time you finished, you were ready to train.

"Zushi, for the time being I want you to continue practicing your Ten," Wing glanced over at Zushi.

"Osu."

"And (Y/N), I'll begin with an explanation of Nen." Wing, already standing by the white board, wrote the words "Ten, Ren, Zetsu, and Hatsu" on it. For whatever reason, the word Zetsu seemed familiar, like you'd heard it before. "Nen is the ability to control your aura. Every living being, as you may know, has an aura. It is also called life energy."

You did know that, but were excited to hear it properly explained anyway.

"You should know something before we begin, (Y/N)." He was regarding you with a far more serious expression now.

"What is it, Mr. Wing?"

"Nen is a dangerous power and is only as strong as your will. This means that the public is not permitted to know about Nen."

It's no surprise that most people didn't know about Nen then. Hell, apparently you had potential or whatever and you didn't even know about it. Hisoka was initially pretty cryptic about the whole topic while still dropping some hints. At the time, you chalked it up to him being a pathological liar. Turns out there was a reason for it.

"I know it's dangerous," your eyes fell to the floor. "But how dangerous is it?"

"If a non-user is attacked with Nen, you can kill using will power alone. The only way to protect against Nen, is to use it yourself."

Holy shit. Your eyes widened. You knew it was strong, but _that_ strong? You never realized just how easily Hisoka could've killed you then.

"How is that even possible?" It's not that you didn't believe him, but it just seemed so crazy. Sure, attacking with Nen made sense, but will power alone?

"Hm." Wing brought a hand to his chin, his brow furrowed as he glanced over at Zushi. "Let me explain the four exercises first and then I'll show you, alright?"

"Yeah, okay."

"From what you've told me, it seems that your aura nodes are already open. However, you lack control which is why we are going to start with practicing ten."

You glanced over at Zushi who appeared to be meditating. You noticed that his aura was now contained around his body like a bubble.

"Wait what are aura nodes?" You finally asked, turning your attention back to Wing.

"The pores in your body where aura escapes." You gave him a nod and he returned his focus to the white board. "Ten is the ability to build up and control your aura. By doing so, you make your body tougher and slow the effects of aging. This is what Zushi is doing right now."

Ah. So that's what those guys were doing against Hisoka then. Ten.

"Next is Ren which is what I will be demonstrating after my lecture. Ren is the ability to produce more aura. It is essential for building power. Zetsu closes your aura nodes, effectively hiding your presence. It is also helpful for recovering from fatigue."

You couldn't hide your little "aha" reaction. Zetsu. That's what you used to hide from Hisoka! You hadn't even realized it.

"What is it?" Wing asked.

"Oh, I actually used Zetsu to hide from the guy I told you about."

"Excellent. It seems you do have a lot of potential, just as Ena mentioned." He smiled at you briefly before resuming his lecture. "Finally, we have Hatsu. Hatsu is the release of your aura after using Ren to boost it."

This was all a lot to take in. You couldn't imagine going from no knowledge of aura to this. Perhaps this was another reason why Master Ena kept you with her for so long. Maybe she thought you weren't ready at the time. Still, you wondered what would happen after you learned all of this. How much would really change for you?

"You've already seen Hatsu in action."

You noticed the way Zushi perked up at the sound of that, breaking his concentration from what looked like his meditation.

"What you told me the night we met," he said, seeming to realize that Zushi was now tuned in. "The summoned weapons and punching through the ground, that was Hatsu. We'll discuss that further at a later point. For now, let's start with what malicious Nen feels like. Afterwards, we'll focus on Ten."

Wing shifted into a squat with his hands crossed over each other. His natural smile fell into a neutral expression and he closed his eyes.

"Begin with Ten. I focus my soul into a single point. Next is Zetsu. Make your will known, whether it be verbally or mentally."

He paused for a moment and you noticed that Zushi was paying complete attention to the two of you, with his focus more on Wing. His Ten was still active. The next thing Wing said immediately drew your focus back to him.

"I will kill you."

Since when did he become so intimidating? As far as you were aware, he hadn't done anything just yet. Almost as soon as the thought was in your head, Wing began to change. His aura shifted to a light purple and dread pooled in your gut. What the fuck? 

"And this...is Ren."

A wave of purple crashed over you, his aura intensified and projected towards you. Your body was paralyzed. You could feel it start to tremble. It wasn't just that you were petrified either. It was almost...painful. You didn't have the will power to see if Zushi was alright. Fuck, it was like you were back on the rooftop that night when Hisoka was murdering those men while you were pinned to the wall.

Wing's eyes filled with murderous intent zoned in on you with such intensity that you couldn't bring yourself to look away, no matter how badly you wanted to. In an abrupt motion, he nudged towards you and your body finally reawakened. You stumbled back from him, falling straight on your ass and throwing up an arm to shield your face. And just like that, the bloodlust was gone and Wing was back to his normal smiling self.

"I used Hatsu, putting my will into action. Do you understand now? How Nen can kill?" 

"Yeah." Pushing off the ground, you finally got back to your feet.

"Zushi here was largely unaffected by my bloodlust because of his Ten." He gestured towards the boy. "Ten is purely defensive and will protect from attacks like the one I just demonstrated."

You glanced at him, noting that what he said was true. He wasn't shaken up at all. Finally, your body seemed to return back to normal now that you weren't fearing for your goddamn life.

"I'm ready to learn it."

Truth be told you never wanted to feel the way you just did again. Now armed with the knowledge that it was that easy to kill a non Nen user, you absolutely had to learn Ten at the very least. Especially before a test like the hunter exam that you knew to be dangerous. At least _some_ of the people crazy enough to attempt it had to be Nen users.

"First, I want you to sense your aura around you. Open your aura nodes and then we can begin."

Open your aura nodes, huh? It's usually not something done consciously, but at least you already knew how to do it. An easy first step. You took a natural stance and closed your eyes, focusing on the energy surrounding you. Steam rising, a kettle on a stove. One by one, your nodes opened and allowed your aura to flow freely from you.

"Listen carefully. Now you need to focus on containing your aura in your body. Close your eyes."

You followed his instructions without question, keeping your focus on your aura with his voice in the background.

"Imagine it flowing like blood through your body, from your head to your shoulders and down your arms and hands. Imagine it continuing down to your legs and into your feet. Visualize it starting to slow and swirl around your body."

As soon as he spoke, you followed his instructions. Your mind conjured up an image of a small waterfall in a densely vegetated forest that spilled into a little pool on lower ground, trickling away into the river. You opened your eyes. Your aura, now feeling like you had an extra set of clothes on your entire body—like a protective shell—closed around your body, much like Zushi's.

Wing smiled. You did it! You were performing Ten!

"Well done. For now, I want you to focus on maintaining a constant state of Ten. Hold onto those images. Within no time, you'll be able to perform it even in your sleep."

"Osu."

Once again, malicious purple aura swirled around Wing and you naturally took a step back.

"Let's try this again."

Just as he did previously, he propelled his bloodlust towards you, but this time, the effects were far less severe. You could still sense the dark intentions, but it wasn't paralyzing. Before it had been like you were drowning in an icy lake, but now it was more like you were standing in the cold winter air with protective clothing. Manageable. It was manageable.

"Before, standing in this would have made you collapse in pain. Now, I'm going to push you to find your limit. Prepare yourself."

And so your real training finally began.

____________________

You practiced your Ten as much as possible, even when doing chores or other daily activities. At Wing's instruction, you also meditated during the day, finding that it brought you a sense of peace as well. To assist in strengthening your Ten, Wing had launched his bloodlust at you until either you couldn't take anymore, or you were able to properly withstand it. It only took you a few days to get acclimated to it. You could tell that he was impressed.

In the meantime, you were still messaging Leorio and Iko almost every day. Leorio would talk about how the coffee shop was doing since he apparently remained there in the meantime. Same costumers with a few new faces here and there. Nothing too interesting. He had also said that he was doing a lot of distance running and weightlifting to train. You wanted to tell him about your own training but knew that would go against Wing advising you to keep it a secret.

Nothing really changed with Iko. Sometimes she would send you pictures of things she thought you might like in the antique shop that you hadn't seen before. Other times they'd get something new and she'd tell you about it. You wanted to ask how her grandma was doing, but you knew that it might seem a little odd to take interest in her after only meeting her once. Plus, you didn't want to give away Master Ena's little secret. For now, you chose to let Iko do most of the talking.

It was about two weeks before Wing finally asked you to fight him. At first, you were worried he was going to ask you to fight Zushi, but he told you that Zushi wasn't ready for that yet.

Zushi hid it very well, but you could tell the boy was offended that his master thought he was too weak to face you, especially since he had already spent several months mastering Ten while you were progressing much faster. You encouraged the boy by telling him that you were older and had experienced real fights with a Nen master—if you could call your sparring with Hisoka a fight—so of course you were stronger.

You weren't really sure what you were expecting when you fought Wing, but being knocked on your ass so quickly wasn't it. He may be skinny, but he was tough as hell and clearly experienced.

"You have excellent reflexes."

"Master Ena said the same thing."

He offered his hand to help you up, but you waved him off and climbed to your feet on your own. You thought the two of you might go another round, but Wing seemed to be considering something.

"(Y/N), do you know anything about Heavens Arena?"

The name sounded familiar, but it didn't ring any bells.

"No clue."

"You've surely seen it already. It's actually in this city. The fourth tallest building in the world."

Ohhhhh so that's what the building in the center of the city was called. Yes, you had definitely seen it already. How could someone miss it?

"What makes you bring it up?" 

"It's a place where people go to fight."

You had an idea where he might be going with this.

"So it'd be good for training then?"

"Exactly."

You'd be lying if you said you weren't at least a little excited to fight people. If it was an arena, then that means the weakest warriors would be weeded out, right? You could only assume that you'd be facing the best of the best. Well, assuming you weren't one of the weak ones weeded out.

"Well, when should I go there?"

Wing chuckled.

"I should've known you'd be eager to start. You'll need to train a bit more with Nen, so it really depends on you. However, you'll want to wait until after the hunter exam."

Nen? Did that mean there were other Nen users there? Well, that was a bit...nerve wracking. However, it certainly would put your skills to the test. Besides, you wouldn't really have to start thinking about it until after the exam.

"Sounds like fun."

After that, five weeks passed in no time and the hunter exam was set to begin in two days’ time. 

"Thank you for helping me prepare." You bowed to Wing. "Hopefully, I'll be a hunter next time you guys see me."

"You will be," Wing assured you.

After sending Leorio a text that you were ready to meet up with him, you left to find the exam site.

____________________

By talking to the right people, coupled with your own research and some strange puzzles and trials of worth, you managed to find a navigator to take you to the exam site just in time. This year it was taking place in Zaban City.

You anticipated that the exam site would be somewhere big and official, pristine. With the prestige and salary a single Hunter earned alone, you assumed the Hunter Association had enough extra Jenny to throw into such an important test. Maybe it'd be like some cool military looking base or something like that. Hell, maybe even a secret bunker.

The doors finally opened. Well...this wasn't what you expected to walk into. It was actually like a secret bunker, but it was all dingy and gross. Would it kill them to clean it up or something? Whatever. It'd get the job done.

The dingy secret bunker was full of applicants. Huh. You hadn't expected this many people to be here. Not only that, but they all had this intensity about them. The mood was less than friendly to say the least, but if that got them through the test, so be it. You weren't here to make friends.

"Excuse me."

A voice from beneath you called you out of your musings. Glancing down, you were greeted with a small lime green creature in a suit. He handed you a badge with a smile.

"Your number badge is 394. Be sure to wear it on your chest at all times and take care not to lose it."

394?! Including you, there were 394 people prepared to take this exam? Damn. And they all beat you here too.

With that, he was off. Looking around the crowd, you spotted quite a few interesting people. Well, interesting might be a nice word for some of them. There was a white-haired boy that caught your eye, as well a man with pins in his face, but no Leorio. You were worried he wasn't going to show.

"Hi!"

Your attention left the crowd and drifted to the stout man standing before you. Your eyes were immediately drawn to his large nose, followed by his brown hair and blue shirt. Number 16. So he got here pretty early then. He wasn't strong, you could tell that much by his aura, so he either had help or he's been here before.

"Hi?" Your arms were crossed tightly over your chest. Everyone else here seemed to be pretty intense, but for whatever reason he was trying to be friendly.

"My name's Tonpa, what's yours?"

"(Y/N)."

You didn't particularly see any harm in giving him your first name. Judging by his physique and power level, he wasn't going to be here long. Even with your standoffish response, Tonpa wasn't backing down. Weird. Something felt off about him.

"Is this your first time taking the hunter exam?"

"Yeah...why?"

"Well, I figured you might want some advice if you were a rookie. It's my thirty-fifth time and I know there are lots of people here eager to win."

Thirty-fifth time? That was...unbelievable. Either his conviction didn't match his skill level, or he just enjoyed taking the test. Then again, to make it this far thirty-five times, he has to have some skill, right? Weird.

"I'll be fine on my own, thanks."

"Oh. Okay then."

You almost felt a little bad with the sad way he waddled off, but you trusted your gut on this one. Your instincts about people were rarely off—not including Hisoka. Besides, you already had a friend coming...if he wasn't already here. Then again, knowing Leorio he'd be waiting by the door like you were for him.

You decided to look through the crowd after a few more people came in. Maybe he really was already here. Unfortunately, the farther you went in, the denser it got. Hell, you ended up bumping into a man in white clothes, but only acknowledged him with a brief apology.

Well, might as well return to your old spot. There's no way to find him in this crowd. At the entrance, you spotted a group of four. A young, black haired boy in green clothes, a blond young man in a blue and red tunic, and finally the person you were looking for. Unfortunately, Tonpa was there too. 

"Sure took you long enough to get here." You chuckled as you approached Leorio.

Now that you were closer, you could see the other two a bit better. Wow. The black haired one was really young. Should a kid like him even be taking a test like this.

"(Y/N)!" His face lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree. It's like he hasn't seen you in ages.

"Wow did you actually make friends?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Hi, I'm Gon!" The kid greeted you first, extending his hand to you. Ah. Childhood joy. If only you still had that amount of energy.

"(Y/N)," you gave him a far warmer greeting than Tonpa got. You glanced over at him almost as if you were rubbing it in.

The blond boy glanced over at Leorio before deciding to introduce himself as well.

"My name is Kurapika."

"Nice to meet you."

Kurapika and Gon. You were glad to see that Leorio had help along the way to get him this far.

Tonpa cut into your greetings and began to talk about the other people he had seen here. You ended up tuning him out. Sure, maybe he had some good advice, but you couldn't help losing focus.

You felt a shift in the air, followed by a scream. Everyone's attention snapped over to the source of the noise. A man fell to his knees with his arms outstretched. From the hands to the shoulders, you watched as they disintegrated into nothing more than flower pedals. How the fuck? Was that his Nen or something? No. No, the man was panicked, terrified. Someone had done this.

Your gaze shifted to the perpetrator. Your blood ran cold. Not too far away, you saw a man in a white crop top with card suits on the back. The shoulders of the shirt were puffy, followed by pink arm wraps matching the under shirt. A yellow towel wrapped around the waist of white pants, and at the end of the pants were black Jester shoes. Pale skin, red spiked up hair, weird fucking clothes...anywhere he goes, that man stuck out like a sore thumb. Hisoka.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note. So I know Hisoka here is 26. And I know his age in the series is thought to be 28 (even though it's never technically been revealed as far as I'm aware) but at what point in the series is that? Is he 28 currently (the anime took place over the course of two years I believe) or was he 28 during the hunter exam?


	7. The Hunter Exam - Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi yes don't mind me replying to nearly every comment on this. Seriously though, your comments mean so much to me and I'm very thankful that you guys take the time to write them! They help me so much with motivation! This probably sounds cheesy but I mean it. Big preesh to all of you.

This can't be real. It has to be some kind of cosmic joke, right, him taking the exam the same year as you? Sure, it was expected that he'd get a license to kill at some point, but you would've thought he'd do it much sooner. 

His voice ringing out in the tunnel was enough to make you take a step back. The voice that haunted your nightmares for years, the voice that permeated your waking memories—both highs and lows—it was here now. Real. If only you had been prepared, you might have been able to hide your fear. Luckily, the boys around you hadn't noticed. Maybe you should use Zetsu to ensure Hisoka didn't see you. No. No, he would notice someone's energy disappearing completely. He hadn't seen you yet. If you could just avoid him this whole test, you'd be safe. There were four hundred other people here. He wouldn't pick you out of the crowd.

"(Y/N)?" Leorio's voice brought you back to the present. His steady hand clutching your shoulder had never been more appreciated than now. "Are you okay?"

"Stay away from that man. Even if that means dropping out of this test, you _have_ to stay away from him." It wasn't just a warning to him; it was a warning to Gon and Kurapika too. Hell, even Tonpa. Though with the look on Tonpa's face, you'd say he already knows Hisoka.

"You've met number 44 before then?" Tonpa was the one to ask.

"Yes." You didn't give him anymore than that. Tonpa took the opportunity to fill the others in. You only half caught his words, still in a bit of a daze from the shock of it all.

"Almost killed an examiner he didn't approve of—"

That sounds exactly like the Hisoka you knew. So he technically failed something then? Might be the first time in his life. Good. Serves him right. You only wished that he didn't have to take it now, but...you can't control everything. At this point, you really were starting to think that fate was having a laugh by pushing the two of you together.

While musing, you completely lost track of what was going on. Leorio was suddenly spitting out orange soda while Tonpa apologized for it apparently being out of date. Well, if you weren't suspicious enough of him before, you certainly were now. At least Leorio hadn't actually drank any of it. You could have smacked him right about now for taking a drink from a stranger.

The sound of a clock ringing hushed any conversation that was happening. Up ahead, the wall creaked and groaned as it began to rise, shaking the floor and unveiling a shadowy pathway ahead of you. Huh. Not a secret bunker after all. More like a secret tunnel. 

"I apologize for the wait." A new voice said from up ahead. You couldn't see the speaker through the crowd. "The entry period for applicants is officially over. Without any further ado, the hunter exam will officially commence."

Here we go. This is it. The other applicants, including Leorio and Gon, seemed more than eager to get this show on the road. Hell, Gon was even smiling. Well, at least he was excited about the upcoming challenge. You had been a bit excited to put your training to the test, but Hisoka kinda killed that for you.

"One final warning, if you find yourself lacking in luck or skill, I suggest you withdraw now. You may end up seriously injured or dead."

You knew that much already and had accepted the risks a long time ago. You were fairly confident that the test itself wouldn't kill you...but rather someone. Even so, you couldn't give up, not on something that could change the course of your life.

"For those who may wish to leave, kindly exit through the elevator behind you. The rest of you may follow me."

He was definitely an examiner then. Not surprising with the kind of entrance he made. You only wished you could get a good look at him.

Not one person left the room. It wasn't really that surprising. You had worked hard to get here and imagined the others had done the same. Most knew how dangerous this test was going into it.

"Right then. All 404 applicants will participate in phase one."

Phase one? There's more than one phase? Well shit. Even your research hadn't brought that up. How many phases were there then? Only one way to find out.

The crowd ahead of you started to move and up ahead you caught glimpses of the man leading it all. You couldn't make out details, but you could see his purple hair and the weird way he was walking. You thought he might be wearing a suit.

"I was hoping some people would leave," Leorio said.

"Well if you didn't, I doubt anyone else would." You couldn't help yourself. He was far too easy to rile up sometimes.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!"

Just then you realized what was happening. You were picking up speed. And not just you. The whole crowd was, probably because of the examiner. Was this a distance run then? The man never said how far you'd be following him for and no one wanted to ask. That's fine. You could handle a run. It just might be boring as hell without any music.

"I never introduced myself. My name is Satotz, your first phase examiner. My duty is to lead you all to the second phase."

Ah. So he was the examiner, just as you expected. You wondered what the second phase would be. Hopefully, something more interesting.

"Whatever happened to the first phase?" Some guy called out.

"This is the first phase. All you have to do is follow me to the second."

"That's it then?"

"I can't tell you when or where you'll arrive. Only that you need to follow."

There you have it. Not knowing how long you'll have to run or where you're going can be taxing for the unprepared mind. And then there was the physical aspect of it as well. You were thankful you had the foresight to train as heavily as you did. 

"So it's an endurance test then?" Leorio said with a smile, swinging his briefcase alongside himself. "Sounds perfect for me."

"Oh, that's right. You trained for distance running, didn't you?" You chimed in.

"Sure did."

The four of you ran alongside the others in silence, following behind Satotz down the long winding tunnel. You had been running for at least an hour straight and the tunnel hadn't shown any sign of ending. There was no light at the end.

Your mind kept spiraling to places you didn't want it to go. Just knowing that _he_ was up there somewhere was enough to keep you on edge. What would you do if he did see you? Run away maybe? You knew well enough that you weren't ready to face him yet. You could only hope that you wouldn't have to deal with it.

"You wanna talk about what happened back there?" Leorio asked as the three of you ran side by side. "With number 44?"

You didn't say a word.

"Look. I never asked when you'd get that far away look on your face in the past. I know something happened to you, but I figured you didn't want to talk about it. But, (Y/N), if you don't do something about it now, you'll never pass this exam."

You knew he was right. This kind of place required absolute focus and mental fortitude. The anxiety would eat you alive.

"It's Hisoka, isn't it? That man from the beginning?" Kurapika was the one to cut in this time. "I know you and I just met, but Leorio's right."

"Yes. It's him. Listen," you glanced at Leorio, "I was shocked before, but now I know he's here. Maybe I'll tell you what happened someday, but not today. All I can say is that I've known him for a long time. I know how dangerous he is. And I know that you need to stay the fuck away from him. Don't give him a reason to be interested in you."

"And you're always calling me the dad friend," Leorio rolled his eyes, but upon seeing the stern look on your face, he continued. "Come on, am I the type of guy to put myself in unnecessary danger?"

"You're taking the hunter exam," Gon pointed out.

"That doesn't count," He immediately snapped back. "I don't want anything to do with Hisoka, okay, (Y/N)? Stop worrying."

Well, at least Leorio wouldn't go looking for a fight. He didn't seem like someone who would draw Hisoka's attention anyway. Still, you'd be sure to keep an eye out for him. Leorio

"Okay."

Three more hours passed and both you and Gon seemed to have no trouble keeping up. Idle chit chat with the boy revealed that he was on the search for his father—a rogue hunter that Gon had never met. Gon didn't seem to have any resentment towards him for leaving. It was more like curiosity. It's a damn good thing he wasn't your father or you'd be coming to lecture his ass.

"Why do you want to be a hunter?" Gon inevitably asked and you thought about how to phrase your answer. 

"To help people in need by getting rid of dangerous and cruel people. Defending the defenseless essentially. Sounds naive, I know."

"I think it's noble," Kurapika said.

"Been trying to tell her that for years," Leorio managed to huff out. You noticed he was starting to slow down.

With a glance up ahead, you noticed that people were starting to drop off at this point, collapsing from exhaustion. You didn't blame them. Running was hard enough as it is, but this amount of distance for the normal person? Honestly, you were surprised Leorio was still chugging along.

The white-haired boy you had seen at the beginning skated on by. Huh. Bringing a skateboard to something like this was smart. Made it much easier to keep up and it was far less strain on the body. Unsurprisingly, Leorio had to have a go at the kid about using the skateboard. At times you forgot the temper he had on him.

"The examiner only said to follow him," Gon cut into Leorio's lecturing, drawing the kid's attention away from Leorio.

"He's right. Kid's only using his resources to his advantage." You took Gon's side on this one. While Leorio may call it cheating, you'd say it was resourceful. "Wish I had thought of it."

"Whose side are you on?" Leorio snapped at you and you gave him a reassuring pat on the back.

"You should really work on your temper before you pop a blood vessel."

Leorio looked like steam was about to start coming out of his ears. As the two of you went back to running, you listened to the white-haired kid's conversation with Gon. Apparently, his name was Killua and both he and Gon were twelve years old. Damn. You couldn't even imagine doing something like this at their age. They were certainly some impressive kids.

The more distance covered, the more you noticed Leorio was lagging behind. Killua and Gon had pulled ahead, along with Kurapika, but you elected to stay with Leorio. His suitcase fell to the ground and he stopped with his hands on his knees.

"Go," was all he could push out between labored breaths.

"I'm not leaving you behind." You turned back and grabbed his briefcase for him, standing there and waiting for him to continue. You knew he wouldn't give up this easily. "How are you gonna become a doctor if you fail this test?"

Leorio's eyes shut and he clenched jaw, his lips parting in a bit of a snarl. Got him. His entire body tensed and he rocketed forward, catching up with the main pack in a matter of seconds. He let out a string of curses. At some point, Leorio had taken off his suit jacket and shirt, leaving just his tie and his badge. You hadn't a clue why he'd leave his tie on, but elected not to tease him just this once.

Up ahead, the course lead to a huge set of stairs with no end in sight. In the elevator, you'd gone down so the stairs must be taking you back up to ground level. You imagined the tunnel might be coming to an end soon enough.

The two of you finally caught up to Kurapika on the stairs. Upon seeing Leorio's state of dress, Kurapika shed his tunic as well. He appeared to still be doing well on energy like you were.

"Why do you want to be a hunter?" Kurapika asked. "Is it seriously only for the money?"

Only for the money? Since when did Leorio only care about money?

You knew the answer to the question, but instead chose to keep your mouth shut. It'd be best for Leorio to explain. For the first time, you pulled ahead a bit to give the two a bit of room to talk. You'd probably end up butting in if you didn't. From here you could listen in on their conversation.

Leorio was being really weird about answering it for some reason and Kurapika didn't hesitate to push back. 

"That's not like you."

Damn right it wasn't. Tensions rose between the two seeing how Leorio refused to give Kurapika the real answer for some reason. You wondered why. There's no shame in his goal. In fact, you'd say he might be one of the most admirable people you've ever met.

Scarlet eyes? Kurta clan? You had never heard of either of those before. God it was killing you not to turn right back around and ask questions. No, they were having a bonding moment. You could interrupt later.

"So that's why the Phantom Troupe attacked you?"

Now the Phantom Troupe was a name you had heard before. You weren't sure who from, but you knew they were a gang. Not just any gang either. They were the most dangerous band of thieves on the planet. They didn't hesitate to kill. 

You just felt bad for Kurapika. He lost everyone he ever knew—his family, his friends, his entire community. The last of his kind. You couldn't imagine that kind of grief. God, you wanted to give the kid a hug.

"If I had money, my friend would still be alive!"

There it was. He had mentioned it to you not too long ago. A curable illness took him, one that no one could afford to treat. That's why Leorio wanted money. So he could pay to become a doctor and care for his patients free of charge. You couldn't wait to see him succeed.

After that you slowed down a bit to run beside him. Before you knew it, Gon and Killua passed the three of you, the latter taunting Leorio about his age.

"See, it's not just me who thinks you look old." You tried to help lighten up the mood from the previous discussion. 

Gon and Killua charged on ahead and some childish part of you was tempted to race them. Your legs were burning a bit at this point, but nothing too difficult to manage. In no time at all, the tunnel seemed to finally be coming to an end. Light spilled out from the end of it and all the applicants that had gotten there before you guys were waiting. Looks like a lot of people had withdrawn on the way there.

As you handed Leorio his briefcase, your eyes scanned the crowd for a certain someone. You didn't even realize you were doing it. That red hair and his tall stature was basically a honing beacon or something. He was up ahead in the crowd, but not far enough away. Of course he made it this far. 

The platform was surrounded by grass and dense fog.

"Is this the second phase then?" You asked Gon, seeing how he and Killua were both sitting together on the pavement.

"No. Mr. Satotz said we still have a long way to go."

Oh. That wasn't what you wanted to hear, but you were still up for it. Besides, after running that monotonous course, there's no way in hell you'd let anything stop you from getting to the second phase.

The fog lifted enough to make out the surrounding area. There were trees all around you and dense vegetation, coupled with the chirps of birds and buzzing of insects. A forest maybe? 

"This is the Milsy Wetlands. Also known as Swindler's Swamp," Satotz announced. "We'll have to cross it to make it to the second phase of the exam."

A swamp then. Fun.

"The animals here use deceit to trick and consume their human prey. So be careful. Should you be deceived, you'll surely die."

Gasps rippled throughout the applicant pool, followed by hushed murmurs. This is where it gets real then, where you're about to see some poor souls lose their lives. If you thought you were staying close to Leorio in the first half, you'd be extra clingy now. No way you’d let him die here. Or anywhere.

The metal door of the tunnel came down behind you just as a man was about to cross the threshold. Wow. That could've been you if you ran too slow. Seems like you were about to get a move on then.

"Don't underestimate these wetland animals. They will use any and every trick to fool their prey. All creatures here hunt using the art of deception. And that is why this place is also referred to as Swindler's Swamp."

You clenched your fists. The tunnel really had been nothing compared to this.

"Now then, stay close to me so you won't be deceived," Satotz turned his back, seemingly getting ready to take off.

"He's gotta be fucking with us, right?" Leorio said. 

"I don't think so," You responded.

"If we know they're trying to deceive us, there's no way in hell we'll fall for it."

"Don't fall for it!" A new voice from around the corner called. Oh great. What now?

"What did I just say?" Leorio's big mouth cut in.

A beat-up looking man limped around the corner, pointing an accusatory finger at Satotz. He was covered in scratches and his clothes were in tatters. 

"He's lying to you! I'm your real examiner."

Oh. So your first encounter with one of the deceivers then. Either Satotz was the liar or this strange man was. You wished you could open the aura nodes in your eyes, but using Nen might tip Hisoka and other Nen users off. One look at their auras would tell you everything you needed to know.

"Here! I'll prove it!" From around the corner, he dragged in what looked like a dead monkey with purple hair that resembled Satotz's. "This is a man-faced ape, loves the taste of human flesh. But they're not very strong. That's why they trick us into following them into the wetlands so they can pick us off one by one."

His story was really coming together now. Honestly, you weren't sure who to believe. The others didn't seem to be either. Even Leorio appeared to be convinced that Satotz was the liar. Satotz on the other hand didn't seem too concerned about defending himself. He hadn't said a word this whole time.

Cards went flying through the air towards both Satotz and the man. Satotz caught them in between his fingers, but the man wasn't so lucky. You should've known that _Hisoka_ would the first to kill anyone. He already maimed that poor man and now he killed this one as well. Seeing his limp form with cards sticking out of it was hauntingly reminiscent of your nightmares. No. You wouldn't fall down that path.

Your eyes shifted over to the clown. He chuckled to himself like the self-satisfying egoist he is, springing cards in between his pale hands.

"There we have it," Hisoka's eyes shifted to Satotz, standing in the middle of the path between the examiner and the man. "You're the real one then."

Satotz tossed the cards away and the man-faced ape ran for its life. Hisoka always managed to draw attention to himself, didn't he? And he had the _gal_ to claim that he was shy.

"Each of the examiners are hunters themselves, individually chosen by the exam committee to do this job free of charge. Any hunter could have easily deflected that attack."

So the clown did his own research then? How unlike him. Either that, or he picked it up from observation alone. It only made sense that the examiners were hunters. Who else would be better suited to judge whether or not someone was fit to become a hunter?

You couldn't help but wonder...could you have deflected that attack? You weren't sure. An ordinary playing card turned into a knife. Had to be Nen. You'd have to remember to ask Wing about it when you got back.

"I suppose I'll take that as a compliment. However, if you attack me again for any reason whatsoever, I'll be forced to report you for attacking an examiner and have you immediately disqualified. Do I make myself clear?"

"Of course."

Vultures swarmed the corpse of what you assumed was a man faced ape, picking away at his remains. Survival of the fittest you supposed.

"He was trying to confuse you and lure you away. Such deceptions as this one should be expected." Satotz said, walking towards the corpse. "Some of you were likely fooled by his ruse."

Your eyes immediately shifted to Leorio blushing. You wanted to make fun of him, but you weren't quite sure of Satotz's true identity either. You had a feeling traveling through the swamp was going to be anything but easy.

"If any of you lose sight of me when we enter the fog, you have no hope of reaching the second phase of the exam. This is you final warning. Now then, come along."

____________________

The farther you went into the swamp, the thicker the fog became. By staying with Leorio and Kurapika, it was no surprise that you did unfortunately lose sight of Satotz. That was fine though since you could see the front runners up ahead. Well, until the shadows of them started falling to the ground.

"Fuck," you stopped in your tracks, surveying the area. "What do we do now?"

Screams echoing through the swamp were abruptly cut short.

"We should keep moving," Kurapika said, guiding you two in a different direction. You wanted to check and see if those guys were okay, but at this point it was far too late.

You kept running, narrowly avoiding traps set by the swamp. You weren't really sure where you were going and the longer you ran, the less hope you had of getting out of here. Shit.

Up ahead you saw a circle of shadows surrounding someone. 

"Hold on." You told the other two, holding out your arm against Leorio's chest to stop him. "Slow down."

The three of you crept closer to see if it was either a deception or a group of hunter applicants. Thankfully, it appeared to be the latter. Wait a minute, who were they surrounding? They had weapons in their hands and standing in the center of it all, you could see Hisoka. What did he do now?

You couldn't quite make out what they were saying from here, but Hisoka must have said something inflammatory. The group rushed towards him and you outstretched a hand as if you could stop them. They were just normal people. They didn't stand a chance against him.

All except one of their bodies dropped to the ground after one slash of his card. The man stumbled back and fell, desperately trying to escape. Terrified. Hisoka's eyes were locked straight on his target. He stalked towards him, playing with him by letting the man crawl away. And then it happened. He threw the card and it stabbed through the man's skull, killing him instantly.

As he plucked the card from the man's skull, he turned to face the three of you. You froze. It was like someone poured cold water over you. Paralyzed. Your heart hammered against your rib cage. His eyes were locked with yours and there was this horrible smile on his face. He saw you. It was over.

"What about you three? Care to play examiner?"

You three...he wasn't just targeting you. That was enough to shock you out of your stupor. You hardened your expression, squaring your shoulders and tensing your body to strike. There was a new look of intrigue on his face, the same look he had when he fought you last. Excitement.

He was approaching you now with a slow, confident stride, and the other two weren't budging. A predator stalking its prey. Could you even move your body if you needed to attack him?

"You need to run," you told them quietly, "I'll hold him off."

"Are you kidding me?" Leorio growled. "You saw what he did. You don't stand a chance."

"Maybe so, but I stand a much better chance than either of you."

There was no time to explain it to them, but it was the truth. Leorio wouldn't budge.

"Listen, you two," Kurapika cut into your bickering. "On my mark, the three of us run in different directions. He won't chase after all of us."

You had no intention of running, but nodded as if you would. Leorio nodded as well. You could only hope that he would actually listen. Hisoka drew closer and closer, flicking a card between his first and second finger. Time ground to an absolute halt. A breeze swept over the three of you, birds scattered into the air. 

He raised the card up ever so slightly in preparation to attack. Kurapika finally made his move.

"Now, run!"

The other two took off in a dead sprint while you stayed behind. Hisoka watched the other two go before turning his attention back to you.

"Hm. I expected you to run as well," he smirked. "It's been a while, hasn't it, (Y/N)? Did you miss me?"

The fact that he was talking to you as if you were still his old friend was enough to make your blood boil. How fucking dare he? After everything that's happened, after killing even more people and threatening your friends...you couldn't let it slide.

"How could I miss that ugly mug?" you snarled. 

He only smiled, seemingly amused by your rage.

"You didn't think it was so ugly when I was fucking you."

No clever retort for that one. You weren't sure why it made you so angry. Maybe it was because he was right. You didn't think he was ugly then and he still wasn't now. Well, physically anyway. You hated yourself for even thinking that. 

You cast your eyes to the side in shame, trying to ignore the blush of embarrassment rising to your cheeks. Movement drew you back to where he had been standing. He was gone. What the hell? Had you imagined him there? No, behind you!

"It's unwise to take your eyes off your opponent."

You spun around on your heels and narrowly dodged his hand reaching for your neck. You latched on to his wrist to pull him towards you and pulled back your fist, preparing to strike his throat. His free hand snatched your wrist. You froze. You weren't sure why, but something about _him_ touching _you_ made you hesitate. 

"I've been waiting to get you alone, you know."

You couldn't mask your confusion and even less so the growing dread in your stomach. Now that the two of you were alone, what did he intend to do?

"What? You knew I was here?"

"You bumped into me. In the very beginning."

You vaguely remembered bumping into someone when searching through the crowd. It was him? How did you not notice?

He was the one to pull you forward in one abrupt move, sending a knee towards your stomach. Remembering the kind of damage he could deal with just one blow, your aura nodes opened and you shrouded your body with Ten in an attempt to toughen it. At the same time, you released his arm and punched him directly in the stomach. A blow for a blow. Hisoka responded by using his Ten as well.

He released you and you stumbled back while clutching your stomach, electing to keep your distance this time around. His hits still hurt just as much as you remember. He probably didn't have to hold back as much this time around.

"It seems you've found a teacher," he was smiling still, but it was different. Blissful almost. How could you forget he had a fighting kink? "I wonder what else you can do."

Ah. Well, now probably wouldn't be a good time to tell him Ten was as far as you had gotten. Sure, you knew how to fight now, but so did he. And he's been doing it a lot longer than you. You weren't ready for an encounter like this, not with your Nen so underdeveloped. 

Unfortunately, you didn't have to say a word. Hisoka could tell by your hesitation.

"Don't tell me you've only learned Ten in our time apart." The frown falling on his lips was less than pleasant. "Oh, (Y/N), didn't I warn you not to disappoint me? Such a pity."

"I just started a month ago!" You weren't sure why you were trying to defend yourself to him now.

"You've had years to practice." His eyes narrowed. "You squandered your time."

Oh no. The card was back too. Was this it? Was he actually going to kill you now? It's like your nightmares were coming to life before your eyes. You had watched your friends die at his hand far too many times, felt his card carve lines into your skin, fought against his bruising fist, and now, with those cold yellow eyes boring into you, you thought you might have to live your nightmares in your waking life. This was the end.

The sound of footsteps sloshing in the wet marsh drew nearer and there you saw him. Leorio rushing at Hisoka with a goddamn stick. What was that idiot thinking?

"Leorio no!"

Hisoka simply dealt him a swift punch in the face, knocking him unconscious. At least, you hoped he was only unconscious. The sight of your friend helpless on the ground was enough. Enough to pull you out of your stupor.

You were upon him in an instant, launching your foot at him and landing your second blow. A roundhouse kick to the temple. Hisoka stumbled back, stunned from the impact but only briefly. A move like that _should have_ knocked even him out, but he was still standing. Did he just moan? Well, hopefully that would be enough to get you off the kill list for now. 

He stood back up as if you hadn't hit him in the first place.

"Well, your fighting itself has certainly improved. Perhaps we can play a bit more later."

And just like that, his fist connected with your cheek just as it had Leorio's. You were sent to the ground from the impact. Your cheek stung from his blow, the pain fading into a dull constant ache. You were expecting another attack from Hisoka, but a flash of red came flying out of nowhere and hit him directly in the face. What the hell was—Gon! Oh no, he was here too?

You tried to get up to tell him to run, but your body stubbornly refused to move. You couldn't even focus on what they were saying. It was only when you saw Gon's body being held up by Hisoka's hand did you finally come to. He was choking Gon, just as he had done to you. Well, he had choked you several times after your first fight, but those times were different.

Fortunately, something possessed him to release Gon, followed by someone calling him on a walkie talkie thing. He scooped up Leorio and tossed him over his shoulder. As much as you wanted to protest, you were still reeling from his attack. There's no way you could carry him like this. At least the encounter was coming to a close.

"Can you find your way back?" He asked Gon to which Gon nodded. "Good boy."

His gaze turned to you and a smirk pricked at the corners of his lips.

"Don't get too relaxed. My business with you is far from finished, my dear."

'My dear?' Since when did he call you 'my dear?' It was always just 'dear.' You hated that you still remembered that. If he was still interested, did that mean he wasn't disappointed after all? It doesn't matter. You were wasting energy just thinking about it. You knew that he still had his sights set on you at the very least. Sounds like he'd be seeking you out too if he got the chance during the next phases of the hunter exam. After this encounter, you'd have to try even harder to avoid him. Maybe going so far as to use Zetsu when you can.

As he left the two of you with Leorio's unconscious body on his shoulder, your thoughts wandered to Gon. He landed a hit on Hisoka, even if it was by sneak attack. You knew the clown well enough by now to know he would be interested in Gon too. Poor kid. You could only hope that Leorio and Kurapika wouldn't catch his eye. It was too late for you, but maybe they could be saved.

"You alright, Gon?" You asked after Hisoka's form had disappeared. "Can you really get us back to the main group?"

"Yeah." He said in between unsteady breaths. He seemed pretty shaken up. Should've known that Hisoka would go after kids as well, the fucking bastard.

"Are you guys okay?!"

Kurapika's form appeared from the fog.

"Yeah," you said, "let's make our way back. Don't want to get left behind."


	8. The Hunter Exam - Trapped

It wasn't long before you reached the site of the second phase. All of the applicants were waiting outside of a gate. Looks like you made it just in time. Your eyes scanned the crowd, searching for your friend that Hisoka had essentially kidnapped.

As soon as Gon spotted Leorio, the three of you flocked over to him. His face was all swollen from where Hisoka punched him and he still looked a little out of it. Your fists clenched. You'd have to get Hisoka back for that at some point.

By the sounds of it, Leorio didn't remember what had happened. Not even a little bit. You supposed that was good. He'd probably want to try fighting Hisoka again if he did, especially if he knew what Hisoka had done to you and Gon.

The next phase of the hunter exam was cooking. You weren't sure why and neither were many of the applicants. In fact, not many seemed to be taking it seriously, especially the one guy with a ponytail who was currently mouthing off to the examiner. After all the running it was a bit anticlimactic to say the least. Whatever. Just follow the examiners' rules.

Finding and killing the pig wasn't too difficult, but cooking it to the lady examiner's tastes would be. She wasn't even trying very many of them. Before you even finished cooking yours, the male examiner was full and she failed every single one of you. Your heart dropped. After what just happened in the swamp? It can't really be over like that, can it?

Tensions rose among the applicants. One of them tried to attack the examiner and found himself flying into a wall. You glanced over at Hisoka. He had drawn a card and murderous intent was written all over his face. This was going to get ugly fast.

"It seems a bit excessive to fail every single applicant."

You all looked to the sky to identify the source of the new voice. An airship was hovering overhead and on the side of it was the symbol of the hunter association. The exam committee maybe? A person fell from the ship and landed on the ground like a goddamn superhero, kicking up dust and cracking the ground they landed on.

From the center of the dust cloud, an old man approached. Dressed in a white robe with blue accents, the fabric of his clothes fluttered in the wind, much like his long white ponytail and beard. He radiated absolute power.

"Who's the old guy?" Someone asked.

"He's the head of the exam committee," the female examiner answered, "Chairman Netero."

"I just work behind the scenes, nothing impressive," Netero smiled. "I only intervene in the exam when issues like this pop up."

Oh thank god. You were saved.

"Menchi, I've been informed that you've failed all of this year's applicants; your reason being their reluctance to challenge the unknown."

"No, I snapped when a candidate insulted gourmet hunters. I'm sorry, I let my emotions guide my decision." She admitted. "I see now that I'm not suited for this job. So I resign as examiner. Please let them retake the second phase."

"Well, that's just not going to work. Finding another examiner on such short notice would be impossible."

"I'm so sorry, sir."

"Not to worry. I have an idea. Continue fulfilling your job as examiner, but participate alongside the applicants in whatever test you choose. I'm certain that will make the applicants more comfortable with the results."

"You're right. I have just the thing." She turned to face you all. "We'll all be making boiled eggs."

Boiled eggs? Sounds easy, but with how this exam has been so far, you doubted that it would be.

After curious murmurs from the other examinees, you boarded the airship that was taking you to a place by the name of Split Mountain. You wanted to explore the airship more, but didn't have time to at the moment.

From above, you could see that the mountain had a deep crevice cutting through it. Once you got down there, the crevice seemed more like a canyon with its wide mouth and seemingly endless bottom. Strangely enough, there were webs inside of it holding the eggs you assumed you'd be boiling. Those webs looked a lot like spiderwebs. You hated it. There better not be any spiders involved in this, especially not ones big enough to make a web like this.

Menchi explained that the goal was to grab one of the eggs and bring it back up to the surface. How were you supposed to do that? Rock climbing? Just then, a strong gust of wind blew up from the canon.

Menchi jumped down into the ravine and grabbed onto the web. It was strong enough to support her weight. Interesting. The thing was, she didn't stop there. She waited for the right moment and swung, snatching one of the eggs and falling into the abyss. The others around you gasped in surprise, assuming that your examiner just kicked the bucket.

A strong gust of wind brought her and her egg back to the edge.

"That looks so fun!" Killua exclaimed.

"That's your idea of fun?" Leorio raised a brow.

"This ravine has updrafts." Netero explained. "When spider-eagles are born, they use this updraft to fly to safety."

Did he just say _spider_ -eagles? Oh, those bitches better not come crawling up here.

One of the applicants—the one that was punched into a wall—seemed in complete and utter disbelief at the task ahead. You could already tell that this is where his exam ended.

You were a bit nervous to complete this task, but you couldn't stop now—even if there were spider-eagles.

"I've been waiting for something like this!" Gon exclaimed, laughing as he jumped down.

Leorio, Kurapika, Killua, and you followed his lead, all grabbing onto the web. You knew better than to just go right away. Your friends did as well. A draft wasn't just going to carry you up when you wanted it to. You had to wait for the right moment to strike. When exactly that moment was...you weren't exactly sure.

Despite Menchi's warnings, the other applicants jumped down with you, putting strain on the web. Oh fuck. The edges were detaching from the sides of the ravine. The weight was too much.

Some of the others decided to go for it right away, ultimately meeting their demise.

"When are we supposed to go?" Leorio asked.

"Wait for it." Gon was able to recognize when the next draft would come. You were putting your life in the hands of a child. Fun.

Other applicants cracked under pressure as well, missing the draft and falling to their deaths. The web continued to lose its grip, threatening to break lose any second now.

A slight wind blew over you.

"Now!" Gon yelled and the lot of you let go. You grabbed onto your egg just in time before the draft carried you up to the surface.

The four of you smiled at each other. The hard part was over. All you had to do now was boil it.

A bunch of people dropped out after that. Not surprising. At least they'd still be around to try again next year.

After boiling the egg and biting into it, it was like an orgasm for your mouth. Damn. You understood why they were called dream eggs now. After a task like this, you had a lot more respect for gourmet hunters. Acquiring such exotic food couldn't be easy. The others understood as well, even ponytail guy.

By the time you returned to the airship, stars were twinkling in the black night sky. Until now, you hadn't really felt the stress of the day's activities—from the goddamn marathon in the beginning, to the encounter with Hisoka, to finally jumping down the canon to get those eggs. Your body was tired, but your mind couldn't be more active. You knew that your curiosity about the ship would need to be satiated before you could even think of going to bed.

The airship itself was pretty massive. Standing on the tiled floor of the main deck, the rest of the applicants had more than enough room to spread out. Glass windows surrounding the area allowed you to stare out at the ground far beneath you. As much as you wanted to admire it, your nerves wouldn't allow it. _He_ was on the other side of the room and when you got enough courage to peek at him, his eyes shifted right to you. He wasn't shy about eyeing you up and down either. You suppressed a shiver.

"Now then." The chairman drew your attention back to him. "I'll introduce myself properly to the remaining 42 applicants."

Only 42 left now? If the first two phases weeded that many people out, you were curious what the next phases would do.

"My name is Netero, chairman of the selection committee for the hunter exam. Nice to meet all of you."

Next to Netero was that green thing that gave you your badge at the beginning. Well, you supposed he was probably a man.

"And I'm his secretary Beans."

Beans. Cute name.

"I had originally planned to introduce myself during the final phase, but plans don't always work out." Netero chuckled, his eyes sweeping across the applicant pool. "I must admit there's nothing I love more than this feeling of tension in the air."

You could definitely do without the tension after a day like this. You'd most likely have to get used to it if you ended up working with other hunters.

"Having said that, I think I'll stick around for the remainder of the trip."

"We're scheduled to arrive at our destination tomorrow morning at eight a.m. exactly." Beans said. "You'll find dinner waiting for you in the dining hall."

God, eight in the morning was far too early. Sure, Zushi had been waking you up every day at seven, but that doesn't make mornings any less evil. At least they were gracious enough to provide the lot of you with dinner. This might be the last bit of reprieve you got before the end of the exam.

"You're also welcome to get some rest of course. You're free to do as you please until we contact you."

After that, the applicants—including the clown bitch—started to clear out. Killua and Gon left to explore the ship while you, Leorio, and Kurapika remained in the main room.

"Look at them. They have so much energy." Leorio slouched a bit. He looked like he was about to fall asleep at any minute. "I'm ready to go to bed."

"As am I," Kurapika joined in. "However, I still have some concerns. How many more phases are left in the exam?"

"Huh. Didn't think about that." Leorio said. "I don't think they've said."

"They haven't," you grumbled.

"After all the years that I've been at this," Tonpa approached the three of you. "It's usually about five or six."

You had three or four more left to go? That is, if Tonpa is even telling the truth. Right now, you were in no place to handle his mind games. Leorio and Kurapika would probably be alright on the airship. Besides, Leorio was an adult. He could take care of himself.

"Hey, I think I'll have a look around." You cut Tonpa off, patting Leorio on the shoulder. "I'll come back when I'm done."

"Don't stay out too long. You need to get some rest." Leorio scolded, as usual.

"Doctor's orders?" You teased and he just rolled his eyes. With that you were off.

The rest of the airship was just as large as the main deck. The halls to the quarters were well lit and the decor was simplistic. Cream colored floors and walls with blue at the bottoms and around the door frames. You kept walking.

You found yourself passing by the windows with benches in front of them, tempted to go sit there. Maybe you would after looking around a bit more. It might help you calm your nerves a bit. You passed by an open door. Well, you weren't one to resist peeping here and there.

The room looked like a school gym. Inside, chairman Netero was holding a ball while Killua and Gon were trying to snatch it from him. A game? Those two had enough energy to play a game? More impressive was the chairman. He was old, but he was absolutely schooling the boys. They couldn't touch him.

You couldn't help yourself. From the constant power he exuded, you had to take a peek. You opened your aura nodes and encased your body in Ten, noticing that the Chairman was also using Ten. Wing had mentioned that Nen masters were almost always in a state of Ten, even when sleeping. Now that you were looking at his aura, you could see that what you had been sensing was only the tip of the iceberg. Hell, you'd love to see what his Ren and Hatsu looked like.

Netero glanced at the door. Oh, he could probably sense your presence as well. Enough peeping for now.

You recalled that Wing had told you Zetsu in particular was helpful for recovering from states of fatigue. After grabbing a bite to eat in the dining hall, you went back to those benches and sat sideways on the blue edge of the window, resting your back against the wall. The cities down below looked like a bunch of stars burning bright.

Now that you were here, you shut off the flow of aura completely and allowed your body to recover while you sat there. You mulled over the day's events. One in particular kept replaying over and over. You couldn't stop it either. Hisoka had always done that to you, consumed your thoughts. In the past it had been infatuation, but now it was fear. Fear of what his intentions for you were. If he was still attracted to you—and you really hoped he wasn't—there's no telling how far he'd go to get what he wanted. It's not like he had a conscience to stop him.

You were almost completely relaxed when you felt a disturbance in the force.

"Enjoying the view?"

No. No god why? Why was he here? You were using Zetsu, he shouldn't have been able to find you. Well then again, someone's energy suddenly disappearing would probably tip any Nen user off. You thought he wouldn't bother you again until a little bit later.

Something in Hisoka had changed. It's like his restraint was wavering even more than it had in the swamp. You supposed it wasn't surprising. He had been bottled up all day without much of a release. The bloodlust lingering around him was almost enough to make you use Ten. No, he was obviously picking a fight with his aura alone. Your body wasn't in a place for any sort of physical altercation right now. But you were so vulnerable like this...what should you do?

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" You decided to treat him with disinterest. "Go bother someone else."

The one thing Hisoka didn't like was being ignored. You couldn't outright do that. That was like inviting him to try to get your attention. Instead, you elected to acknowledge him without looking at him.

"Don't be like that," he stepped closer to you, one hand sliding up your upper thigh. You forced yourself not to react and kept your attention to the window. "I just have a question for you, (Y/N)."

"What part of go away don't you understand?"

His hand crept closer to the inside of your thigh and squeezed at the flesh there. You clenched your fists. He dragged his nails across your leg, harsh enough that you could feel it through the fabric of your clothing and inched his way higher and higher upwards, testing how far you'd let him go. His index finger brushed against your crotch. You couldn't take it anymore. You relented by grabbing his wrist and forcing him to stop.

You finally looked at him and you shivered. His half-lidded eyes clouded with lust were focused on your lips. Oh god. He wasn't letting go of you either.

"Have you been with anyone else after me?" He leaned in closer.

"What?"

"Has anyone fucked you after me?"

The question took you by surprise. Why would he even care about something like that?

"What's it to you?"

The answer was no. Of course you hadn't been with anyone else after being burned by him. How could you be? You realized a little too late that your answer had been a poor one to give.

"So defensive," his hand was suddenly on your hip closest to the window, yanking you so that you were facing him and he was in between your legs. You gasped. You planted your hands firmly on his chest to keep him from advancing. "You're still so reactive to my touch."

"This isn't a good reaction, Hisoka," You snapped at him. "Get off of me."

You were blushing fiercely now, your eyes glancing up and down the halls. What if someone saw you with him? They'd definitely get the wrong idea. You tried to squirm out of his touch without engaging in a fight. It wasn't really working too well.

"Oh the things I could do to you, (Y/N). If you keep squirming like that, I might not be able to help myself."

You immediately stilled. What he meant by that couldn't be more obvious. That was the last thing you wanted from him right now.

"You never answered me."

"Fine. I've fucked someone else, okay? Now fuck off."

"You're lying."

"What are you, a mind reader? Why do you even—"

Your arms collapsed from the force of his chest. His hands left your hips and instead met the sides of your face, preventing you from pulling away. He crushed his lips to yours with bruising force as if he were taking the day's pent up aggression on you. His presence was suffocating, like you had been thrown into a river with concrete shoes. No escape, no way back to the surface. Drowning.

If you weren't already embarrassed, your body's reaction guaranteed that you would be. You hated him so goddamn much for all that he's put you through, what he's done to Leorio and Gon. Why did you kiss him back, even if only for a second? As soon as you did, he pulled away with a smirk. Seems he got whatever he was looking for.

"Just as I thought. Still inexperienced."

Hisoka finally took a step back and gave you the room you needed to breathe. You thought he was finally going to leave when he turned his back to you, but he stopped. Hisoka glanced over his shoulder at you and said something that chilled you down to the bone.

"That's only a taste of what's to come."

With that, Hisoka disappeared down the hall.

You ran back to the living quarters and peeked in each room until you spotted Leorio and Kurapika. You knew it was a little weird, but you slipped in bed with Leorio and clung tight to him. His snoring abruptly stopped. Sounds like you woke him up.

"(Y/N)?" His groggy voice said in the dark.

"Go back to sleep, Leorio."

"Okay."

Not even a minute later, he was snoring once more. After Hisoka forced a kiss on you and threatened something even worse, your emotions were absolutely shot. You didn't want to think about it right now. Your best hope was that you could hide from him when he decides to strike. Maybe it wouldn't even be during the hunter exam, maybe you had more time to train. That was a problem for later. For the time being, you joined Kurapika and Leorio in a dreamless sleep.

____________________

Waking up the next morning, you found out that the airship arrived a bit late. Oh well. Sleeping in a bit was more than welcome on your end. Who knows when you'd get to sleep in an actual bed again?

The airship dropped the lot of you off on top of a tall tower. The base of it resided on what looked like a giant tree that had been cut in half. The other applicants stood around curiously, questioning what to do next.

Beans cleared his throat.

"Everyone, welcome to trick tower—the site of the exam's third phase. You'll be competing here at the top."

"Trick tower?" One of the applicants questioned.

"To pass this phase, you must reach the base of the tower alive. You have 72 hours to do so."

Three days? It was supposed to take you three days? Holy shit. Just what the fuck was inside this place?

"With that, the exam's third phase officially begins. Good luck to all of you."

The airship took off, leaving you and the rest of the applicants to fend for yourselves.

"Are we supposed to climb down?" Leorio asked.

"That would be suicide." Kurapika said.

"There has to be another way." You tried to encourage them. "What are we missing?"

A foolish man stood at the edge of the tower and announced that he was an expert rock climber. Initially, he made decent work descending down the edge and you thought he might make it. And then they came. Four giant, winged monsters swarmed him and ripped him right from the edge, swallowing him whole. Nature really was terrifying.

After that man was taken and eaten alive, it was clear that climbing down the side wasn't a viable option. You had to go through the tower. The only problem was, there weren't any doors in sight. How were you supposed to get through? A trap door maybe?

It hadn't been intentional when you got separated from the gang, just curiosity. You poked at the edge of the tiles, applying pressure with your feet and before you knew it, you were falling. You landed on your ass in a room with brick walls and grey tiles. In the center of one wall was a cylinder with a screen above it. A watch rested on the surface of it. You snapped it around your wrist. The time on it was seventy-one hours and forty-one minutes. And it was counting down too. Must be your remaining time.

"Hello there." A man's voice said from a speaker. "My name is Lippo. I'm the prison warden here, as well as your examiner for this phase."

Prison? Well, this was going to be fun.

"There are multiple routes in the tower. It seems you've chosen the solitary path."

Solitary path? What other paths were there? Doesn't matter. You can't change your mind now.

"If you want to pass, you'll have to be independent and decisive. Good luck."

Independent and decisive...you could do that.

A segment of bricks in the wall shifted upwards to reveal a metal door. You opened it and finally began your journey to the bottom.

You passed through room after room and hallway after hallway that looked the same as the last. You didn't think you were going in a circle. What you wouldn't give to be able to bust straight through the walls right about now.

Eventually, after several hours of searching, you came across a room with a platform in the center of it. Around the sides of it was what looked like a black abyss. A walkway from your door appeared, as did one from the room across you. In the shadows of that doorway, five cloaked figures appeared. Their hands were bound by thick metal handcuffs and one of them stepped forward. Prisoners maybe? Their handcuffs were unlocked and fell to the ground with a clang.

The one that stepped forward threw off their cloak. Before you stood a bald man with thickly coiled muscles all around his upper body. His bare chest was covered in tattoos from his collar bone down to his hips. His massive figure took up the doorway. Three of the others backed away from him. 

The warden explained that your goal is to defeat them. You had to win at least three matches to pass. Each of the inmates got to decide the test and every hour of yours they waste is a year taken off their sentences. If you lose to them, you lose all your time and fail the exam. Simple enough.

The two of you met on the platform and the walkways retracted. No going back now.

"A death match," he said. "That is my test. We don't stop until one of us dies."

Well, that just wasn't going to work. You didn't believe in killing, not unless it was absolutely necessary to preserve your life or another's. You'd never kill anyone before. There was another way, there always was.

"Why not try something more fun?" You asked. "I have a much better idea in mind."

"No changes. This is my test."

Ah. So he was a stubborn one then. Seems that you would have to be more persuasive.

"I'll cut you a deal. Five versus one battle. If you get me to admit defeat, kill me, or knock me out, my 72 hours are yours. However, I must defeat all of you with those same rules. No wasting time that way."

"And why the hell should we listen to you?" One of the prisoners from the sidelines said.

"Simple."

You disappeared from the main prisoner's sight, moving at top speed. You heard their gasps. In an instant, you were behind him.

"I'll kill you all right now and pass anyway."

For emphasis, you nailed the guy right in the spine, sending him stumbling forward. A bluff. Hopefully an effective one.

"I'm at a clear disadvantage with my deal, don't you think? Talk it over with them."

The guy was still reeling from your attack and when he glanced back at you, there was a look of disbelief on his face. Maybe even fear. He stumbled back to his group while muttering a string of curses. You couldn't hear all of what they were saying, but you picked up bits and pieces of it.

"You think she'll kill—"

"Don't know."

"Didn't hold back—"

You used your Ten, toughening your body for the battle to come. Five against one would be difficult for most. You didn't know their abilities or what kind of fighters they were. However, you already had years of training in karate. And judging by the way none of them looked at you when you used your Nen, as well as there average auras, they most likely weren't Nen users. If this worked, this would be your first battle against someone other than Hisoka. Why were you getting a bit excited?

"What'd you say warden?" The man you were originally supposed to face finally called out.

"Why not?" Lippo said through the speakers above.

The rest of their cuffs dropped to the floor and they shed their cloaks one by one. There was a black-haired woman there with grey wraps piled on top of her shoulders. Next to her stood an average looking man with waist length blonde hair. A woman stood next to the first man you had met. She was even bigger than he was, in both muscle mass and height. Finally, behind them all was a brunette man who only lowered his hood.

"Whenever you're ready," you invited them to attack.

They encircled you, cutting off any chance at escape. As if you would run.

The man who you were originally supposed to fight moved first. He rushed straight at you with his fist pulled back. You remembered when you used to fight like that. You dodged his attack with ease, kicking his shins as he fell forward. You kept an eye on the others, curious as to why they weren't moving.

The burly woman jumped in, flinging fist after fist at you just as the other guy had. She was just as strong if not stronger than the man. Faster too.

He came at you again while the woman was fighting you, their bodies filling your field of vision. Suddenly, the man struck out with a knife. You expected something like that from one of these bastards. You knocked the woman back with one hard kick and focused your attention on the man. You grabbed hold of his arm and twisted it, taking the knife from him and delivering a swift neck chop. Using his unconscious body, you flung him into the woman, knocking her on her back. The tiles cracked where she fell. She seemed to be unconscious. Two down, three to go.

The first two had been so big and fought so close to you that you hadn't been able to watch the others. Wrap lady had you bound up in an instant. Her bindings were much stronger than you anticipated. Before you could even really struggle, it was already too late. You felt something prick your neck and glanced over to blonde guy who was holding some strange tube. Was it a blow dart?

"Got her."

You vision swirled as the final guy threw off his robe, revealing an assortment of weapons pinned to your body. The surrounding area changed. You were back in the swamp, trapped in vines that only curled tighter around your body. You tried to break your way out. The knife! You had grabbed a knife, right? You angled it upwards and cut through the vines.

You heard a familiar chuckle and glanced up. Hisoka was standing in front of you, a card tucked in between his first and middle fingers. You stopped. What was going on?

To your right, two bodies were lying flat on the ground. Iko and Leorio. Their throats had been slashed and their dull eyes were opened wide. On the other side was Master Ena and Wing. Their hollow stared into yours, unmoving, emotionless.

"I'm going to cut you into pieces." Hisoka said with a sinister smile. "You're dead."

His voice alone was enough. Righteous indignation fueled your motions. You slashed and sliced at the vines with a roar, bits of greenery flying all around you. Just as Hisoka reached you, you were freed. You launched yourself at him, exchanging blow for blow. His movements were slower than they normally were.

A strike to the temple made your vision flicker. In retribution, you stabbed the knife into his stomach and twisted it out of pure malice. He let out a scream. Only, it didn't sound like him anymore. You knew Hisoka didn't really feel pain with his high tolerance for it. Your vision flickered between this world and another.

You saw the weapons guy reeling with the knife in his stomach and the other two took stumbled backwards in shock. The woman went too far. She fell off the edge of her platform to her death. All that remained of her were the shredded wraps at your feet.

"No!" You cried, holding your head.

You didn't mean for it to go this far. With your vision still flickering, you saw the man lying there in the swamp in the spot Hisoka had been. He was losing so much blood. You knew you had made things even worse by twisting the knife. What were you supposed to do? You didn't have the means to give him medical attention. And that woman...that woman fell to her death. Sure, they were criminals, but that didn't mean you wanted to kill them. You didn't want to play God by deciding who live and who dies. You abhorred Hisoka for that exact type of behavior.

"Stop! You're hallucinating!" Dart man cried. "I surrender, you win!"

You pulled the dart out of your neck. The hallucination didn't stop, but it was a bit weaker than before. You won.

"When will it stop?" You asked him as you swayed before falling on your ass. "Will I die?"

"Without the antidote, yes." Dart man inched away from you.

"Great."

"I originally planned to use it as a bargaining chip," he laughed nervously. "Guess that's a moot point now."

You had nothing to say to him at this point. A few people rushed in through a side door to take care of the man that had been stabbed. They carried him off from where they came. The other guy stood by you awkwardly.

"Here." He handed you a vile of clear liquid. You raised a brow. Why would he give it to you now? It's over. "Take it."

"You're giving me the antidote? You won't gain anything by that."

"Look, I don't wanna end up like that guy." He glanced over at the pool of blood that still remained. "I never wanted to kill anyone."

"Neither did I," you took the vile from him. For all you knew, it might be even more poison. Well if it was, you deserved it at this point. "Thanks."

"You should be all good in an hour."

You drank whatever the hell was in the vile. The man walked through one of the side doors when it finally opened. Well, more like ran. Meanwhile, you glanced at your watch. Sixty-eight hours left. Plenty of time.

After another hour past, you found that the effects of the poison had mostly disappeared. You were still a bit wobbly and your head ached like nothing else, but you were alive. You really hoped you didn't have another fight ahead of you.

You left from the door the prisoners had entered and descended further into the tower. The image of that man's body was burned into your eyes. You twisted the knife after stabbing him. Hell, you stabbed him in the first place. All because you thought it was Hisoka. Your emotions took control of you, impaired your judgement. You couldn't let that happen again.

____________________

"(Y/N), number 394 is the second to pass. Time elapsed: eleven hours, fifty-six minutes."

You stepped into the open room. Second to pass, huh? The first was Hisoka...of course it was. Oh hold on, was that blood on his shoulder and waist? Had someone seriously managed to injure him? Well, if he was sitting here with pretty minimal injuries, the other person was likely already dead.

It was a bit...awkward to say the least, being in the room with him...alone. He didn't make a move, didn't even bother opening his eyes. Well, if he wanted to antagonize you, he would've probably started by now. 

You sat across the room from him, but not so you were directly facing him. There were many closed doors around the circular room, several paths to come from. You wondered who would be next. When would your friends arrive?

Shortly after you, pin guy stepped into the room...pinhead. You didn't know his name and you didn't really care to learn it. His eyes immediately landed on Hisoka.

"I had a feeling that you already passed the finish line."

Hisoka just smiled. Were the two of them friends? As soon as pinhead's eyes landed on you, you looked away. He had that same "off" vibe to him that Hisoka had, so it wasn't much of a leap to imagine the two of them being acquainted at the very least. You didn't acknowledge him either. Instead, you waited.

Applicants trickled in after that, but not nearly as many as you expected. One guy ended up dying as soon as he reached the room. The exam was nearly over now, within the final few minutes and still no sign of Leorio, Kurapika, Gon, and Killua. Were they all going to fail? Had something terrible happened to them?

"Kurapika, number 404 is the twentieth to pass. Killua, number 99 is the twenty-first to pass. Gon, number 405 is the twenty-second to pass. Time elapsed: seventy-one hours, fifty-nine minutes."

You scrambled to your feet to greet them. They were all dirty, but other than that, appeared to be unharmed.

"I wasn't expecting the short and easy path to be a slide," Killua complained.

"Talk about cutting it down to the wire," you said to them. "Hey, wait a minute, where's—"

"Leorio, number 403 is the twenty-third to pass. Tonpa, number sixteen, is the twenty-fourth to pass. Time elapsed: seventy-one hours, fifty-nine minutes."

Leorio and Tonpa were both shoving each other, trying to fit through the door. Looks like things may have gotten a bit heated between the two during this phase. Despite how dirty he was, you crushed Leorio in a tight hug.

"I'm so glad you made it! I was starting to worry."

"Yeah, yeah," he pushed you away, "of course I made it."

With that, the third phase finished and the doors to the outside opened. Free at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realize that I may have goofed on Nen a bit. I know you need Gyo to see hidden aura (like Hisoka's bungee gum), but do you need Gyo to see everyone else's aura?


	9. The Hunter Exam - Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for this chapter: Graphic rape. It starts at the third line break in the chapter.

You and the other applicants finally left Trick Tower after what felt like decades being trapped there. There was no time to really celebrate making it this far, not when so many died before this. Your mind was focused mainly on what was next. What grueling phase would the examiners put you through this time?

"I never thought I'd miss sunlight this much," Leorio stretched his limbs. "Feels like we were stuck there for years."

"I know what you mean," you said. A strong gust of wind blew against your skin. Fresh air. Yes, that definitely was nice. A welcomed change.

You scanned the crowd, curious to see who was left. Oh the three brothers were here, numbers 197, 198, and 199. You had missed that much. As was the monkey man, number 118, the ninja, number 204—Hanzo, you believed his name was—arrow guy, number 53, and of course Hisoka and pinhead. Those were the few you saw the most potential in passing, along with your group of friends.

A man whose voice you recognized stood in front of you. Lippo. He wasn't too impressive in stature or presence. You'd say the most interesting part of him was the purple hair on his head and his glasses.

"Congratulations on escaping trick tower. All that's left is the fourth phase and the final phase."

Only five phases? Two left. That was much better than six phases. That meant you were over halfway there to becoming a hunter.

"The fourth phase will occur over there," Lippo gestured to an island behind him, "on Zevil island."

An island? Sounds like it'd probably have something to do with survival if you had to guess. However, you doubted anything during the hunter exam would be that simple. The fourth phase would be more difficult than the third, right?

"Now let's proceed."

At the snap of Lippo's fingers, a man wheeled out a cart with a box on top of it.

"I'll need each of you to draw lots."

For what? Were you going to be paired up or something?

"What do we need to draw lots for?" Arrow guy voiced your thoughts.

Lippo smirked.

"Who you hunt and who hunts you."

Ah. Well shit. This was going to be a bitch, wasn't it? You could only pray that you didn't have to hunt Hisoka and that he didn't have to hunt you. Hell, he'd probably hunt you for fun anyway if he saw you. You definitely didn't want pinhead either. 

"In this box are exactly twenty-five numbered cards, meaning one of the numbered cards will correspond with your badge. Now each of you will draw a card in the order you exited the tower."

Well, looks like you'd draw lots second then. You could get anyone. You tried to remember everyone's badge numbers right then. Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio were easy to group. Each had a 400 number. The brothers were easy as well, with them being in the 190s. Numbers 80, riffle girl, and 89, long black-haired dude were all grouped in the 80s. Hisoka's number stuck in your mind unfortunately. Number 44. That's all your brain could handle.

Hisoka marched his ass straight up to the podium without hesitation. You couldn't even begin to guess what was going through his mind about now, other than excitement that he finally had an excuse to kill people. Not that he needed one.

You were next, purposefully waiting until the clown was out of your way. You grabbed the first card you touched and walked back to your spot with Leorio. A white sticker covered the number on it. Oh, you should probably take off your badge now. Wouldn't want to make it easy on the one who was supposed to hunt you. You tucked your badge in your pocket for safe keeping.

Dread pooled in your stomach. You hadn't thought of it until now, but what if one of your friends was your target? Could you really contribute to their failure for the sake of you winning? Hopefully, you wouldn't even have to worry about that.

"Now, please remove the sticker," Lippo said once everyone had their cards.

You took in a deep breath. You ended up with...number 198.One of the brothers. You glanced up to verify which one it was. Blue cap and light blue shirt. The youngest brother. Not a terribly difficult target. You thanked your lucky stars it wasn't Hisoka.

"On those cards is the number of your target."

This was turning out to be an interesting game. Hunters and the hunted. You wondered who would be hunting you. This was a perfect time to put your Zetsu skills to the test.

"The number you drew was recorded by this box." Lippo said, placing his hand on top of the box. By the look on his face, he seemed like he was the most excited on for this phase out of everyone. "The objective is to steal the badge of your target."

"We don't have to kill each other then," one of the brothers sighed with relief. Awe. He seemed nice.

"The method is your choice. Retrieve the badge however you like. If you kill your target, it'll be far easier to take it."

Oh. Well then killing was on the table. It sounded like the examiner almost wanted you to kill each other. You imagined some people here wouldn't be willing to murder and would retrieve their target's a badge another way. You were one of them. Then there were others. Others who were willing to do anything it takes to pass, others who wouldn't bat an eye at killing, even when there's another way. Sickening.

"Listen up," Lippo said, holding up three fingers. "The badge of your target is worth three points, as is your own. You need six points to pass. All other badges are worth one point."

Good. You'd be able to pass even if you didn't manage to find the brothers. There were still quite a few weak links in the applicant pool now. Easy targets. Hell, maybe you shouldn't waste your time and go after whoever you saw. You'd just have to wait and see what opportunity arose.

___________________

After two hours of tension on the boat, you finally arrived at the island. Leorio, Kurapika, and you discussed that none of you were each other’s targets. You were thankful for that at least. 

You wanted to stay with Leorio, but the guide lady said you'd be entering the island in the order you left trick tower. Each person left at a two-minute interval. Maybe it was good that he finished so late in the game. If Leorio was to become a hunter, you couldn't help him through everything. He was strong and stubborn as hell. He could do it.

After Hisoka entered the island and two minutes passed, you did as well. Seven days. You'd have seven days to procure the badge. The island wasn't small by any means, but that should be enough time. After that, all you had to do was hold onto the badges and wait until time was up.

The island itself was lush with trees and grass that stretched up to your waist. Other areas were more foresty with streams of water running through them. A water source. Good. You tried to make a mental map of where you had been, but a lot of the island looked the same.

If you were to ignore the task ahead, this island might be a nice place to camp out. The birds chirping, animals running through the grass, branches swaying in the wind, it was almost serene. You wouldn't be foolish enough to let your guard down, oh no. You'd have to be smart about this. Hunting people was nothing like hunting animals. People strategize, think. They wanted to win just as much as you. You waited for nightfall before making your move.

During the day, you hid and watched the movements of anyone who passed by, choosing a spot high above most of the forest. You didn't know if your eyesight wasn't good enough or if you just picked a shitty spot. For most of the day, you hadn't seen anyone.

Night on the island was something else. The sun setting and casting a pink glow over the trees, dipping below the horizon. It was beautiful, but dangerous. You were more likely to be ambushed at night. At some point you heard what sounded like a tree falling to the ground. Distant, far too distant to worry about. You wondered what caused it.

The sun gave way to the moon shining bright above, the trees casting jagged shadows on the forest's floor. Time to move.

Maybe you were being overzealous by going for it your first day, but you didn't see the point in wasting time. If the brothers found their targets, they'd go into hiding and be much more difficult to find. If you found them while they were hunting, it'd be much easier to steal their badges. You wouldn't be caught unaware. Even while you were on the lookout, you were still keenly aware of your surroundings. Slipping in a state of Zetsu, you went on the hunt.

Knowing that Hisoka was in these woods somewhere didn't ease your nerves. He was the absolute last person you wanted to see. And if he needed your badge, it would be gone and you would fail. If you saw him, there'd be no choice but to run.

As the sun began to rise, you returned to base. Nothing. There wasn't any human in sight. You decided that it'd be best to sleep a bit in the morning and take care of your necessities like eating and drinking during the afternoon. Any time left would be used for hunting.

As much as you'd like to stay awake the whole time, you'd be worthless fighting anyone completely sleep deprived. The next night, you elected to move your base, hoping to find something a little higher traffic. It was then that you sensed someone following you. You weren't sure who, but it wasn't anyone particularly threatening. They're waiting for the right moment to strike, probably when you were hunting someone as well.

No point in letting someone distract you at your moment of truth. You stopped in your tracks. You _could_ just outrun them. They wouldn't be able to track you while you were using Zetsu, but they probably still had a badge this early in the game. Might be worth only one point, but it was better than nothing.

"I know you're there," you said, keeping your back to the person for the time being. "Why don't you make this easier on the both of us and just come out?"

No movement.

"Guess I'll come to you then." You approached the direction you had sensed them with a confident smile.

The man stepped out from behind the tree. Long black hair, tannish green shirt with a brown leathery vest. In his hand was nothing more than a dagger. You couldn't help but be reminded of phase three. You certainly would be careful with that knife. Probably best to get it away from him.

"You're the strong, silent type, I take it? That's hardly any fun, but I guess I can respect it."

"Do you know how long I've been following you?"

"Maybe an hour or two." The truth was you didn't know. You wouldn't admit that you only sensed him moments ago. "Not that it matters now. I've caught you."

"Try two days." He corrected, approaching you with his knife in hand. You thought he might be attempting intimidation. It'd work if you hadn't dealt with Hisoka. It was difficult for anyone to intimidate you after that.

"You're lying," you narrowed your eyes, stopping him in his tracks. Not a very good bluffer, is he? "You would've tried to take my badge while I was sleeping, like any normal person. Unfortunately, you're not clever enough to come up with something else."

Throw him off balance, make him emotional. It was mean, yes, but you wanted his badge. Assuming that you were his target, no one would be seeking you out specifically after this. You could focus on your own hunt.

Just to push him further, you added on, "next you'll say, I hate being underestimated."

"I hate being underestimated," the man said, faltering briefly. "What? How did you—"

He cut himself off and approached you once more.

Hm. From his behavior so far, you wouldn't be surprised if he were one of the ones willing to kill. He hadn't told you to give him his badge, not once. This man was looking for a fight. You'd be more than happy to give him one.

"Bring it on, tough guy."

He made the first move. With how slow his movements were, you wondered how he even made it into a competition like this. Sure, he had to have decent enough endurance to make it through the first phase, as well as decent enough navigation skills to get through the third. Maybe you had improved through this test or something.

He made a swipe at you with the knife. It missed by a mile. You latched onto his wrist and pinned him to the ground, turning his hand and forcing him to drop the knife. You kicked it away. As much as you wanted to make a snarky comment, you decided against it. It'd be too much like Hisoka.

"If you keep struggling, you'll break your own arm," you warned him. You didn't particularly _want_ to knock him out, but it seemed you wouldn't have a choice. "Sorry about this. Better luck next year."

Once he was out cold, you grabbed his badge from his pocket. Number 89. Damn. Well, one point was better than none. Who knows? Maybe you'd get lucky and find two other people. Then, you wouldn't have to worry about your target.

You turned the man so he was on his back and dragged him into a shaded area. The knife. You took it in your hand. Your reflection peered up at you from the shine of the sharpened blade. You could take it with you. Might be helpful...no. Best leave it here. You tucked it in the man's pocket and went on your way.

____________________

Four days. That's how long you had been here at this point. Four goddamn days and you hadn't found your target. You had wandered around a good portion of the island by now. You really hoped that you hadn't missed your chance with the brothers already having retrieved their badges or lost theirs.

That afternoon, a tremendous stroke of luck hit you. You finally came across another human. Not only that, but there were several voices. Oh this just might get you your six points.

Upon reaching them, you thanked your lucky stars. It was them, the three brothers. Killua was there as well and Hanzo too. The ninja was watching them carefully. 

"I'm guess one of you is 199."

His target. Perfect. That meant you wouldn't have to wrestle Killua for your target's badge. Your target was 198 so that most likely meant that either Killua or 197 was Hanzo's. Good. You wouldn't have to fight either of them.

The brothers tried to fight him, but Killua was so far out of their league. He even threatened to kill the youngest brother and you thought he might actually do it. Something was weird about that kid. He had heaps of latent power; you could see that much already.

All three badges were in his hands. Killua didn't seem like the type of kid to hold onto extra badges for insurance. What would he do with them? Give them back? No. That didn't seem like him. It's not like you could go ask him for one of them, not right now. Just wait and see.

"I guess I don't need these." Killua pulled his hand back and did something incredibly frustrating. He chucked the badges in two completely different directions. He must've sensed you or Hanzo. You supposed it was fair. It got the two of you away from him and the brothers would likely go after their badges. Not a bad strategy.

Hanzo was following one so you followed the other, racing by without too much concern who saw you. This was it. You'd have your target's badge and you could make it back to the starting area. It was a shame Killua did all the work for you, but it couldn't be helped. You doubted he'd like it very much if you had intervened.

You caught the badge in midair, tucking it close to your chest. Done. This whole thing was finally done. You turned over the badge and—what?! What the fuck? 197. You had 197! Oh that little shit, he switched the badges on you and Hanzo! Either that, or Hanzo just guessed wrong.

Only one thing to do now. Hanzo would probably come this way, looking for the second badge. You could make an exchange with him and the two of you could go on your separate ways. Trying to meet him halfway would likely end up in you two missing each other. Let him come to you.

You sat on the ground and leaned your back against the tree, awaiting his arrival. A few hours passed. He must not have remembered where the other one went. Early evening came and you were starting to worry he wasn't going to show.

You heard footsteps approaching. Glancing over, you saw that it was him, finally.

"Seems we got our badges mixed up," you smiled at him, standing to your feet. "I'll be more than happy to give you this one if you give me that one."

"I think I'll just take that one from you," he approached with an unreadable expression.

"Well, I'm not really in the mood for a fight. And if it's insurance you're looking for," you grabbed 89's badge out of your pocket, "how about I give you these two? It's not a bad deal and it's not like we get extra points for more badges."

"You must be pretty confident to bargain with me," the corners of his lips quirked up in a small smile. "I hope you're not underestimating me."

What was it with men and being underestimated?

"I would never underestimate a ninja," you had heard him telling anyone who would listen about his life story. Trained since he could walk and has trained for a total of 18 years. He wasn't a Nen user yet, but you hadn't learned offensive Nen yet. In a one on one fight, he'd win. "I have a lot of respect for such an honorable way of life."

Guys like him usually had this whole thing about honor. Hanzo in particular seemed to have quite the ego on him too. Maybe pride was a better word. Judging by the quirk of his brow, you assumed he was at the very least listening to you.

"Fine, we can trade. Slide them on the ground on the count of three and I'll do the same." He kneeled to the ground and you mirrored his actions, placing the two on the ground. "I don't have to tell you that I'll take all of your badges if you cheat me, right?"

The idea hadn't even crossed your mind.

"Right."

Three. Two. One. Go. You slid the badges almost the entire way to him. Far enough away that you could make a mad dash for them if he cheated you, but close enough to appease him. Seems Hanzo had a similar idea. The two of you picked up the badges. You smiled at him.

"See you in the next phase, Hanzo."

"Yeah, you too."

With that, he disappeared into the trees. You were left standing in the pink and orange light of the sun setting over the trees. For the most part, you made it out of this mess without too much difficulty. You hadn't even seen the problem children of the applicants. Unfortunately, you hadn't seen Leorio, Kurapika, or Gon. You hoped they were doing alright.

____________________

Something in the air shifted. You tucked the badge in your pocket, along with your own. It was obvious now. Someone was watching you from the shadows. Another person trying to hunt you? Just when you thought your trouble was finally over.

"You're quite the bargainer."

Your eyes went wide. How long had he been watching you? You looked over at Hisoka in horror. Those yellow eyes gleamed with sadism and something carnal, his white clothes still marred with the blood from the previous phase. The soft pink light of the sunset settled on his features, only making his hair appear even more red.

"What are you doing here?" Your initial concern was that he was coming for your badge. Your hand covered your pocket.

"I'm not here to take your badge. Although it would be the simplest thing."

Despite the subtle threat of his power, you supposed that was good news if nothing else. Why was he here then? And how long had he been following you?

He stepped closer and you instinctively stepped back. You hated yourself for it, showing that kind of weakness in front of him. A predator stalking its prey. The hunter and the hunted. Oh how you wished you could be the hunter in this case.

"Hisoka. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be out hunting?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm hunting _you._ "

Your heart dropped. The one thing you couldn't understand was why. Why was he so interested in you? He had so many people to focus on, so many other things to do. If he were here, willing to waste precious time with you, you could only assume he already had his six points. Hisoka wasn't one to plan anything ever, but you imagined he probably wanted to pass. Either that, or he was confident enough that he could get the badges he needed within these last few days.

"You said you weren't going to take my badge."

"I won't. However, I will be taking something else from you."

That look in his eyes. Lust. Pure lust. Not that of a murderer aching for blood, but that of a man. You couldn't hide the shaking of your knees or your uneven breaths. His intentions couldn't be clearer. He already forced a kissed on you and implied that he'd do something worse. You just didn't think he'd actually go through with it. You thought it was some heat of the moment type of thing.

"You don't mean—"

"I do."

You didn't want to think he'd actually do something like that. There had to be some way out, something that could stop him. Calling for help would only draw people who could take your badge. Besides, no applicant could help stop him. You were all alone.

"Hisoka, you can't do this."

"Why not? Are you going to stop me?" He approached you with a swagger, one hand placed on his hip. His eyes gazing up and down your body only made you feel more vulnerable, more exposed. "I'd love to see you try."

You had no response. The truth was that you hadn't caught up to him yet and you were still pretty far from doing so. If only you had enough time to learn Ren. Maybe you'd have a chance. Still, you weren't just going down without a fight. You didn't think you could outrun him, but maybe you could by yourself a bit of time to come up with a plan.

You turned on your heel and ran. From behind, you heard Hisoka chuckle. You were yanked to the ground by the back of your shirt. What the hell? He was still standing outside of arm's length. How did he grab you? Even with your aura nodes opened now and your body enveloped in aura, you didn't see anything.

"What are you doing on the ground, (Y/N)? Stand up."

You scrambled to your feet. Any opening, any vulnerability could be fatal. You just stood there, watching carefully to see what he'd do. Hisoka could always be so frustratingly unpredictable. 

"Attack me."

"Don't tell me what to do."

Your lips parted in a snarl. You truly didn't know what to do. Outmatched. You were completely outmatched. Attacking him would only result in further injury, as well as getting him even more worked up.

"If you're going to be stubborn, I suppose I'll have no choice but to come to you." Just like that, Hisoka was gone again.

You could feel his presence appearing and disappearing between the trees surrounding you. The snapping of twigs, footsteps and movement. They were subtle, but clearly there. He'd go for your blind spot, just like he did in the swamp.

His fist collided with the side of your face. That's...not what you anticipated. The impact sent you stumbling now with a sharp ache in your face. No matter how fast you jumped around, he was always right behind you, toying with you. A predator in hot pursuit of his prey. You stopped suddenly and stuck your leg out, sweeping Hisoka's feet from under him. Got him!

The magician fell backwards, using the palms of his hands to regain his balance by springing upwards and kicking you under the jaw at the same time. While you went sprawling on your back against the forest floor, Hisoka was back on his feet. The world spun around you. You couldn't even bring yourself to stand again.

"Mm, fighting you still isn't enough yet. I need more."

Before you realize what had happened, your body was strung up into the air. You couldn't see what had happened, but you knew it had to be his Nen. You were hung by your wrists with your legs spread open wide by something restraining your ankles as well. No matter how much you struggled, you couldn't break free.

You didn't want to think about what was coming next. What everything he had done so far was leading up to. The rooftop, the swamp, the forced kiss, and now this.

"Do you understand now? How utterly helpless you are?"

Your eyes glanced down and your stomach dropped. His hardened cock was straining against the white fabric of his pants and that look in his eye told you that he was far from finished. Once again, you were powerless to stop him. What shocked you even more were the knots of excitement twisting inside. As angry as you had been at him and as terrified as you were now, those feelings never did go away did they?

He was upon you now, circling you like a predator stalking its prey. He pressed his erection against your backside, his hands meeting your waist. His breath fanned out on your ear.

"I'm going to ravage you," his voice was no louder than a whisper, "and there's _nothing_ you can do to stop me. All because you disappointed me."

Was this his sick way of teaching you a lesson? No. He wasn't the type. As he pressed into you and one hand moved up to cup your breast, you cringed. This was wrong. The last times you were with him was everything you expected it to be and more. But this...this was terrifying. It was like you had been tossed into an open void with nothing to grasp at, nothing to pull you back to the world you know.

"Hi-Hisoka. Get off of me." Your voice wasn't nearly as demanding as you intended for it to be.

"Oh, how I adore that look," He teased, running his hand down your abdomen and stopping just before the waist of your pants. "Your desperation only makes me want to fuck you harder."

Knowing how rough he was bound to be struck a different kind of fear into you. What if he couldn't hold himself back? What if he killed you in the heat of the moment? There had to be something you could do.

"I thought we were friends!" You snapped at him, trying desperately to think of any way out of this. Hisoka didn't respond.

His hand dipped beneath your pants, his fingers sliding through your labia. His finger brushed against your clit, sending a jolt through your body. You inhaled sharply, embarrassed that such a light touch from him could invoke such a strong response.

His other hand slid up the front of your neck as his pelvis grinded against you, forcing you to lean into the hard surface of his chest.

"God, I hate you," you tried to stifle moans threatening to spill from your lips. "I wish I never went to any of your shows. You weren't even that good anyway."

That last part was definitely a lie, but words were the only way you had to fight against him. Like hell you'd just roll over and take it.

"You can't lie to me. I know everything about you, remember? You gave yourself to me first."

Before you could even think of a retort, him picking up speed made you involuntarily grind your ass against him. Your arousal was building fast, almost painfully so from the sheer intensity. Those deft fingers of his, always pressing and rubbing just the right way to make you putty in his hands. Malleable. Just for him.

"You're falling apart, (Y/N)," he cooed, tangling his fingers in your hair and yanking your head back so that you were forced to stare into those pale-yellow irises. The corners of his thin lips curled upwards into a smug smile. "Falling apart just for me."

You were close, so painfully close, and the magician knew it all too well. The telltale clench of your thighs, the fluttering of your inner walls, the way your lips parted to release a breathy moan. You chased your high, grinding against his hand, eager for release. Hisoka stopped and you couldn't help but whine.

"No, Hisoka, please" the words left your mouth before you could stop them, "please let me cum."

"I thought you didn't want this. Did the promise of orgasm change your mind that easily?"

God, you fucking hated his guts.

Suddenly, your body lurched forward and you fell to the ground. Whatever had been holding you was now firmly attached to the ground. Your face was in the dirt while your lower half remained upwards. Before you realized what was happening, you felt the nighttime breeze hit your bare skin. Your pants and panties were down, leaving you completely exposed to him.

"Just as pretty as I remembered," you heard him mutter from behind.

You glanced back at him to see that he was behind you now. His nails grazed the skin on your hip. You hadn't even realized you were leaning into his touch yet again. He left you close, so close to your climax that the built-up pleasure made your neglected clit ache.

You watched as he knelt behind you, pulling down the waistband of his pants. His cock sprung free with precum coating the tip of it. He dragged it from your clit to your entrance. The cool air against your slick arousal made you crave the warmth of being filled.

You saw a pale hand suddenly appear by your face. "I can't wait to hear you scream my name tonight, dear."

He shoved his cock inside of you, painfully stretching your walls and forcing a cry from your lips. His other hand was by the other side of your head now and he was draped over you, fucking you into the dirt without mercy. His set a fast and brutal pace. Fuck. With how wet you already were, you grew accustomed to his girth quickly, pain mixing into pleasure.

You could feel him looking at you, but you didn't bother to meet those yellow eyes.

"You're perfect like this. Helpless as I fuck you against your will."

Suddenly, you felt him pull out of you, much to your dismay. Was he going to keep edging you? You always hated when he did that.

No, thankfully, that didn't seem to be his intent. Instead you found yourself being flipped on your back. In an instant, your wrists were pinned by his hands. The size difference between the two of you was even more apparent when he loomed over you like this.

Hisoka fucked into you again, smiling down at you beneath him. God, you hoped no one could see you like this, trapped beneath him in the decreasing sunlight. His lips captured yours yet again. It was instinctual—that would be your excuse—to kiss him back. At this point, you decided that you would use him to chase your own high. At least that way, you didn't have to acknowledge what was happening.

His pelvis rubbing against your clit and his cock hitting your g-spot drove you to the edge. You clenched around him, your heart racing as you panted and squirmed in his grasp. Your hips jerked up as your climax finally came, the aftershock of orgasm leaving you quivering.

Hisoka was far from finished. You laid there beneath him as he continued, head turned to the side as you waited for him to cum and be done with it. Hisoka bit down hard enough to draw blood on the exposed flesh of your shoulder. One final thrust. As his climax came to an end and his cock gradually softened, he finally pulled out of you. It was over.

Hisoka turned your head to face him and placed a saccharine kiss on your lips, almost as if to mock you. Really, it was such a shame a pretty man like him had such a shit personality. Staring into those yellow eyes brought an almost nostalgic feeling that was quickly corrupted by hatred and shame.

Hisoka readjusted his clothing while the remainder of his cum dripped down your legs. He stood above you with a smug smirk.

"That was fun," he said with his hand on his hip. "We'll have to do that again sometime. Perhaps after the hunter exam is finished."

Your lower lip quivered at the thought of it. Without another word, Hisoka left you laying in the dirt.


End file.
